Tag: questions

  • Questions

    I question life and its complexity, I ponder the will of man and how we choose to go forward, though there’s no direction without warning.

    I gaze toward the sky with a peering eye for salvation. That only comes from within, yet I grasp at the imaginable, the dreaming mind that falters at a whisper.

    There’s a wind at my back, pushing, pushing, agonizingly pushing me toward a precipice unknown. I hesitate for just a moment and decide to let it lead toward my destiny. Will I falter? Will I fail? Will I fall?

    Do you gaze onward, looking for brighter pastures? Does it bring a flutter to the heart, a speed to the feet?

    There’s an ancient song in the air, something somber yet sweet cascades over the howling winds and takes hold of the spirit, takes hold of life, takes hold of the breath.

    I wonder through the years, taking stock of my misfortunes and grateful offerings, taking heed of the warnings I hadn’t seen before, and shaking my head at so many mistakes.

    Do you gaze at the moon? Do wonder like me what could have been and isn’t?

    I fixate on tragedy, the comedy of it all, and finally understand Shakespeare. There is never sweetness without the sour.

    My mind like a sieve, showers many a thought being left for dead, struggling behind me, gasping for air like a dying fish rescued from drowning.


    C’est La Vie

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day Two Hundred & Twenty-Two, August 9th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Like Sophocles I try to come with the riddles that flummox my spirits. This said, sorry for the incoherent riddling that I find myself transfixed by. Life is a cumbersome and confusing pulse that seems to pump and flow when it needs…or wants.

    I say this because I am tired. I am tired of the entrapment of conversation that was initially intended to immediately confuse. Or I find myself stupified with the questioning of what is known.

    And I wonder does she feel trapped. And then she makes comments about being complacent, comments like: “we’ve been together for this long”or “we’re already here”.

    I don’t think she wants it, I think, to be honest, that there’s the knowledge and knowing of affordability or lack there of that makes it where there’s no way and I’m sorry for her because I want her to be happy and I don’t think I bring her the joy she imagined would be there at all.

    I find myself just wanting to bring a happiness to her that doesn’t involve the above mentioned situations. I’d like for there to be a transcending of the anguish that is rectified some way to a resolve that has us better than a complacency of what this is.

    But there I digress because I know in doing this it’s a taking of action on both parts. I’m going to go to therapy. I’m going to continue taking care of myself. And there’s really not much else I can do other than what I’ve been trying to do. I feel that getting the puppy was a good idea that solidified a truth I don’t want to address. So maybe it was a bad idea I don’t know but I adore the puppy and I adore seeing the smile that she has with the puppy.  I don’t know I have some figuring out to do I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow.

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I thank you for your support, I thank you for coming to the page again and again. Thank you for being awesome and being you.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day One Hundred & Ninety-Five, July 13th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    There’s a film that’s always made an impression, as a matter of fact, I guess it’s the director. Mr. Darren Aranofsky.

    The Fountain though is what I’m referring to in whole. Ever seen? It’s an amazing film…that stirred something inside, I guess I’d call it self-decorating or self-mutilation.

    Anyhow the main character, played by Hugh Jackman is seen piercing his finger with quill and ink. The camera pans back and we see the finger is decorated with a tattooed ring…it resonated for me. 

    Enough that I find myself awaiting, hesitating, at turning on the newly bought tattoo gun to do the same, but more a band. A band or a few on the arm…I sigh with hesitations, as I want the tattoo and to do it by myself, but then I have to be wise and know what this to me. Do I just want it or is each for a period of life that I have lived through? The questions…hmm… we’ll see.

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night.

    I thank you for coming time and again to show support and read the thoughts of an angry MSer.

    I do apologize for not broadcasting art as of late…the body hurts and I just got a canvas reup yesterday. I hope to bring some painting your way in days maybe hours, we’ll see. Again thank you and may your day be bliss the night be gracious and yourself stay awesome and beautiful.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day One Hundred & Ninety-Two, July 10th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    ENJOI!!!

    Whoa, ever take to looking back, looking at the steps made before, statements made promises promised? Been wanting to do the art in the poetry as well as really anything of the sort of Art that I produce here, I’ve been wanting to do that everyday. But I then take to being here, being present being in the moment with my wife and my son and our puppies and life I really really enjoying my creative writing class I am doing it’s an elective but still it’s something that I’m massively pumped for and I am sorry but at the same time I’m not though, because, well, I like where I’m at. I feel safe where this is.

    It’s like the prompt the other day asking about vacation. My best vacations aren’t ever a planned and intended one, it’s the moments I enjoy in that moment with the ones I Love. And I hope the memory resonates still and always.

    This is a worry, but I digress, that’s another conversation for another time.

    I’m tired and though I should be wise and keep my lips shut, I’ve decided I’m not going to do that anymore. If I have a question I’m going to ask a question regardless about painful it may be, regardless of what it may allude to, or give light to. I’m tired and I don’t know about you but doesn’t it get old? Doesn’t the b******* language that more curtails the actual situation and manages to even avoid the nuance so there’s no implication of what’s actually happening, you end up having an assumption, you have anger, and then you’re just done.

    Mind you the assumption isn’t always there however there are times when it’s hard not to assume because why else not? Why wouldn’t I go to that thought? Why wouldn’t I assume what could be a possibility in the situation where the question lies?

    Questions, so many questions, life is a question though isn’t it? Laughter so much LOL hahaha. Good night all.

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night.

    May the day be blessed and the night a wonderful splendor of dream and wild bliss

    Thank you for the repeated likes and coming to the site. Thank you for the support, and thank you for being you.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day One Hundred & Fifty, May 29th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    I had a tift with my spouse, and since I started a new regiment of medications and started seeing a mental health professional I’m feeling steady, I’m feeling reassured, and I have a sense of foundation when I speak as of late. Doesn’t mean I’m fully put together or anything but my arguments are sound, for the most part and they are not tied to an emotional sense, they’re tied to logic and I think this is a good thing. However, I’m finding that this relationship is something that calls for a tentative handling. My patience needs to be shown, my voice limited, and still the 80/20 is applied. 😮‍💨

    I shared this playlist beneath with a family member and though I understood their point, they said there’s something very sad about the music. I don’t know when I feel like a lot of my writing kind of depicts a good story of somebody that is a bit broken, struggling for grasping love and trying to find a good balance of finding myself while also making sure that I apply being there for her and my son. I’m tired, and I have my infusion tomorrow.

    I truly hope you enjoy the music. Again this is very much something special and dear to me these are very personal songs that I listen to casually and regularly

    C’est La Vie

    Enjoi, these are the personal ones, the close to the heart ones, I hope you enjoy, truly.  Have a beautiful day, stay safe, stay sound.

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May your life tonight go on into the bliss of the night, the coming day and wondrous future for you and yours.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day One Hundred & Forty-Eight, May 27th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    It’s an arts day.

    Have you ever thought of how the simple act of assuming, traps that of the person you’re assuming is doing, or acting, or feeling, in assuming you’re essentially transferring that person to that of yourself?

    A Man  by: M. R. Vega (in production, acrylic and liquid-poly-clay)

    I know it’s a dizzying question, but think about it. If we are to assume that someone is thinking one thing when it all actuality they’re thinking of the rock that they kicked that fell into the gutter last night, what is it we’re doing when we assume? Are we leaving a hypothetical where there is nothing of actuality? Are we placing the answer that isn’t definitive solely because it’s what we want? And in assuming aren’t we actually trapping the person outside of the conversation therefore having the conversation with ourselves getting mad at ourselves for the idea that brought on the assumption? Again I know, dizzying. I’m not trying to create confusion, or a dizzying spell. It’s a simple factor of questioning. The who, the what, the why, the where, the how? Where are all the questions?

    A Man. By: M. R. Vega (liquid-poly-clay and mica)

    I’m not trying to create confusion, or a dizzying spell. It’s a simple factor of questioning. The who, the what, the why, the where, the how? Where are all the questions?

    The questions I ask, these are legitimate, for the fact that we’re alive, we have the benefit of conversation and the reward of listening and talking. They’re reasonable, these questions that is, because, well, in all actuality, that’s life. We assume, the same where we have opinions. They’re meaningful to us, due to the fact that they’re tied to us. They are an aspect of who we are. So finding an answer is what brings us a resolve that fills a little bit more of who and what we are here in this life.

    A Man  by: M. R. Vega (acrylic, acrylic pour, liquid-poly-clay)
    ENJOI!!;

    C‘est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. Thank you readers and supporters. Sorry I’ve been a bit off and late. Health and wellness is a serious thing. Til tomorrow.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day Eighty-Seven, March 27th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    That 80/20 I brought up yesterday, still trying to figure that out was the 80 for being together 20 leave me alone, or vice versa. Pretty sure it’s the vice versa pretty much sure she wants to be left alone 80% of the time and will only be wanting me the around her 20% of time

    Who knows, recently I found a couple articles about the stay-at-home problems I can come to light, and though I feel that I’m genuinely part of the family and a part of her life it does make me nervous because my everything is invested into taking care of my son and being there, as well as attentive for both my wife and my boy to the point where I will make sure that I’m present I won’t have a phone on me, I will simply be patiently waiting there so waiting to be needed or, help her, cleaning up a mess or, life.

    The biggest thing is one: I’m not single, two I’m nearly done with school and wanting to head on after for my masters in teaching, and three: I’ve got the memoirs and this small blog sites going for me as well, however I do need to acknowledge that WordPress site really needs some more updates and really getting into it where you can actually tell I gave the time and picked up the knowledge to do WordPress and site page appropriately and correctly so you can communicate, you can ask questions and I can maintain. I guess that’s what I’m going for right?

    Back to the 80/20, now if we’re talking 80/20 in matters of beef, I’d say “can I have the 93/7”, trust me, less crud, less issues to deal with down the road after the beef’s been cooked. But then that makes me think, really, is she asking 80% of the time she’s wanting not anything to do with me, genuinely and honestly to be kind of blipped out of the picture and then 20% of the time there for to call me. Or am I being absurd, selfish, stingy with time? Probably. I guess it just gives me more time to focus on the backyard, the office, art, and this.How can you balance that? More so, how do you balance that and maintain a healthy and well managed marriage/relationship?

    So many questions, too little time…

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night wonderful readers, may your day be gentle your night adorned with grace.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Forty-Nine, February 18th, 2024

    Nearly half way to 100 days, hello and hi-ho.

    Senior year is nearing the mid way spot, my mind is nearing the ‘I’m getting tired’ point, and I’m getting surprised daily. Take this for one, She’s reading these.

    I’d assumed it, but then at the same time, thoughts she’s likely too busy, has better things to do and would rather have at it there than scrolling through brief thoughts..of mine..


    What does it mean?

    To which comes the paradox…I know she loves me, I can feel it, and more and more it becomes more visible, but where does the cactus, the flaws, the catalyst of my choices from the past fade to oblivion? Where does a choice of her own, her accord, her narrative become okay with it?

    Is it a contemptibility? Is it a burning from somewhere deep, like a growing tremble that becomes such a  cacophony is it a magnanimous mass that silences the world around her?

    It is love, best I can fit to what I feel that word has become for many that yearn for that, for this, it is Love.

    C’est la vie

    Good night and may you all have a wonderful blessed morning, may your gorgeous morning become a blessed and darling night.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Fourteen, January 14th, 2024

    A dichotomy: a division or contrast between two things that are or are represented as being opposed or entirely different.

    Marriage, is it a dichotomy, or can it transcend the juxtaposition of what opposites attract; chaos?

    This is a question I want to address through a careful perspective with an unbiased peer through. What is believed and what can be considered growth or a place that creates an ouroboros of the most convoluted meanderings that become more dizzying and nonsensical than mature and reasonable?

    Is it possible or does the heart stand as a tenuous and elastic rubber and that will ricochet leaving all wounded internally eyeing the exits without reason, without an explanation?

    Who wants life without answers?

    Goodnight Good morning. Good morning goodnight.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Nine,January 9th, 2024

    So today is more or less I guess quote day Tuesdays will be quote day and honestly I’ll probably just bring quotes in every time I find something that is either revealing upon just what I see what I obtain and how I observe or the likes of just what it is to be I guess what we are human.

    This one is one that I’ve definitely written down more times than once again from a stoic there is something I appreciate about the accountability of being aware that at some point our decisions will come to an end our lives will be done and what decisions and steps and actions we make from birth to that end not only sets us either within Grace or far far from it.

    “We are always complaining that our days are few, and acting as though there would be no end of them.”Seneca

    Now if you would, like I do on most days, really when I read anything, I ponder, I let my brain try to absolve within the words that I’ve collected and not insert myself into that quote directly, but take from it into my own perspective, my own actions, and how often I complain.

    But ask yourself do you complain are you like so many others kind of matching that quote? I know I am, and I’d gladly and willingly take accountability to that. I b**** and moan about difficulties with nfts the dichotomy of Art and digital art and how, though they’re so much the same, there is such a sensitive divide between those that take action with their own hands through both angles or through just one and then the way they spit on one another. And yet they’re both art and the art that is stemming from whether it’s their own or what they saw or what they remembered and how they were raised. It’s another argument that has to do with free will is it actually their creation or is it a creation from an idea that they saw from Van Gogh, Hussar or O’Keeffe? What takes away the originality and Independence of creating art when it’s all art? Whether it’s digital, whether it’s physical, whether it’s a painting. It’s something using Adobe and a bunch of other things that are all using a computer system and coding but oh wait I’m doing the same thing with my brain aren’t I? We are using a computer within and outside of ourselves, how is there truly, how is there a difference or is the ego jumping into the way of that argument, know what I mean?

    So I asked this question because I have just been Grace with the opportunity to make good amounts of money to the point where if I do it right I can legitimately pull myself out of the working 9:00 to 5:00 type of job. All to have the freedom to provide for myself, for my family, and be present with my son every day while also doing school, getting to make art, and write.

    So the question is was this though I’m pretty sure there’s a lot of questions in this day nine. Do I take the jump? Do I take the risk and take the chance?

    I’ve asked two people make that three however the third I have yet to get a response one tells me to be cautious the other one tells me they know very little and wish me luck while the other is an artist and I feel I’m not getting an answer because well maybe the reason is sensitive or maybe the fact that it’s my sister who is also an artist doesn’t want me to know those steps without being involved. I don’t know I don’t know the questions there and I’m kind of at a ‘Hit or Miss by Odetta thinking.

    Signing out thinking about taking the jump making my first minting of something I truly created by myself and truly enjoyed and loved and thinking about making the opportunity of changing my life. I don’t know this is day 9 this is day 9 of a new year of change and the rest of my life what should I do?

    Goodnight and Good morning.

    Nosce Te Ipsum