Life, individuation, sorry I’m so late to the post drop. F****** life, just manages to shift focus, has the kind scrambled and me really trying to make sure I end with an A for this final with the course… Now here’s the thing.
It’s three pieces, a short story, an analysis of short story and character development and discussion, the second, addressing the Gettysburg address, four lines, analyze, describe and share with an annotated location of language, stanzas and what have you, the third an expose on why short stories are the objective, why they h mean so much and in doing detail the meaning of Edgar Allen Poes thoughts on the discussion of the short story.
Easily done, truly, not all that daunting and it’s exciting…
But, did I ever mention throughout my daily spills that Ocrevus can bring depression? It’s a warning, I know it, and I’m finally addressing that it’s got me at the moment, weeks actually, coming to terms with that and acknowledging it is making it easier but to keep my head up, to stay positive is asking a lot and as I’ve said time and again, I’m f****** tired.
How it Feels
By M. R. Vega
The morning comes with a whipping latch for the bones within. A heated flurry, a whisper of worry, but the rhythm of our flows discombobulate the mind.
Don’t worry, this too shall pass. Let these lies be grasped tightly, shoved and inhaled down, down to rectify the pain, to revive a fire long expelled, long dried, ashen, and…Gone.
Contrary to the burning letters inside this obstacle course of what I call my temple, contrary to the belief all is fine, the pages tatter, they flutter to fly, to fail, to die.
Come with me, take a minute within to find a resolute shame, to find the broken and take to it some tape, trap in what’s left, to it be kept for this, to be shared before it’s long gone. To be burned to an ashen whisper of a previously rebuked hope, let it become ash, it’s where we came, where we belong.
Life…sometimes it’s a convoluted mess that takes days to untangle.
However I am excited to share some art and upcoming projects I hope are appreciated here.
IDEA #1Needs massive change IDEA #2IDEA #3IDEA #4IDEA #5IDEA #6Plans of making more face parts and we’ll see…🤔🤔🤔
We’ll see likely over the weekend and I’ll get back to pillar one tomorrow. Sorry for this being so damn late.
C’est La Vie
Goodnight and good morning, good morning and goodnight. May the day be bliss, may the night bring joyous splendor of dream fueled delight.
Since I’m coming with a Jungian philosophy and I love me a good quote here and there I figured let’s bring in some focus.
To start; a quote from the great philosopher:
“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” –Carl Jung
I personally, I feel that we do both. There is a grasp to the awakening for the cognizant aspect of what life is, but I also share a likened dreaming that I think our minds are designed to create. Maybe it’s to be a stoking fire, something raging and igniting a wanting to the things that are just out of reach.
But that’s the thing life is perplexing. And it’s not just black and white, it’s a kaleidoscope whirled dreaming of bliss and wondrous color, isn’t it?
Let us look inside though, I’ve been intending on dropping a post earlier in the day, however I had some painting today for a Wonka day coming up and that’s outside of my scope for what is here.
Some things are meant to be private, right?
It’s maddening chaos at times, the piles of things build and build with the time being an incessant groaning tuck always tick-tock, tick-tock.
It leaves a desire for a self meditation/soothing which calls to deep sit downs with music. As much music as I can plug into. I love the nuances of the lyrics, the inflections of desire, vile disgust, pandering love spurting from the seams, these things rule my bones with a desire to understand humanity. To listen to the voices around and soak in their thoughts, but the time…the f****** time, hmmm, never seems to be enough…or I hold myself to a standard of question and undecided direction that has me spinning, spinning, and spinning til I’m sick of it.
This is why the music is shared. I call to you to take on the task of reading what I write and tying it to the music shared, how it connects like a the knot that’s in my head. It is like this…or this is an example. I think of painting, brings thoughts of canvas, thoughts of Basquait, makes me think of Goeth, makes me think of Cummings, makes me think of Vonnegut, makes me think of Jung’s Pillars, makes me think of aliens in Vegas, makes me think of Dizzee Rascal, makes me think of a thumping, a rumbling makes me think I need water.
If it explains the times, the rhetoric, the flow, I hope it does.
Enjoi!!!
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night you beautiful souls. I truly do thank you for the support. I hope I can bring an encouraging for one another, supporting one another, thank you very much everyone.
It’s a shared moniker for that of a breakfast meal, typically known as a toad in the hole.
Unknowingly I’ve been calling it Cleopatra’s eye since before I met my wife, and as a matter of fact it’s one of my favorite breakfast to make for the simple fact that it’s more than easy and it gives me an excuse to use in a ridiculous amount of butter because let’s be real, butter is delicious. And yes, to anybody reading, it does also share the name with what V makes for Evie in that of V for Vendetta; a wonderful Dark Horse/DC Graphic novel.
Even though my intentions today was to talk about the initial set plan for the coming week Monday through Friday. But when looking up Cleopatra’s eye, making sure I was sharing appropriate details, I found not food but NGC 1535; a planetary nebula in the constellation Eridanus.
This Hubble image shows NGC 1535, a planetary nebula located 5,500-7,500 light-years away in the constellation of Eridanus. Image credit: NASA / ESA / Bond et al. / Gladys Kober, NASA & Catholic University of America.
Now I wasn’t necessarily dismayed, more just a bit perplexed that the entire time, since childhood I’d associated Cleopatra’s eyes to a salty and buttery, deliciously cholesterol fulfilling fuel. The thing is I’m a very big fan of space, very big fan of the James Webb telescope, Hubble telescope, NASA, and for some f****** reason I didn’t have Cleopatra’s eye connected anywhere to space. Just my tummy. Sorry about that.
Anyhow diet has changed a little bit and having to do with the Cleopatra made I just like to share that making it with gluten-free bread is key or a dense type of bread. You want want the soggy bread later. Two slices and using a cookie cutter to slice the hole where you’re going to put the egg in, do an additional slice where you can put the egg white, if wanted. This gives the opportunity to have one egg yolk, protein jacked type of meal with the nice addition of an egg white as its own counterpart. It is delicious and I would suggest it would go great with either ham or bacon. I had sausage, not bad just not a very big fan of sausage unless it’s Italian sausage from Passkey. 😁
Anyhow I apologize, today is weird, I have so many writing projects on my f****** table, or is it play or the magnitude of it I guess it would be a table cuz, well, no the plate now it’s already overflowed.
Enjoi!!!
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I do thank you all for the support, the continued coming back to read again and again. I do wish you well, I do wish you peace.
Sorry, hahaha, a cheeky move, I know, but, it is a thing and if my collection was ever shared on here of the Lego sets, well maybe one of these days.
We’ll see.
Hmmm. 🤔 That phrase, “we’ll see”, it stirs something within, not an anger of sorts, something remembered salted and ruined, just something sour, a bit of iron graces the corners of my tongue. Or did I just bite?
It does have a hint of sinister resolve, a personal and resolute type of adage that keeps me alert. It has the senses tightened.
The coming week I’m going to be practicing the previous things mentioned like yoga, diet, meditation, and continued planning with health and mental wellness but will also be trying to post a morning and nightly post. These will be about how the practices of meditation and other things impacted or taken away from other insights, learnings and steadiness grasped or lost. Like that of school work focus, art focus, or if doing any of this, all of this, will increase a wanting, a bringing that resolve to finding peace with the first pillar.
Through just the last couple of weeks there is this daunting reality that I’m finding a bit hard to handle, a bit of a struggle due to the isolation? And though I know that isolation isn’t intentional in malicious, it’s definitely affecting my person and I do not appreciate that. So I’m going to try to start reaching out to my brother’s a little bit more and my friend John and see what I can do about building that up a little bit. Luckily what I do like is I have here to decompress, relieve that stress, and share with anybody out in the world who is looking for something to grasp a hold of, or to look; “oh hey, I’m going to do everything that person isn’t or is.” If it helps, great, right?
Don’t forget Part 3 of Forget-Me-Naught will be dropping Sunday/Monday with Detective Milton’s playlist. Monday art and a few other things will be coming this week. Thank you everyone.
Enjoi!!!
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning good night may your day be ever bright and may the night be careful. Thank you for your support thank you for following please share and have a joyous day.
Life, individuation, the first pillar, Jung, my head, Jung, again, my head, Jung , Jung, Jung, look a wall.
Today, well, it’s a day where I’m going to take a moment to myself and reflect while I share some poetry and a playlist of favorites from Spotify. Enjoi!
Seashells
I remember the seashells, I remember the cold surface cupped against my ear, my mother asking if I can hear… If I can hear an ocean deep.
I remember the seashells, I remember the cold surface, an echoed hollow of something distant, something nearing being forgotten, I remember.
I remember the seashells, that cold surface, and a question that came with a known white lie, I remember nodding to a sound I didn’t know, something distant, something but forgotten, I remember.
I remember the seashells, but it’s something new, something small, I remember the seashells and their distant whisper of lyrics sung but only to me, I remember a different shell, this with sound, I remember.
M. R. Vega
Change
Calm the solutions, claim to negligence, absolve the blame.
The furrow of furies, a billowed worry, the calm to recoiled delights
Shame the differences, accuse the anguish, flavors missed, the ears suppressed. Mute. Mute. Mute and Scream.
M. R. Vega
Fuzzy Fury
Confusion.
I was here, now I’m gone, but then I was here again. Wait. What? I was here, now I’m gone, but then again I was here. Again.
A testament to this in a breaking brain, how the routine, disarray of the ADHD, a fragmented space of matter, missing, chunks, white, evanesce, to blank, the gray, eroded, the black, gone, gone, gone.
The last few nights I’ve found myself just staring off. I’ll kiss the wife good night, tuck in my son beside her. I say goodnight to the both of them, lay down on my small cot, and stare off to the droll of the darkness, and this has been happening for days, maybe even weeks now. I’m certainly losing track of time.
The other day I went to bed at 1:30 in the morning, woke up at 4:00 a.m., wide awake, having to somewhat force myself back to sleep but it’s not sleep it’s more just a fruitless, fretting, tossing, turning, and that’s not the first of that type of sleep, it’s been like this for years now.
And this, my reader, is the biggest reason why I’ve come wanting to address Carl Jung and the Five Pillars of happiness. I’ve been rather ignorant with my understanding of what depression is, trying to address it as though I’m just moody, I’m just not feeling well, under the weather, but that hollow sensation is right there. I would love to say that it’s fleeting, that it’s not a concern, that I am okay. But that’s a laugh, innit?
Before I close out and drop my playlist which isn’t all that long, as a reader what are your five pillars of happiness for you? One of my biggest which I have yet to address and will likely be addressing next week will be art, writing, and making sure to attribute those two things to balancing the issues at hand. Of course this will take time to address, to acknowledge, to delegate, and understand but I hope through sharing art, sharing perspectives, sharing more of the whole, the idea of who and what Dream Dark Stories is going to be will come.
Hand drawn, I figured AI had to go.What I Made……through the night……staring off into the darkness, using the TV light to mold and blend.
Enjoi!
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I do hope you well, hope the day is blissful and the night gentle. Stay safe.
Yesterday I talked about coincidence, coincidence and the causal aspects of life that have us looking at circumstances thinking that it can’t be anything but a coincidence. So I thought of it, I thought of the coincidences, thought of life, thought of my circumstances, and came to think that maybe it’s a good thing Jung didn’t do more studies on coincidence. Maybe it’s a good thing that he left it to those that would come after his passing that delved into the totality of coincidence and how we consider the truth to it or the false aspects of it.
The biggest reason this has been in my mind, well in all honesty, as a professor of mine would like to state; it takes courage to address and acknowledge depression, or a state of fracturing within the mind space.
I’d love to say being a parent is amazing and great and it’s super awesome and it’s super chill and I love doing it everyday.
I’d love to have some superlatively coated, drenched in pink glitter kind of response to what it’s like being a parent. But the simple matter of fact is this, if your child isn’t typical compared to the way you feel your parenting in your upbringing in the way you kind of essentially push who you are onto your child. Not that it’s intentional not that it’s a subconscious or even a conscious effort, our kids are going to pick up on us. And if they’re smart, attentive, familiar with the human paradigm and characteristics of what we show when we’re upset, happy, frustrated, infuriated, exhausted… Then f****** great. And I mean that.
Here’s the thing, it’s a daily, it’s an all day, everyday, you got four hours Monday through Thursday, where you have time enough to either take care of the things you personally want to take care of, or take care of the household things that need to be taking care of, one or the other.
And yeah that fits in one block because it deserves that one block its the truth of the matter.
So in all honesty I’ve gotten just drained. And the MS fatigue, the MS health, the taking care of my son, taking care of school, and the last two years before all of this before I started the years daily blog posting, we’ve lost almost no more than 10 people in our family. I’m just tired.
So I found it coincidental that the lady that we called to help our son happens to be available to help me happens to be available to help some things I think can definitely be mitigated appropriately and safely, and I think I need it and I think in honor of just mental health in my heart it would be smart.
Now the question is this. Do I see that as a coincidence or just a circumstance that happened to work out very well?
Enjoi #0.22
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May your day be forever gentle, sweet, and gracious.
The synchronicity, a causal effect and coincidence…how can we amplify these meanings? The meaning of coincidence that is. I’d love to say I’m an advocate against coincidence but then digging into Jung deeper and deeper through the days…odd moments that have no definitive causal relation, and still, I question my thinking.
Is this a constant for you? The questioning?
What do you say, can you say that you are your best advocate? Or is it more you’re the best advocate for yourself and your worst enemy?
This is something that doesn’t cloud my mind per se, and yet here I am asking the question. And with that comes the question that I originally asked about coincidence. How can we amplify the meaning and actuality to that of coincidence? Truly if you are a believer of coincidence that’s awesome, and I really mean that because let’us… let’s put it on the table.
There is, what, 8.1 billion people on this f****** planet? Give or take a couple 100 million, right?
And to think of causal factors that would create an ideal or perfect set up for a coincidence, but, I feel that’s hopeful, can it be something that we attribute to our understanding in ourselves? And for it to be a perfect development of coincidence, does it lose its being a coincidence? Better yet when you truly, truly weigh in on it, it then brings a thought of a collective conscience, and I think that’s why the idea of coincidence is something that has some completely deny, others completely accept willingly, leaving people like me where I’m going what the f***?
Or is it something on a more scientific platform, needs the direct tie connected to that of the cause, the coincidence, and the person. But then that would call to knowing exactly what every single thing within that coincidence knew. Or for better divulging understood and was aware of The coincidence happening. Making it no longer a coincidence.
Say coincidence again.
I bring this to light and to posting today while editing due to staring up at the ceiling, well my son beside me sleeps his mama on the other side cuddles snuggles and sleeps too. The silence isn’t daunting, there’s not a w**** to it, there’s just a series of thoughts that permeate through everything else that I’m trying to do in my head the planning, the duration of thinking and how certain projects, certain objects will move and fall into place so things can happen the way it’s wanting to happen or the way I’m wanting it to happen.
And I know what I’m saying may come off convoluted but, check this out, this is my f****** head and another reason why I think maybe sharing it online and doing the posts everyday is good. It gives a good collection of someone dealing with MS dealing, the infusions, working though life with a kid who has autism(nonverbal), school, being the house spouse, being the dad, being the husband, and it amounts to what I can put here, but I can detail in what goes through my head, and it keeps me at least on my feet knowing that tomorrow’s another day, and my future is something that I can manage, I just need to figure it out first. Anyway I think I’m signing out I’m exhausted. Have a good day.
Enjoi!
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May the day be gentle, May the night be graceful.
Do you ever have those mornings when you wake up, look to the left, the right, down at your toes, back up to the ceiling, and beg your eyes to find darkness again?
As of late, I have found that I tend to use this as a meditative release. There’s something about the talking, the mic, the editing, the sharing hoping that it’s something relatable, hoping that any reader sees and goes ‘crap I thought I was the only one’…
But here’s the thing multiple sclerosis is a twat. The morning started out great, I had finished my school stuff, had finished the story, I was motivated. So motivated that I ended up wanting to make a home cooked school lunch dinner. Which means handmade breaded gluten free chicken tenders, super-silky, deliciously buttered mashed potatoes, and of course we got to have a veggie so why not corn? Right? So I go to the store, get all the things I need, hustle back home, finish up another art project, a little birthday gift for my wife.
It’s a Tea Hut.
And this great feeling, this motivation and drive that I’m feeling it’s great. I’m very happy that I finished part 2 of Forget-Me-Naught. More than excited that I was actually able to not completely but turn in something that more or less needs to be turned in just for the capstone that I have at the end of the year, and make sure that I was able to run over to the store, pick up everything, and get back to the house in time before my son gets here.
Side note: I don’t have a driver’s license, and I walk everywhere, due to my health this is something that is just a reality not great but whatever.
Now here’s the thing, when you’re diagnosed with multiple sclerosis you’re given this montage of all the things that are going to happen to you depending on life, as most MSers, I’ve noticed everybody has different symptoms, some are relatable, others not so much. One of the things is mobility, this is a most relatable of issues I have found with the app most MSers use, called AboveMS. Walking. How about that? F****** walking, this is simple task, an almost archaic way of getting about, it’s now a trial effort every f****** day. So when I wake up and I’m feeling okay and the morning start getting everybody ready and out the door to school and work, if that hour hour and a half duration, I’m not dealing with bumping anything, tripping, falling, losing feelings or control of legs, I take it as a good one. And for the most part I can continue on through my day, today that’s not the case.
I’m exhausted and I’m very nervous that the exhaustion is going to leak into tomorrow, which has another range of plans set for tomorrow, I pray that the energy stays, that the motivation is somehow hidden inside and only revealed tomorrow morning.
Editing this, it’s not. The next day that is it hell fire on the spine and bones. Being 33 and dealing with those kind of pains, especially knowing a lot of these pains are felt by people in a geriatric stage of their lives, just has me so excited for graying out, fading out, God I’m f****** tired.
So I’ve been kind of tilting the Jung theories, and I do believe in them and I do have faith in them as I feel that they will definitely help me. But when taking care of the mind and body and making sure they’re in sync, dealing with the above mentioned, it creates this odd stew of Life sewage. There’s moments where you want to celebrate but there’s the knowledge of knowing that the celebration may hinder everything after, I have weeds billowing out of my half circle in the front yard, I want to get them all taken out, and I’m going to, but then I have to plan ahead not just for getting the weeds, but for how is that going to affect my body for the next day and the next day in the day after that. These are factors that I hate to address, I guess it’s more of a nuisance and the new ones of knowing the effect action and energy use takes on the body. It’s a toll and it’s a toll that isn’t just $1.25 spare change from the f****** car kind of situation it’s a days worth of energy, a day’s worth of painting, of writing, of school work, house duties and so on. Which calls to making more plans, stretching out things, making sure that everything is lined up so I can make sure I take care of myself, and not bring the anger or irritation or anxiety of doing for others the way I like to do. Because truly, I love taking care of my family, I love cooking a meal getting really into it, setting the table, And when everybody comes to eat, instead of chit chat which I love, they are silent not because they don’t want to talk but because the food is too good to pause. These things bring joy. The same way taking care of my son everyday and being with him everyday brings Joy they’re necessities. It’s the planning, the planning and the arranging, the making sure I’ve got the time. And though on my Memento Mori app I have it set for I think 12 more years of life to be lived, I’m hoping for more, depending on the spinal tap we’ll see if it’s less. Who knows?
It’s life though, one thing that I try to be aware of, everybody’s different, everybody’s life is set for their own path, their own destination, their own journey. And I wish you all well.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May you truly have a beautiful day, gracious and awesome night and may your rest and peace be gentle and forever. Till tomorrow.
Today I’m going to be very quick as a matter of fact, the reason why is I know I have at least two people who are awaiting Forget-Me-Naught Pt. 2, as well as trying to stay consecutive with an ample punctuality in posting it. I did say that I would have it up posted by Sunday / Monday
That said and given that my Sunday as well as every other day has more and more chaos kind of coming our way, I’m finding that my hands are often more busy than I care to admit.
To which I would like to simply state that for anybody who has a child with special needs, family member with special needs, or anybody in their lives with special needs, remember what they may show you, is only the surface of what’s actually going on within. My son nonverbal as he is, has shown a considerable amount of wanting. Wanting a friend, wanting a buddy, wanting his parents, and needing some support in his role. And sadly to my dismay it’s becoming very difficult for him to regulate, enough that he’s been hurting himself hurting his mom and dad, and inflicting his anger on himself and the things around him. It has called for a recollecting of foundation, support, a meeting in resolve to truly help him. So if ever I am late and dropping a post or if ever there is a time where I may be complaining, know that it’s true and the tiredness shared as well as the other things that are going on with life it’s all tied together and it’s more than exhausting.
With that I’m going to be dropping a playlist, it’s a bit of an angry playlist, to which it’s not all that long but I’m pretty sure you can deduce. Hope you don’t consider that rude and I do wish you the best.
Playlist #0.20
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. To those and any that ever come to this page, I do hope it’s known that I am greatly appreciative of the support and the coming back to check out what’s going on. I thank you very much.
Again, Forget-Me-Naught Pt. 2, will be dropping today, Monday, I am editing it in and out while I speak and edit this that I forgot to schedule.
My house sits on the far side of a very busy and bustling road that could and may have been almost main street of our part of the city. And even at 2:00 in the morning, the silence is fleeting. And I don’t sleep, not because I’m tired, not because I’m not tired, but because I have an Alani (energy drink) running through my blood and my heart is pumping who knows how many miles a minute. But, feeling it now, my hand on my chest on my heart, it’s not all that fast actually.
What I do is I sit here and I talk into a mic, reading the words that then are portrayed on the screen. I’m writing forget-me-naught, thinking of Joel, of the detective, of how the conversation would happen. And then I think of Cormac McCarthy, Stephen King’s On Writing…, Vonnegut, and of course Gaiman, and the favorite Bradbury. And then I push them as far away as I can, not because I don’t love their work, not because I wouldn’t mind their opinion, because I really really would, because I need to find faith in myself. I need to start trusting myself. And knowing whatever I do create and bring to this source, that I’m bringing it. With an amount of gusto that at least shares genuine aspects to who and what I truly am. I don’t think it’s fair for any of us to find faith in people and learn of examples that are led by those, to then find out that they were monsters and continuing to be monsters, knowing they were monsters.
I don’t know, maybe the statement is egregious but I’d rather find faith in someone who can be accountable for themselves and the actions that they do, regardless of anything outside of themselves. But then like Seneca and Aurelius I think of a hodgepodge quote, stating that if ourselves are offended by someone and feel like toting that blame in that anger of theirs or of them to others before doing so search within to see why what is it in ourselves that have us affected by these characters. I’ll go through my listed quotes and try to do a posting on the direct one that I’m referencing to later on.
I don’t know there’s a lot on my mind and I still have lots to do. So with that I bid adieu.
Playlist #0.19. Enjoi.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May the day and night be graceful as it is bountiful. Thank you for the support and following.
Just one of those days trying to keep my head on my shoulders, keep my health up, and stop being negative. That is something that I realized it’s so easy to grasp, negativity, that is.
I’ll do everything I cannot to bring politics on to this site. Not something I want to step into or mitigate through the fire and brimstone that is politics. It’s just not something I like to focus on. My aim, as I’ve stated is really just trying to better myself as well as share what that betterment is aiding to, whether it be character, whether it be morality, ethical value, or the introspective of being appreciative for ourselves, of ourselves.
I’m tired, I’ve been tired, and with that being said I am going to be clocking out, I’ve got a lot of school to focus on that I need. Which I will address in trying to bring something of value to the page. School has been a very big thing for me especially lately, regardless of the health it definitely helps me build up a foundation for myself, especially leaning towards the future, I am more than elated that I am in my last year. I’m very very proud of that and I am really hoping I can give myself a good shockabuku to help me realign and bringing more focus to school. However that said I’m not going to be not doing this I just really really need to get some things about hawthorne, winthrop, American literature and how it changed from the making of 13 colonies and on, I really need to focus on that right now so…
Signing out.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night you beautiful souls may you rest well, wake better than before and have a great day.
Again lots of school, lots of editing and part 2 of Forget-Me-Naught, I will be back I just really need to put my focus on myself for myself for my future in education.
The beauty of Jung’s concepts for the Five Pillars is contemporary, nearly fashionable in the respects of how this philosophy can be practiced, and how its focus is to the whole of each individual.
I, apparently got excited, and knowing the bit I’m familiar with of Jung’s Five Pillars I just jumped in and started focusing on the first pillar. This is all fine and dandy, if I wasn’t a student, wasn’t more entrenched in the totality of this concept, as I do believe it is a formidable way of building oneself.
Now that said and given life is to purpose, is to breathe, is to life, is to continue and on…What is the purpose of this site? Well, it is to affect one, maybe more, but if one can be helped, touched, moved, then the purpose is true.
Yes, I started this wanting to do the vlogging, with cooking and odd acting bits, op-ed discussions recorded and posted, bits of personal life with subjective narratives throughout, but life has its way in guiding doesn’t it, regardless of fate, dualism, choice, or philosophy, life has a funny way of bringing people to our door, our minds, and hearts in such a way that I’d be a fool not to question my reality. Or at the least pull back the layers to see where the bridge and tether of each person, icon, and talisman that create what we’ve become and are becoming to better understand.
But, let’s start with this. What is beautiful about Jung’s concepts is the duality of becoming or creating each pillar through our manifesting who we are through accepting that of the darkness we each carry and the light that brings a valued balance to us each individually.
There is this underlying in becoming aware of both aspects, both sides to the yin and yang of oneself. I find it profound that Jung aimed in being accountable for that, of the darkness within and how there’s a nurturing of that in knowing it’s there. The beauty of what separates Jung’s Pillars and the other philosophies is a call to being present of that awareness. Knowing we each have good days and bad with the occasional grey day hanging over us. But the power is knowing that we each carry a negative with us and that can’t always be hidden or ignored. Better yet it is in us to react not in a recoiling of that darkness within us, but to embrace it and use the power of that darkness as a fuel to better the light. The very addressing and knowing this I feel benefits the heart and knowing life isn’t always perfect, and rarely is, but us knowing ourselves and how we react to the adverse changes show that strength and show the character in us that brings a shining toward a collected and weighed advantage that can better us, you, and all included.
All that said, the goal and intention is, yes, to share art, to share stories, but to also share a lived perspective in aiming to be the best of ourselves. With practicing in using philosophical stances with Jung’s Analytical Theory and Stoicism, I’m personally excited as I feel it will benefit and I hope I do well grasping the lessons, sharing the findings, and the collective for being our best.
As to that, I do hope you all the best I will be signing out, hope you’re excited for part two of Forget-Me-Naught.
Playlist #0.18 Enjoi!
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May the night the morning and the day be graceful, effortless, and beautiful. I do truly mean that and I hope you carry that to the next person you talk to. Life is too short don’t forget.
Chimney frogging Christmas! My dearest apologies. I don’t know if it’s the MS that’s bad or I was just not paying attention when I was posting things earlier. I do apologize, though as I did edit and revise.
However, it’s still embarrassing, especially in the last couple weeks actually. Though I try to hold a steady front in being a-okay, but I’m missing pieces. There are bits of these sections within wanting to do the plans, wanting to finish through and oddly it doesn’t happen. I just kind of freeze up and go to doing something else forgetting about everything else that I had planned. And of course, not taking to the passion-planner or really anything, just kind of losing track in it all and damn it f****** sucks.
And that I think is the biggest thing that I need to keep in mind, if I push too much and pile on too much, all at once there’s this shaking of it, like a quick whip at a sheet, those thoughts and plans scattered to find a place it drifts to, but it’s in disarray.
It’s called brain fog. And for us MSers, it’s a double-edged blade.
For anyone who does have MS, that is multiple sclerosis any of the degrees of MS, or the myriad of many other neurodegenerative diseases, there are a few things that we all share. One that I found that I don’t know where all aspects it affects, but my grandfather has Parkinson’s and the MS but I’m seeing this very prevalent nuisance called brain fog, and when it trickles in it’s like having a frothing whisk in your brain.
And sadly, it’s different for everybody, it’s not something that I can share and say this is how it is for everybody, this is what’s going to happen, or mine is worse, others are better. It is a factor though that due to how it affects the brain, the brain fog, it affects more, it affects the liveliness and the legs, it affects the reaction time, it affects the duration of motivation, wanting, doing anything active, the duration of any of those actions are limited at best and it creates these driving for achieving pillar one of Jung’s, a salted, poisonous thorn that I’d like to remove.
Anyhow I’m signing out tonight I will be back tomorrow, I’ve got editing to do for Forget-Me-Naught Pt. 2, thinking about maybe doing an art aspect to the whole since I have been working on this for years, we’ll see.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May you have a beautiful and gentle day, May the morning whisk you on gracefully, and the night comes to you effortlessly and in a pleasing manner. Stay safe and I’ll see you tomorrow, thank you.
So in the line of Jung’s first pillar; health and wellness, there’s a call for oneself to be present and aware. And I feel that a lot of people who call for meditation, call for balance, yoga, hell even just a spiritual investigation into oneself calls for tying a tether to the current situation. And though I can’t remember the person’s name on Master class talking about meditation, from what I remember there was this intentional relief that the speaker gave reminding us, reminding us that it’s okay to drift off through meditation or what have you, whatever it is that you’re using to meditate.
Which also, again I don’t have the Master Class anymore, and I forgot the name of the meditation instructor that was in the courses. And my memory is s*** I am so sorry. But one of my favorite things that this gentleman made sure to share, was that never ever is our mind empty, and it’s okay. To empty our mind is to shut down. At least that’s what I remember from the lessons.
But thinking about it, looking at my own life, looking at hell even my wife’s life, my mind is constantly reeling, not in a negative position mind you, simply just thinking, it’s not something that you can just siphon off into the distance where you can’t be aware of it. I guess you can if you don’t want to be aware, but to me I find out laughable. Life is too f****** beautiful and too precious for us to go by plugging ourselves in every minute of the day.
So anyhow Tuesday, a day that called for a lot of cooking, a lot of prepping, and a lot of planning. To which then opened up into a bit of a trip to the mall with the kids, and during all of it I made sure to be aware of the present. Making sure to hear my son chitter, or his belting screen, here are the laughter of my daughter and her buddy beside her, laughing maniacally, talking s*** about friends, and being presently cognizant of the Mrs driving and everything else going around, realizing to clear the mind, I don’t know if that’s something I’d ever want. I liked being able to grasp that earlier today. I like being able to go to the store with everything on my mind knowing I needed to do this, I need to do that, I need to talk to my professor, I need to go and finish the report, there’s so many other things I need to do, but at the same time there’s this call to be present in the moment because you may not be able to have an opportunity to go and make enchiladas again.
And that that’s what I was making, enchiladas, gluten-free enchiladas on top of that and everything was homemade, but the thing is there was something about being present, and having my hands and mind and feet busy, though all of it hurt, there’s something reveling to be had in the joys of just being alive. And that’s something just through the first pillar which, guaranteed I’m nowhere near yet getting into the deepness of it, it seems that to be aware, and to be appreciative of the everyday monotony is what brings that simple happiness. And that’s the thing does the happiness need to be overwhelming, does it need to be coded in Gold adorned and glitter with a red carpet rolled out for us? Or can we really just find happiness and doing the little things?
These are just thoughts that come through, all the time most of the time, and I like to share that journey of coming to the conclusion, coming to an understanding, or just a discovery on my own.
But I will call to all that do make a point to read or come back and like or follow. Consider the little things in life, and be present and knowing that those little things become that foundation for the bigger things of life. It seems that in finding a grasp on the present, being able to enjoy those little bits of happiness, help happiness to become so much easier in grasping throughout the day, and for that, throughout life.
Enjoi Playlist #0.17
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night you wonderful supportive people. I do appreciate the coming back, and the support.
Now please please if you would share, follow, and like.
Originally, I had thought that maybe the health and mental wellness for pillar one of Carl Jung’s would take approximately a week. However I didn’t connect the totality of being the stay-at-home dad about 24/7, school, which I totally bombed the report I should have done, and the actual health of my friend John whose memories we’ve been editing and writing together. It’s a lot, and there are times where I think it’s not because I take into account the time where I relax a little bit, whether it’s watching a show with my wife, going outside to play with the dogs and my son, reading, art, writing the blog even, to an extent I connect it to an extracurricular activity. The thing is it’s so much more than that isn’t it? Taking the time, being cognizant of taking that time to be with my son, to be with my wife, to build up the relationship with the dogs, especially Lobo Blanco, that camaraderie is needed. And though it is the parts of my life that are more than incessant as in they are right there all the time, not counting of course my wife the teacher who’s busy all times. Taking care of that a family and the connections that are maintained and strong, they, in tow with staying on top of it, being conscientious of being a part of everybody else that you’re involved with, it genuinely does feel good. Shouldn’t it feel good?
There are aspects to the questions asked above that do have to do with the five pillars especially when considering the ties to friendship, family, a resilience within ourselves that are tied to the aspects outside of the home that we each carry with us wherever we go. And of course we will get there but I didn’t think about how very prevalent and quite honestly absolutely obvious that bodily health and mental health both need to be paired together and of course with that said, there needs to be a cognizant attribution to how we acquire this knowledge and continue with it and taking care of our health both for our body and our mind.
That said, Google’s Balance does help, however I don’t go to it enough, or use it consecutively throughout the myriad of many many weeks that have flown by to say that Google’s Balance is variable that can actually be counted as a stone to be used. It is a great variable to see if it can be used for you, when I plug in with my headphones, what I want to hear is music, or if I’m watching a show what’s to pair with that show. Now if I want a mental health coaching and massaging to an ego That should be tamed and the variables that make me I don’t know hard to deal with or make me just the character to be ?? It leaves me with a I don’t know. But with that being mentioned I do know that Google’s balance does help and has helped, it does slow my rate down it does have me think within and watch and question my actions and why is this what upsets me, why is this and the words that were told or directed towards me, why is that affecting me so? And that there is why I’m talking today, I feel that for everyone, the reader, not reader, YouTube streamer, the many that do the Doom scrolling every day, those that are watching the today show tomorrow morning, the people that have the CNN News ticker on the screen all day everyday with the monotonous tone of news report after news report after news report, for everyone, and yes even you. I feel that it is in us, ourselves and in knowing the self that drives you, me, us forward and has us all looking up. It’s the awareness that we can be better, and to sweeten that pot the wanting to be better, wanting to be something that is an adversary no matter what darkness is faced to you and yours. It’s being able to acquire the knowledge, and acquire the resilience to know the difference from the actions before that defeated you and the actions in the future that will better you and all that you touch. To which is why I think the first pillar is the biggest one that needs to be focused on. That mental health is one of the biggest things that truly truly needs to be completely have a responsibility for. But of course this is just my thoughts, and this is my thinking with everything else going on in my life but still it’s mine, or is it, is it Jung? Is it the reading or a collection of thought that in the collective accrued a variable that matched a feeling within?
But that’s it isn’t it? Even with Carl Jung there is that kind of call to trusting yourself, trusting your gut, that intuition, and knowing there’s more or that the substantive evidence that you having in your hand can be used to better everything you do from here on out. But then again I come from a view of light, I know the world is shrouded in darkness, at least I’m aware that s*** is hitting the fan all around us, that chaos is at the door half the time, and the thing that has me gripped, having me stand here resolute not moving, posting everyday, is knowing life is too damn short and too damn beautiful to not give a f***. I do apologize for my frankness to anybody reading and finding this rude. This is an op-ed piece. Most if not all of what I write in my daily Post is just that. Because that’s life and it comes with feelings and he comes with her reaction and may our action is to share the feelings the intention thought perceived and what I think could be better. Doesn’t mean I’m right it doesn’t mean I’m wrong, it simply means I have an opinion like an a****** which everybody has and mostly everybody stinks. At least I haven’t met somebody with an a****** that smells like roses, you?
Anyhow I do apologize for the curt addressing, I am also editing ‘Forget-Me-Naught REDUX Pt. 1’ and trying to get that dropped shortly after I post this so forgive me. I do wish you well and do hope you come back to read a story I’ve been working on for a long time this is probably edition 82, personally I think it may work and I’m really hoping for an opinion from any of the readers that come by all means please share. And I hope you love the music as always.
Playlist #0.15 – Enjoi
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night to all of you, to every person, whether you’re reading this or not, whether you give a crap or not, I wish you well and I hope you have a wonderful night and a wonderful morning with the day that’s graceful and pleasant. Till tomorrow.
I am going to be making a segway today as I’m just realizing a big part of me and the things that aid, fuel, inspire, and move me are cinematic explorations and I’ve never shared this. I love the riveting narratives, or phenomenal character dynamics, the scripts that make palms sweat, and the nuances to the allegories that bring fiction barring down hard on reality with a peculiar meta relevance.
The thing is though, like my music tastes, my movie and TV/streaming interests stretch through from silent films, to the Hitchcockian and Sterling Craze of the 50s and 60s. Growing up on OG Trek repeats, Matlock, Perry Mason, and Unsolved Mysteries with Robert Stack…because I was with my grandparents a lot growing up. Especially my Granny. But then on the home front growing up, religion was a force in the home bringing a lot of rules and siphoning off a large collection of things I never watched including things like Ace Ventura (never seen, and likely won’t).
I remember the biggest change though, it was 1999, 2000 when we were living in Washington, Marysville. I remember the VHS in the bookcases of that house with titles like Swingers, titles like Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Dark City, and 12 Monkeys, The Matrix, in the myriad of others that looking back at it now, those are the titles I can remember, those are the ones that I knew were the adult only. Looking back at it it’s laughable but not why I’m here today to talk.
The more freedom I met growing up, the more adventurous with film I became appreciating the B films available at Walmart and the wide array available at the rental store or my Grandma’s well organized VHS library found throughout her house.
The thing is I found that I loved this style of story telling and truly started appreciating movies, shows, and shorts. Now you may be asking what this has to do with Carl Jung and the Five Pillars, and you know what? The fact is that when it comes to the mental health and balance, I think that’s where we really need to go on that introspective search and find the things that truly help us calm down aside from meditation or using balance with Google. I think it’s best that we kind of create a hybrid adjustment to how we balance and soothe ourselves in a conscientious manner. For me it’s been film and even the silver screen, I do appreciate TV, as a matter of fact I’ve been a massive fan of Serenity, Hannibal,Mentalist, Sherlock Holmes, and the likes of many many a TV show. As of late I’ve been getting into Canadian comedy and have heavily relied on the humor of the British persuasion because well from what my wife says I’m not Mexican. So why not roll with the punches, I guess. Sorry, I digress, that’ll be a discussion for another day.
Playlist #0.14, * Dilruba remix is a great addition for cleaning, especially those damn finicky dishes and the laundry monster
C’est la vie
Good night and good morning I do Cherish having capability honor of being able to provide whatever it is I do, and even I think I’m trying to figure out that well also going through life and realizing being a stay-at-home parent especially the kind of sales I want I mean a lot more involved and trying to adjust that is taking some time so I do apologize. And if she was a gentle day against the night and gentle sleep hours of darkness.
I’ve found that I do love me some british comedy like Black Books, Ghosts, Fawlty Towers, and The IT Crowd. However I appreciate the American replicants like that of The Office and Ghosts, but that’s where that kind of halts as other remakes have been too closely similar to the original UK versions that it leaves the viewer nearly jaded.
But why I’m here today is due to the Paramount’s Ghosts and the affect Hetty’s story had on me. Rebecca Wisocky is the beloved actress that exemplifies the evolving of her character.
As a viewer there’s this hanging knowledge that Flower, the aloof hippie, is stuck in a well on the property. Sadly Thors lamenting, still vying for his lost love leaves her discovery for the other ghosts til the fifth episode of season three. After some discussions and missed words help them realize Flower never got sucked off and very much is there. It’s an exciting time as we see the group finally being reunited, but with another problem already at the front. Ghosts and holes are bad.
The rules for walls and floors are perplexing for the ghosts, leaving the daunting of getting out of the well a task to be hurried. Especially after finding out Sam and Jay, the living, have paid their contractor, Mark to fill the well with concrete. This calls for quick action which brings to light the true reason Hetty passed away and is still stuck on the property. Originally Hetty often remarks about morphine and coke, drugs that were popular in use of her time, alluding to an overdose even saying how too much Morphine was the cause of her passing.
But it wasn’t. We’re led to this discovery that Hetty felt trapped due to actions created with illegal child labor laws, a son that she was trying to save, and trying to find freedom within a cage that had no exit, least that she couldn’t see.
Hetty decided to use a rope. There was a triggering to the discovery for me, not in a drastic and debilitating manner at all, I was just deeply moved by that feeling trapped, feeling that there’s no way to light, no friends, no avenue and upon realizing the action of suicide this haunting reality that Hetty would likely never get sucked off.
Anyhow this is a first in what may become more of sharing of scenes and impactful moments on the screen for viewers. We’ll see.
I’m running out of time and gave up editing as I have had a busy last couple days.
But looking at The First Pillar: and the Mental health, I feel that maybe that’s the addition that’s needed. We’re to find those aspects in the simplicity of life, the nuance that drives the story beneath what’s originally seen. It’s us to see life and find the light of our perception right?
Playlist #0.13
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. Good morning and good night you lovely and supportive viewers. Thank you. Til tomorrow.8
Mental health is definitely a big deal and I respect those that understand this and know that it takes wisdom and a conscientious effort in making sure we each respect that benefit of willpower to making sure that we are better for ourselves.
Sadly I don’t know if it’s the stresses of life, marriage the wantings of life love and the pursuit of happiness, the consistent and persistent my gosh journey for happiness and quality within ourselves, I wish I knew, truly I wish it was something that I can fully understand but with the few books I’ve read in the handful of philosophies I found myself to lean towards or agree with it still seems that the year 2024 most of us are trying to figure it out still most theories are continuing in trying to find a grasp.
But it seems that with the incessant and clear knowledge that change is a complete relevant matter, as it is one of the constants, that is, when it comes to our emotions; our well-being, the routine, the getting familiar. When that changes, depending on who you are and how your upbringing, whether society melded you or nurturing hands did, the manifestation of oneself within the matter of change, is all going to depict a different story. Meaning: every time we’re faced with that adversity of life-changing, say a divorce, the death of a family member, the loss of the family dog that takes months, months, and months to find but still the search goes on. It calls for an adapting, a growing, but to say you’re done learning and to say you’re done growing is only and not being able to see the avenues where you can grow or learn.
Personally, my head space…needs some love, a tending to the trimmings within, but, it also ties to my overall health where there are blots of space in my brain that have died. Hmmm? I stick with it I guess right? We find the issues we can and rely on the ability of our minds to see the mistakes repeated and then make an effort to change, to avoid the routines that have mucked up the path of each.
I use Memento Mori, Balance, and maintain my artistic continuing with writing, poetry, and art.
Speaking of…hope this is enjoyed.
Untitled – M. R. Vega, Caran D’ache NEOCOLOR II AQUARELLE
I guess that’s what it is when life is life, you see points of action, or a need to address things to be taken care of and we react. Whether that reaction comes with a positivity or that of the negative I think it’s on each of us. Not only that it calls to being accountable and not blaming everything else in your world for the things that are affecting or creating this beguiling in life. And I know I say that with a myriad of complaints or yapping about struggles but that’s also what I’ve been kind of addressing just fact that there’s such a difficulty to maintaining and continuing on one path. Anyhow this is certainly a late edit and drop I thank you very much.
C’est La Vie
I truly appreciate you, just for coming and glancing even for a moment. And to everyone I do wish a very wonderful morning and blessed good night. And to those a good night and a graceful morning to come.
As discussed this week I’m focusing on finding a decent routine for Jung’s First Pillar, aiming to create a healthy mind-space and to aid my body to be in sync with one another, and find that equilibrium to always be able to catch myself.
Like I said the biggest aspect that calls for managing is time and consistency with my health. If I push too hard, I’ll be out for days, too exhausted and fatigued to do enough for being a better self. But I’ve gained some traction and am feeling confident.
Now, I’ve found some good methods to stay active and maintain my agility, I’m still figuring out what’s too much and what’s going to work and that’s great, but let’s focus on the big thing. The mind.
I prefer the idea of self actualization which I know pairs more with Maslow’s hierarchy…but that’s for another time. I do feel that they tie together though, both Maslow’s and Jung’s philosophy aim for happiness,at least a variation of that. Sorry, I digress.
I want my mind to be whole, to be connected from one hemisphere to the next, to not be so convoluted and discombobulated as I feel most days, this is a need that calls for training.
Even through PT (physical therapy) for the MS there’s a reminding that we need to communicate with the whole of our mind and the appendages we rely on, I try, but then… Ever see UP and the goofy Labrador Dug?
That’s what I’ve found I struggle with internally when trying to slow and meditate for the sake of my mind. I’ve restored to using Google’s Balance. I don’t use it often enough but when I do, I’m reminded to write, to draw, and sketch, to paint, to sing, and dance like my heart wants. Through meditation, like reading I’m reminded I’m more than a dad and a husband that I am myself and I pay to that acknowledgement by allowing myself to enjoy what I create.
Today I share some poetry, tomorrow art, and within the week Joel and his wife in Forget-Me-Naught, Detective Adams in Stuck, and Mrs. Nogare in a revised ‘A Student and a Question’.
What comes to mind?
Playlist #0.11
Hope you enjoy the poems and the music.
Close
The lamenting and grief, the darkness that undertakes a remorse unseen.
Remorse, remorse, show your recoiling, show an utter rejection to the becoming.
You call to the blight, to the vapid sponge of heart, slay away the wonder, deny the tender.
Nay, slam shut forgiveness, hold your hate, it stokes your fire, let it feed you to your heart’s desire.
Bring damnation, vilify the work, that effort, take me and be done. But be no more, fall to the shadow, fall to the dark, let it be.
Finding Isolation
The quiet alarm, fingers tingle, and voices emit from the hundred screens, the conversations a tit for tat with smiles for laughs.
There’s that music stealing and that constant barking, the haunting reminding that there comes dying. That quiet alarm, grab at the tree, grab at the fog, grab for a darkened bitter to shake the heart awake, bring a cognizant hate for what it can never be. And that it has to be.
Take the steps, take it to own, that conversation unknown, now come to shudder and think how it’d be with no one, some one, some thing other than the shadow it gives, the image a snarl that gleams through the washing of mirrors, of the reflection to that unknown.
Repeat
I stumble, no, I fall to perish alone, I fall to become my own. I stand not knowing my left from right.
Whether I’m coming or going, I wouldn’t know, wrapped within this ouroboros, all for a tomorrow that will never grace us.
History repeats mistakes like the undead, to come again, again, again, again, again.
Striving to commit, aiming for the arrow atop Mount Sinai, only to tumble, and carry over to repeat.
Repeat, again, repeat again. The repetition becomes a coaxing measure that keeps me here, keeps me going like the pinked ears on the screen.
To repeat again.
Up
We don’t look up, do we never take the time to take a glance? Through the night the silence envelops, caresses, and I ask that you tilt your head back to embrace the Moon, let it reverberate through the electric sensation I sense from afar.
I howl with that glow, howl for the scent of your fingers reaching up toward the guiding light, I howl.
My bones ache, the heart it swells and I yearn for you. Can we look up to that Moon, to the light it has etched for the trail ahead? May we look up to feel one another, may we look up to be connected, to feel the electric, the sensations that wrestle with nature? Let us look up together so I may see your heart.
I howl to the moon, to feel you, to breathe in the fading essence of beauty and love, I howl to the moon, to the moon for you. I howl.
To Tell
I’d like to say I’m sorry, that I knew what I was doing, that the cage I put myself in was alabaster and gleaming decorated and comfortable.
I would love to tell you that I’m free, that this cage though translucent has me feeling the surroundings.
I would love to tell you.
That the opaque aire has me reminiscent of ancient time, a memory far stolid and etched within my grain.I
I Would Love to tell.
C’est la vie
Good night, and very much a good morning. Good morning and what a phenomenal night to come. I truly hope the best for anyone that ever breathes, and pray that life is gracious and effortless and making it yours.
Humanity has provided the wondrous and yet absolutely terrifying prospect of artificial intelligence, this I believe and hope a large sum if not most of the population is aware of, and now based off of some studies and documents being dropped recently, everything produced on line from now on doesn’t have a human aspect, at least that’s the worry that is starting to circle around the drinking hole.
I find this laughable, and not in a humorous kind of oh gosh this is so silly kind of manner, we grew up with sci-fi riders like Asimov, Bradbury, Clark, and additions like Twilight Zone and Outer Limits. Every writer mentioned, both of the TV shows mentioned, along with the plethora of fictions written to address exactly what we’re dealing with right now. And for some reason the more worry and fear mentioned through fiction to be petitioned, some jack hole rich a****** or bored jerk felt like adding that reality. Do you ever think about that, when you’re going through your daily routines, do you ever question the reality that you’re in? Then upon looking at everything and realizing oh yeah I read about that when I was a kid, oh yeah that one writer he was terrified about this, that one lady she warned us. Does that ever go through your head?
They do for me, that is those thoughts that I asked about. And it’s funny to think that a couple years ago I was pressed to start up selling NFTs, and was asked to start up with digital art and pop them out to make a large sum of money. I didn’t take up on it too many red flags, too many prospects of losing any money of what little I do or did have so I just focus on school and writing for myself and started with this blog I think I’m now in year two. But why I’m addressing this and why I’m addressing the internet and the dead error that we’re seeming to see through our daily routines, everything is produced through artificial intelligence, at least there is a lot that is mitigated using artificial intelligence. Luckily for anybody who is reading this and cares to go down this far, everything from now on regardless of how s***** the art is or how bad my MS is, I will no longer use artificial intelligence, not even to help give me an idea for art I’ve got plenty of art books and plenty of an imagination so I’m going to do everything I can to make sure that dream dark stories will be a very genuine and very life breathing type of site to visit.
And to cover Monday with the 1st pillar of Jung’s.
As I stated before because of the health issues, I can only go so far and push myself too much, so I’ve been trying to do that today. I realized that I could do both push-ups, and pull-ups, with a good walking, a swift walk after that. But I need a time to recoup. So I feel that I’ll have to dissect the intention with activities and physical intent. Tomorrow I’m going to be hanging up the punching bag so that’s exciting. It’s been too long.
And now the night is long, I need to get this put up and at least set for a scheduled post. I do hope you enjoy the tunes that I add and I mean that with every time I add music to the post I hope the mucus gives a more encompassed focus to who you’re reading and the crazed mess in my head hahahha.
Enjoi Playlist #0.9
C’est la vie
Good night and good morning to all of you, may the day be peaceful, may the night be gentle. Good morning and good night supportive readers, thank you.
We’re here to address the First Pillar of Jungian Philosophy and likely we’ll continue with the first pillar within the journalistic stance for the next week. The primary aim is good health for the body and mind.
Let us start with the body right? Or do I take a Duo project attempt where I focus on both? I guess it’d be more practical right? What I do know is this depending on impact and push I’ll be passed out tomorrow and the next day exhausted so there is a persistent call to be mindful of what is too much.
However food is one thing that I have been maintaining well and effectively, which would be Hellofresh. It certainly brings in a range of different recipes, and a conscientious effort in not going to the fast food menus that are on my phone and our son’s mind often because that kid just loves him some french fries.
I digress, sorry about that. Both EveryPlate and Hello Fresh are great brands, though they are the same company, one offers more order and a bit of a step up in creative palate for the flavours on board, however they both always satisfy. And I can stand by that, even for the pickier of eaters, the food satisfies and delights each time. Now, when you’re looking at benefiting your health account and cooking in aim to provide the appropriate assessments each body needs. Luckily the sites for both Hello Fresh and Every Plate are easily manageable and made to be modified for each cook and home.
C’est la vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. Thank you supporters and readers I wish you a cherished day and pleasant night.
Nosce Te Ipsum
Playlist #0.7
There will be stories coming soon, had to rewrite a character, and an intro for the big one I’ve been planning for years. But this is being kept on a back burner for a reason but we’ll get to that another time as we’re talking Pillars and not writing.
Carl Jung’s Five Pillars, today we are addressing one, the first, and one that will likely be addressed time and again.
Pillar One : Good physical and mentalhealth.
The thought of individuation comes to mind. Adversity is a large topic though too, that hangs over the pillar with wicked barbs awaiting my skin. But I’d like to pivot here due to an article I recently found having to do with my personal health journey.
Which had me go down the rabbit hole of past searches in my history and this took a considerable length of time to find. What I did manage to find was a case if not an honorable absolution to how we with disabilities are to circumvent the trauma and issues that we face on a daily basis, especially having to do with this intimate and personal experience. It is mine.
It is my daughter’s prom night today and through the getting her ready for the night that didn’t end up faring well and all the prep in just being a family and supporting her there were many times where my confusion depicted that of a fool. What and who was saying whatever was coming out of my mouth? And sadly that was only hours ago I can’t recall and these moments worry me. Because they’re like the sentence fragmenting you read here. That’s my mind, it’s in tiny bits of solutions and dictation in living with very little foundation to be seen. And though it’s there, it is lively, but due to those blanked spaces in my brain, most of it is fractured. Like a photo torn and regretted then taped back with minute parts missing. There was a moment where I very much became honest with my child in telling how regretfully fearful I am in doing anything and taking the strides forward not knowing where I’m going. That I’m nearly always finding myself in a position of sensation of whether I’m going or coming and what was done that was wrong.
There’s almost this petrifying to the limbs while moving forward, there’s almost a creeping halt in the mental space that is trying not to let go of what can be considered a tether to being positive and finding that happiness we are forever journeying towards. I told my daughter she has no idea how truly confused and upside down my world is half the time if not more. This is something I can confidently say is a salting to the wounds. When the time is quiet and I have a moment if not longer to collect and outline the plan for success in future is one thing, and on good days can be seen as rather positive, and I love those days. But the older I’m getting (33 now), the harder it’s becoming. I’m finding that I’m putting my cane out in the house it’s visual it’s right there ready I’m finding myself running into things and losing my footing and clamoring to a wall or a couch and gaining my footing again and again and again and then I watch these f****** commercials about the medication I’m taking the infusions, I’m getting and I’m really wanting to talk to them, those people that took this medicine as a beneficial aid, because since I started taking it, it just seems to be getting harder and more difficult.
And yet except for today being late I’ve been pretty on it consecutively. I don’t know if that’s means anything. What I’m trying to do is build up a regime to better my strength, meditate daily using Google’s Balance, and consistently journal for myself outside of what is posted here. It’s finding the lengths and gaps I need to attribute to recoup time after each. The body is needing some more prepping and I think therapy may be on the forefront to bettering my first pillar. Til tomorrow.
C’est la vie
Goodnight and good morning, good morning and good night. I will be better put together tomorrow, stay safe and rest kindly, thank you for the support and repeated coming back
Dream Dark Stories 