Tag: what?

  • What? The mind of an MSer.

    Dizzying perspectives trapped within…holding on to the notion I’ll be saved, perhaps…stuck within the dizzying circumference of rapturous delights, the books. The books. The books. I’m spinning and spinning. My legs feel like jello simmering in the pot bubble bubble bubble. Heading south bound to the perspectives held asunder broken million pieces of the deepest blue. Whipping off the face to see something deeper than what isn’t so brave. Darkened motifs designed to shade the darkest corner of what we think.

    C’est La Vie

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

    ‘Know Thyself’

  • Day Two Hundred & Forty-Two, August 29th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello

    And I know, I’m late, three, maybe four now, mm I think…life is…well, it’s life. It’s not always peaches and cream or mana from the heavens…sometimes it’s a s*** sandwich that we need to persevere through.

    I know sorry fell, I’d say ghoulish overkill or ghoulish humor but it’s not humorous it’s f****** life.

    But that’s the beauty of it. Life is beautiful and messy and sometimes chaotic and sometimes perfect, it’s life. There will be days where I will have my s*** in order and there will be weeks that I’m…off my game.

    Today, hell, this week has been that for me.

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning good night. I hope your day is beautiful and your night is blissful. Thank you for being you thank you for supporting and thank you for being awesome.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day One Hundred & Twenty-Three, May 2nd, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    The last few nights I’ve found myself just staring off. I’ll kiss the wife good night, tuck in my son beside her. I say goodnight to the both of them, lay down on my small cot, and stare off to the droll of the darkness, and this has been happening for days, maybe even weeks now. I’m certainly losing track of time.

    The other day I went to bed at 1:30 in the morning, woke up at 4:00 a.m., wide awake, having to somewhat force myself back to sleep but it’s not sleep it’s more just a fruitless, fretting, tossing, turning, and that’s not the first of that type of sleep, it’s been like this for years now.

    And this, my reader, is the biggest reason why I’ve come wanting to address Carl Jung and the Five Pillars of happiness. I’ve been rather ignorant with my understanding of what depression is, trying to address it as though I’m just moody, I’m just not feeling well, under the weather, but that hollow sensation is right there. I would love to say that it’s fleeting, that it’s not a concern, that I am okay. But that’s a laugh, innit?

    Before I close out and drop my playlist which isn’t all that long, as a reader what are your five pillars of happiness for you? One of my biggest which I have yet to address and will likely be addressing next week will be art, writing, and making sure to attribute those two things to balancing the issues at hand. Of course this will take time to address, to acknowledge, to delegate, and understand but I hope through sharing art, sharing perspectives, sharing more of the whole, the idea of who and what Dream Dark Stories is going to be will come.

    Hand drawn, I figured AI had to go.
    What I Made…
    …through the night…
    …staring off into the darkness, using the TV light to mold and blend.
    Enjoi!

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I do hope you well, hope the day is blissful and the night gentle. Stay safe.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Sixty-Two, March 2nd, 2024

    Hello and Hi-ho, 61 days down, and oh so many to go…that is I hope. I figure I’ll just keep it up with the thoughts-journal till I either run out of money, lose the ability, or pass.

    Sorry, ghoulish humor.

    Apparently, I ask too many questions, make little sense, and am more than confusing. Even here, at home, with my family.


    And of course the day later I find myself editing this work which is why I have that separator to let you know that this is being edited Sunday. Personally I take the time to gather my thoughts and I also take the time to be conscientious of not only what I’m sharing but how I’m talking and what I’m talking to or for I also like to keep my marriage alive if that’s possible.


    Marriage is, well it’s definitely a trick, a very self-motivated conscious effort in making sure that the relationship is balanced and beneficial for the both of you. At least that’s what I’m thinking…?

    And to anybody married myself included I don’t mean that as and insult mentioning marriage being a trick. It just takes a lot of effort from both parties. More than I ever had assumed or even thought would be required especially as a younger person, especially as a teen. I was straight up a s*** ass and I know that also know that the first large chunk of my marriage was destructive and I don’t know I feel like there is hope, but I also feel that if I make the wrong moves, she’s not going to want to stay.

    Sorry whoa…a lot of this is stemming from stresses that we’ve been faced with our son growing, getting beyond that little boy age, and needing more stimuli, more conversation, and did I mention constipation.

    It’s what has the weekend so mismatched mixed up, hahaha f****** constipation.

    C’est la vie

    the night has me I’ve got stories I need to do I have scored to finish and I’m going to try to see if I can get a job on lithub.com, if you would wish me luck.

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night to all of you, to everyone, to anyone.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • A Wallet Missed Pt. 3

    A Wallet Missed Pt. 3 by: M. R. Vega


    Lucy was grinding at her teeth aggressively enough that Harold looked at her with a near neurotic assumption that it had to do with him, surely he was right as to the reason they were steering to the bookstore at 75 mph down the freeway. Back at the apartment, there was the haunting reminder of broken piles of books and likely still flapping pages with the A/C still on. He knew he was the ass in the picture and anyone looking in from a scope would shame his behaviours as well as scream for Lucy to kick him to the curb. But, there was something there, of course, the obvious want in bringing her collection back to life, but something about that damn wallet. Such a cheap wallet, Lucy only remembering there was an amount near two hundred dollars if that, and all the trouble tears and sweat didn’t amount to a cheap, velcro-clad wallet. It didn’t track and while still stewing in Lucy’s mind she found that the grinding of her teeth kept her from jabbing her nails into Harold’s face. Luckily, Harold didn’t need to know and would never come to find that what she wanted was to rip him like he did her collection, pluck the facial hair and the chispas at the nape of his neck. However, Lucy was gracious and calmer than her sister and mother and would refrain from having the cops called on her, at least that’s what she swore to herself growing up. It didn’t mean the thought never crossed her mind.

    Nearing the bookstore, they saw a lack of cars parked nearby and hoped the store was still open. Harold crossed his chest and looked up at the mirror praying he’d have the opportunity to at least pay back the minor fortune tonight if the store had the ones he knew Lucy was checking off in her mind. The fact was true, the list was getting large, large enough that Lucy secretly hoped they had multiple employees to help bring the books to the car, and at that thought she sped up and skidded into the lot, tossing the keys at Harold and telling him to keep up. Once she had her legs out of the car she nearly pounced like a feline and ran to the door and to her delight the cool air of the door swinging open brought a jubilation she wasn’t sure would be felt for months. Looking at the hours of operations that hung near the entrance she realized she’d have less than an hour to do her spree and grinned maniacally with a near peevish glee of retribution back at Harold, he knew this smile he caught meant ‘you’re carrying it all’.

    He shamefully nodded at the smile knowing what it meant and quickened his steps keeping his hands ready to catch whatever was collected from the frenzied woman he awoke. She took him to the classics starting with Homer and her favorites of the stoics, then came Bronte, Milton, Goethe, Plathe, Morrison, King, Vonnegut, King again, (more than she thought would be available), some Palahnuik, Bradbury, short story anthologies, Poe, Twain, Muir, Dick, Perreti, Sagan, Kundera, Alexie, Atwood, Shelley, O’Connor, Lee, Angelou, Hurston, and she had to pause and collect her thoughts, knowing she wasn’t being fair and grabbed some Dekker, Ellison, and Coben.

    She then cackled like a banshee, having the staff that was left in the store, looking at one another with anxious apprehensions as they shuffled about, wondering how would this girl pay for all of this. The cashier at the front was rolling an eye thinking there was no way the man following behind and quickly stacking book after book didn’t seem to have enough. He was sweating with a nervousness that was certainly understood by the cashier and that of the staff as they were sure they’d all have to put every book back within their time left before closing and the plans tonight were for the bar, not reshelving over a hundred books so far.

    Finally, Lucy stopped, bent over to catch a breath and told Harold to find some graphic novels to round up the final hull, Harold grinned and grabbed some classics of his teenhood and a few newer artists that he’d recently been following on the ‘gram’. He then grabbed a favorite of his; Gaiman and Harris and sheepishly walked up to the cashier with a shit-eating grin and asked for it to be all tallied up with a near-guilty chortle and squeak. The look of anguish and ridicule he was met with had him take a step back but the cashier obliged. After finally counting each one with a beep and scan, they had over 130+ novels, anthologies, and graphic novels, the total was nearly $6,400. Harold showed nothing but assured confidence and whipped out a velcro-clad wallet. The cashier almost laughed but there it was the exact total. Harold confidently pulled out the total, almost as though he knew he’d have enough and with whatever was remaining he left on the counter after asking the staff if they’d mind helping get the books to the car. None of them denied the request as most of the staff were aghast with a shocking horror that there was enough to pay for such an astonishing hull.

    Lucy though was nearly floored, she knew, not knew, was certain that there were only 200 dollars in that wallet the other day. Nothing more at least, and nowhere near the thousands he’d just shelled out. Her mouth hung open for a moment as she watched the man who’d made the promise and showed he meant to keep it carry the first large pile to the car while he asked for her to unlock the trunk. She shook her head and closed her mouth, still astonished and perplexed at the oddity of the cheap wallet and needed to understand what the hell just happened and how, after finishing up loading the car, there were 130+ books being driven back to the apartment. How?