I sit there in the red Toyota C-RV. He’s pulling out of the driveway hesitantly and smiling with admiration and a simple joy of camaraderie. I gaze out the window watching him drive, which I always do. He’s 86, and though his driving doesn’t have a mark, he has his moments on the road that have me scratching my scalp. The exit is dignified and we set out to our spot the usual talk emits and we honor each other with a joyous hello and ‘how’s it going?’
Little did I know the news today would be something so unsettling, tears came without warning. He smiles something smuggish and says he has cancer. “Didn’t I tell you?”
No, John. You didn’t tell me. We continue on the road and head to Julian’s, a favorite. I peer out the windows again avoiding eye contact but continue the conversation and ask him what it is?
It’s colon cancer that’s spread to his liver, stomach, and kidneys. I gawk at him with a look saying how can you be alive, but i know the answer. He’s John, he’ll last forever
Here I stand, staring back at all the troubles I started. Times once again where I failed and remise upon the facts that have settled after the dust fell behind my searing soul.
Image 1
I needed you upon reentry and couldn’t find the tether that left me balanced. Instead I suffocated upon the salting fat of the lies I made myself as cushion for my fall. A foolish attempt at embracing my demise.
I languidly drown in this pilfered quicksand not fighting the outcome or needing an audience. I sink, and sink, and sink.
Hi-ho and hello all of you lovely supporters and readers.
How are you? How is your Thursday afternoon? How is life?
I ask this because today I woke up thinking damn, I’m in a lot of pain from doing yard work yesterday, I think I’m gonna take it easy after Pestie spraying.
Okay well I was totally going to talk about getting a job exactly a month after losing the previous one which personally I thought was coincidentally perfect, but let’s talk about Pestie
Pesties. Literally the best DIY pest control provider hands down. Growing up I was a massive fan of orkin given Southern Colorado and we’ve got a lot of roaches here in Pueblo depending on the moisture and well if you’ve got dogs they like the protein. However, using Pesties the last two years, has kept my house and domain critter free, ant-free, any little creepy crawly kind of bugger is no more and it makes life fantastic. Personally what I think is the coolest thing about this company, is the simple fact that they specially curate the cocktail that is given for the spray. So if you live in Wisconsin or wherever else in the US, Pestie curates the ingredients for your location and the problem critters that are at that location. I assure you based on personal trial and success it works and it works very very well. Another cherry on top of that is that if you end up finding critters in the household after spraying they will happily adjust and pay it back with an additional bag and no extra cost.
I just wanted to cover something that I find is a great product, so by all means do check out Pestie.
To any of you readers and all of your readers I really do hope that you guys find that Pestie is as awesome as I’m making it sound because it really is. Just praising a good product and business
Life, it’s an odd one, more and more I’m realizing talking is unneeded, communicating within my home b serves little purpose as of late and…I’m trying to balance that and my typical routines and how I go about my living with siphoning off the use of tongue and lip is…trying.
So says Life.
C’est la vie
Goodnight and good morning, good morning and goodnight to you all, thank you for the support, the reading, and I hope to see you coming again. Have a lovely one to all.
It’s almost the end of spring break. And it has been a rather joyous and relaxing week. Got to find out that my son likes knocking down the clown at Pizza ranch, really enjoys the penguins at the zoo, and loves going on little tiny grocery trips by simply grabbing a Walmart canvas bag with a smile.
And as a parent, it is one of the most exciting things to be able to watch. And honestly it’s one of the most rewarding, regardless of the autism and whatever other crap we were told were going to be issues, to see my son be able to understand what he’s doing is wrong and apologize in the ways he does melts my heart. And I’ve come to find that the few things that I wanted in my life ever since I could remember, I’ve managed to keep.
Not being funny, but real talk. Three of the biggest things I wanted in my life were One: to be a husband, Two: be a dad, and Three: to be a writer. And though I fail at a lot of things in my life, I feel that I have finally started towards my path and solely the path of that I made sure would eventually find me. Has stated previously, not a fatalist, but god damn is it freaking easy to see things line up when they do line up.
I’m grateful, I’m grateful to be able to be here and write to you the reader, I’m grateful to be alive and breathe in the chilled air, and I am more than grateful to be able to rest in a peaceful home where my little guy and my wife are. I am grateful. And with that as it is Friday turning into Saturday morning I will say goodbye for today.
C’est la vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. Thank you very much reader, readers, your support is more then appreciated and I truly wish you Joy and peace.
I’ve been trying to juggle a few things together and hopefully, within the month, the site will be better curated for its purpose, but regardless I wanted to share a touch of self with power of purpose and spirit.
Made using Canva
I feel it pairs well with the phrase ‘keep it simple stupid’, the egregious it readily and very concisely addresses to simply keep it simple and yes redundant simply simple. Why not, am I right? Even thinking about the 80/20 that I’ve been talking about the last couple days, do I make it a big deal do I Fester on it, do I let it stew, or do I simply embrace the bit of time that I get to have with my wife as a married couple and be elated that I get to share my days with her outside of that 80/20, within that 80/20, and around that 80/20.
Side note it was 80% leave me alone and stay out of my hair 20% be available when I want you.
But again do we dig into the reasons why life is, and though this is a interesting circumstance and definitely a philosophical path, how much are we going to let it upset us? How much are we going to let it affect our choices and the steps we make? I’m still very much married, I still go to bed with my wife, keeping it simple is not struggling to get more when in all reality there is a malleable contentment, I am happy, and I like, no, I love the life I have. So why not keep it simple and with that does the simplicity bring us sophistication? It does, because it becomes something familiar and it becomes something nonchalant, organic, introspective, and enigmatic that flows through us like breathing, like wiping how’s your going to the restroom, it’s not that it’s mundane but practiced bringing that familiarity that knowledge and comfort. So that’s where my thoughts are maybe I had a Segway or two to which I digress. But I will share with you this a piece that will be popping up is something sincere and organic or something more personal. I hope you enjoy.
Tulips in the Dust by: M. R. Vega
C’est la vie
Goodnight and good morning, good morning and good night to all of you supportive readers, please do share, like, and follow, more to produce and be shared.
I may have underestimated the length in how long a closet organizer would take. Good God damn I definitely underestimated. Of course counting the feeding the dogs, playing with them, and getting them back into the house, along with the putting together the closet set would’ve likely taken me less time. But that’s more of an obvious statement than anything else.
That was a slow and chaotic evaluation of what I thought I could do and what I didn’t do at all. Yes I did the folding yes I did the dishes yes I did the setting up the closet organizer which is actually rather cool it takes up a lot more space than I had envisioned obviously never judge a picture for what it is.
I’m also find myself at a curious point. To which I will try to elaborate more on tomorrow. I’ll give a wrap up of how the six went how my 7th went and what I’m looking forward to.
To give you going to sleep may you rest easy to those of you waking may it be blissful and gentle. And for those of you waking may your night to come be blissful and more peaceful than you had hoped.
Dream Dark Stories 