Dream Dark Stories

Tag: worry

  • What’s With Today, Today?

    Hi-ho and hello.

    I’ve taken to a gander of the simple things and reflect on change. We can call it a redefining self image in retrospect. Never, it even smells like guacamole. Perhaps a remolding, a reimagining of the shit I think matters which is everything and nothing like my music that sparks from Iceland, to Italy, around the world back here at home. Who knows? Call it chasing patience, call it a nature of habit, this is how I want it.

    I’ve been thinking of the chaos and monotone that is life, the chaos that is the news as of late and the disruptions to normalcy that we’ve become so accustomed to. But… What holds to the breath? Who? Is there a sideshow casting a bigger shadow than what’s before us? I, like a fool, hold to hope and keep my eyes to the stars for s glimmer of something shining. Hopefully, it won’t be a bullet for my mind. Maybe just a pistol for the paper at my fingers… Maybe. Just maybe.

    C’est La Vie

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Two Hundred & Forty-Nine, September 5th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    So…about worry.

    Fear is an amazing and frightening thing isn’t it? We can be so relaxed with not a worry to be had and all it takes is that small innocuous moment of something changing to immediately set anxieties reeling and levels of stress reaching a peak that has one struggling to breathe.

    I’m there now. Struggling to breathe but there is something funny about this…isn’t there? Because, what do you want to bet nothing has happened?

    It’s true. Nothing as of yet has happened about the workshop. Nothing has manifested other than my dear friend having a good session for a workshop. That’s it.

    And for some reason my imagination isn’t there.

    What happens within is the mind tells me he’s fleeing that he’ll cut the cord today, that he’ll tell me I’m a fraud, nothing good, waste of time…oh the anguish.

    That’s the imagination at its worst.

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I think you for your patience, I thank you for your support, I thank you for being you and staying awesome. May your night be ever graceful and the night be a whirlwind of bliss and wonder.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day Two Hundred & Forty-Eight, September 4th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    So I got a job and I’ve had this job for awhile now; I’ve been the editor kind of character for my dear friend John for almost two years now. And I’m nervous.

    I feel that I haven’t done enough in drawing a line and implicating a call for prompts and exploratory scapes into the fundamental craft of writing to write.

    I’ve been so focused on maintaining that of what he wrote for the memoir and what I’ve edited. It’s all I edit and all I focus on when I come over.

    But lo and behold his wife scheduled up a writing workshop.

    Now a small part of me was throwing a mental fit when I got the news.

    The other, larger portion was elated to hear for John as a writing workshop would be more than great for him and help him hone in his craft and find his voice.

    I guess what I’m nervous about is losing my position and him finding out that I’m less than I try to portray as someone who has been writing for years.

    The trouble of the matter is, I have been writing for a long duration and am in school currently and will be gaining my Masters sooner than later. So I’m nervous. I’m also reeling with the imaginary fears of being considered obsolete now that he’s been to a workshop. I know it’s foolish, but still, there’s an inkling inside that has me spinning and near fretful.

    I guess I can do nothing but continue editing, continue communication and hope that my small worries don’t manifest into something greater.

    Fingers crossed.

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I thank you for the support, thank you for coming time and again. May your nights be forever joyous and the days be blissful and gentle.

    Thank you for being you and staying awesome.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day Fifty-Six, February 25, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    You know it’s a salute to Vonnegut, my introduction that is. I find it funny cuz my favorite writer even still is Bradbury, but there was a fine separation between the near crass and very personable Vonnegut and the gentle metaphorically phrased daggers that stand precariously through a work of Bradbury’s. They’re each a savior in themselves and the words that met my eyes, my heart, but so it goes.

    There. That. It’s right there, leaking from my words direct to his, Vonnegut’s. And maybe that’s it, it’s natural and when in my lonely teen times Vonnegut was met like a buddy, he was funny, sharp, deeply resolute and always opinionated, regardless of the odd 40+ year difference it still held a relevance. And even still the older I become.

    It’s Sunday, I’m nearing the last couple hours before I absolutely need this News report to be done and I’m sweating it. 150 points if I can pull it off. But I stutter like a twittering flutter butterfly, cough over my words like a jumping gazelle and trip over the inflections intended for a riveting piece. I don’t know. Maybe today, script written, practiced I’ll pull it off, it’s the big long form essay though that I’m more than choking about. We’ll see. I’ll see.

    Time, time, and more time. If only there could be more, or less call to being where I’m wanted and where I’m wanted, the balance between the two, a precious balance that can be destroyed with the slightest wrong push this way or that way.

    My mind’s fluttering with the prospect of failure the hopes of success, the knowledge of 150 points that I need to make sure I get that 150. Wish me luck if you would I’ll let you know what the grade is Monday morning or Tuesday Monday night I don’t know.

    C’est la vie

    May you have a splendid and wonderful good night, may your coming morning be graceful, peaceful, and quiet. And for those of you waking up may you have a wonderful day to come, and may the night swiftly, gracefully sweep you to a restful night’s sleep.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Fifty-Five, February 24th, 2024

    It’s the end of my last course, for a moment. Tomorrow, Sunday, will be the last day of school till the 18th of March. I hadn’t noticed until earlier this afternoon. Oddly, the excitement I thought would be there, well, it isn’t.  I enjoy the routines and the planned flow of work set and lined to the end. I don’t know, maybe I need it. Perhaps I could take the opportunity, depending on other circumstances, to make possible my writing, the art, and drop Stuck Pt. 2. Maybe make the IG account a business one too. It’s not like I use it except to drop art.

    It’s a thought, it usually is anyway, but then I let myself and the worries within grab hold and I freeze. I may maintain a motion, especially if it’s a normal routine I carry on through a weekday, like dinner, the dogs, dishes, laundry, but what’s in my mind is usually my worst enemy. The inkling of trouble, the small notion of negative tones, a sulking mannerism seen and I’m reeling. Especially within because the chances, the options, and the prospects, are so much darker, bleak, and vile.

    The imagination, though I appreciate it, I fear the eagerness at times that catapults my heart and mind throwing them in an emerald tornado of fret and worry that takes so long to trod through.

    Til tomorrow, Monday morning late Sunday night, who knows.

    C’est la vie

    Good night and Good morning, good morning and good night.

    Nosce Te Ipsum