Will it be okay? I ask the nothing that surrounds me—awaiting an answer that won’t come. The silence renders me indecisive. I take a seat on the rubbish beneath me and ponder the quiet, its dead sounds of ancient time dripping by like gelatinous quivering aches of life. Do I scream? Do I shake and holler? Do I sit? The placid stagnancy echoes through me, penetrating my bones, scratching beyond the nerve to a place I cannot obtain. Perplexity grasps my mind and leaves me breathless, aiming nowhere and heading down fast. I embrace it, I inhale it with gasping breaths, devour it with gnawing teeth, and rest in silence awaiting my time…
Today I’m going to be very quick as a matter of fact, the reason why is I know I have at least two people who are awaiting Forget-Me-Naught Pt. 2, as well as trying to stay consecutive with an ample punctuality in posting it. I did say that I would have it up posted by Sunday / Monday
That said and given that my Sunday as well as every other day has more and more chaos kind of coming our way, I’m finding that my hands are often more busy than I care to admit.
To which I would like to simply state that for anybody who has a child with special needs, family member with special needs, or anybody in their lives with special needs, remember what they may show you, is only the surface of what’s actually going on within. My son nonverbal as he is, has shown a considerable amount of wanting. Wanting a friend, wanting a buddy, wanting his parents, and needing some support in his role. And sadly to my dismay it’s becoming very difficult for him to regulate, enough that he’s been hurting himself hurting his mom and dad, and inflicting his anger on himself and the things around him. It has called for a recollecting of foundation, support, a meeting in resolve to truly help him. So if ever I am late and dropping a post or if ever there is a time where I may be complaining, know that it’s true and the tiredness shared as well as the other things that are going on with life it’s all tied together and it’s more than exhausting.
With that I’m going to be dropping a playlist, it’s a bit of an angry playlist, to which it’s not all that long but I’m pretty sure you can deduce. Hope you don’t consider that rude and I do wish you the best.
Playlist #0.20
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. To those and any that ever come to this page, I do hope it’s known that I am greatly appreciative of the support and the coming back to check out what’s going on. I thank you very much.
Again, Forget-Me-Naught Pt. 2, will be dropping today, Monday, I am editing it in and out while I speak and edit this that I forgot to schedule.
Pretty sure I’ve mentioned it about hugging the cactus I don’t know who it is I don’t know where it came from I just like the metaphor because that’s what a relationship is. It is a true showing of how much of that cactus whether it be fine, egregious, and needle boring, and a nasty thorn, the vicious kind, or poisonous, and more gentle and positively joyous that we are measured up to. And how tenuous that tether will bow and long it’ll last.
It’s a matter of what affects you, right? How much power will you give the other partner in your dichotomy of two?
But then there calls maturity, grace and action or to behold love through peaceful negotiations.
And to my dismay I found that anytime my partner has more time on her hands than screen time available, I’m finding a need to make myself more present and consistent with being there for her. Meaning even having my phone down and off, regardless if she’s watching something on her phone, there comes a call to make sure I’m not doing anything but awaiting her invitation. A call to make sure that I’m available for when she is no longer busy so now that this is becoming a new thing hopefully I’ll get Saturdays and Sundays in but I don’t know we’ll see.
Good morning and good night good night and good morning.
Dream Dark Stories 