Dizzying perspectives trapped within…holding on to the notion I’ll be saved, perhaps…stuck within the dizzying circumference of rapturous delights, the books. The books. The books. I’m spinning and spinning. My legs feel like jello simmering in the pot bubble bubble bubble. Heading south bound to the perspectives held asunder broken million pieces of the deepest blue. Whipping off the face to see something deeper than what isn’t so brave. Darkened motifs designed to shade the darkest corner of what we think.
What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?
I guess you could say I’m a tad corny, too hopeful, or ignorant. Whatever it is you choose to define my persona, let it be something joyous. And I know a lot of my language is marosse, that the direction is more drab and negative to which I don’t mean it to be.
I like questioning life and what it is that makes us tick…even if it be me. I appreciate the analytic perspective to the human, whomever it may be. But overall, regardless of writing, I want this, all I’ve written to help someone. Whether it be one, two, or one sentence that moves someone to do something positive and to better the outcome for another…then I’m good.
Again I know it’s corny, but it’s the truth. I think life is simple and we make it difficult because feelings and logic tend to sit in a perplexing order when it’s applicable to what fits. Like a puzzle piece finishing the horizon.
If what I write can help someone either find a path to work, see choices made or questions asked that help retrieve their own findings than la-di-da.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I thank you for coming to my page and venturing within. May your night be splendid and the day be graceful. Thank you for being you.
Damn, it’s the fourth already. I’m editing for the third, and I’m adding this on the fourth, dammit, dammit…f***, sometimes life just kind of gets you by the balls doesn’t it?
Something happened today though, something that resonated with me deeply, and I haven’t been able to shake the thought, which I think is likely a good thing.
The MS has been kicking my ass, right? I have definitely let it happen to take precedence when there is no need. I panic with worry when dealing with prominent symptoms. But, there’s a thing to that, these symptoms, these are typical symptoms that are cause and due to the damage that has been afflicted to that of the myelin sheath of my spine and the spots in my brain. That’s why the symptoms are there, not something new… I don’t know how I could have been so stupid? I had assumed due to the reaction and incessant lengths, it was having to do with a new issue…it wasn’t. Why to think so absurdly? And to assume that the symptoms I am and still deal with were more than what I’ve been dealing with.
I wasn’t mentally obliterated with the details shared from my neurologist, I was enlightened…and this coaxing comfort came with this new knowledge.
ENJOI!!!
Okie dokie, I know that’s cheap, a cheap take for playlists. Most of the time they’re planned and we’ll, these are the favorites, usually played when cleaning or starting my art. I hope it’s enjoyed.
So to find that my pain and the issues are to stay the way they are, this is a new norm for me that I need to be okay with. It’s if it changes to something apart from what is known and familiar, that’s when it’s time to call the Doc.
I know.
‘How can I be so dumb?’
Okay, so real quick, this isn’t some self-deprecating comment, it’s simply an observation of the simplest fashion.
My own health being how it is, not understanding that the sensations being felt are something I’ve become familiar with, though there are days where it’s more than it is or more than the day before, the week before, that’s to be a different discussion. But it’s the case, it doesn’t mean anything other than having a bad day or a Bad MS Day. That’s it and I made it more than it had to be. I’m grateful that I finally have the awareness and understanding that that’s just the new norm. I don’t know, I guess it’s like stamping it with finality.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May the night be bliss, may the day be greatly comforting with resolve to the issues.
Sometimes it just gets to the point where it’s too much, innit? Whether it be life, whether it be the juxtaposition of school and mind, the dichotomy of life and that of a spouse and you, friend, what have you? Leaving you where, what you’re wanting to do is crouch down, either clench and just squeeze your eyes shut till the silence coaxes the ears, the kind, the soul.
It’s life though, innit. We put ourselves around the people we hope are good for us and that pair well with us; this though changes through the evolution in the self of each of us.
And though there may be some differences with change, some part far from what they were what they intended to become, and resort to a cool comfort that is complacency.
Facing Pillar II under the guise of Jungian theories, I observe and watch, the biggest thing about this is this, I can’t change anyone but me, none of us can change anything but ourselves and how we react to life. Even through relationships, we have a choice, and a call to being accountable for our behaviours and actions.
What I’m realizing is for the second pillar, it calls to that accountability I was mentioning. Who do you invest in time with, where are the flaws being seen, what is making moves with you and reacting in a positive manner? Find what brings light to you and yours what brings a positive reliance of each other together.
ENJOI!!!
I’ll tell you how it goes for me this next week while I reach out to those I do hold close to my heart even if they’re a distance away. Who are the ones where it’s like pulling teeth for conversation, who are the ones where it’s as if life just continued naturally, as if a cognizant relationship with being real connects the lines for you? I bid adieu. I’m very much late with wrapping this up, have a painting glaring at me as he’s not done yet.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night to you all, may the day to come the gentle breeze of the hours coax the heart gently caressing you into the night bliss of living.
Originally, I had thought that maybe the health and mental wellness for pillar one of Carl Jung’s would take approximately a week. However I didn’t connect the totality of being the stay-at-home dad about 24/7, school, which I totally bombed the report I should have done, and the actual health of my friend John whose memories we’ve been editing and writing together. It’s a lot, and there are times where I think it’s not because I take into account the time where I relax a little bit, whether it’s watching a show with my wife, going outside to play with the dogs and my son, reading, art, writing the blog even, to an extent I connect it to an extracurricular activity. The thing is it’s so much more than that isn’t it? Taking the time, being cognizant of taking that time to be with my son, to be with my wife, to build up the relationship with the dogs, especially Lobo Blanco, that camaraderie is needed. And though it is the parts of my life that are more than incessant as in they are right there all the time, not counting of course my wife the teacher who’s busy all times. Taking care of that a family and the connections that are maintained and strong, they, in tow with staying on top of it, being conscientious of being a part of everybody else that you’re involved with, it genuinely does feel good. Shouldn’t it feel good?
There are aspects to the questions asked above that do have to do with the five pillars especially when considering the ties to friendship, family, a resilience within ourselves that are tied to the aspects outside of the home that we each carry with us wherever we go. And of course we will get there but I didn’t think about how very prevalent and quite honestly absolutely obvious that bodily health and mental health both need to be paired together and of course with that said, there needs to be a cognizant attribution to how we acquire this knowledge and continue with it and taking care of our health both for our body and our mind.
That said, Google’s Balance does help, however I don’t go to it enough, or use it consecutively throughout the myriad of many many weeks that have flown by to say that Google’s Balance is variable that can actually be counted as a stone to be used. It is a great variable to see if it can be used for you, when I plug in with my headphones, what I want to hear is music, or if I’m watching a show what’s to pair with that show. Now if I want a mental health coaching and massaging to an ego That should be tamed and the variables that make me I don’t know hard to deal with or make me just the character to be ?? It leaves me with a I don’t know. But with that being mentioned I do know that Google’s balance does help and has helped, it does slow my rate down it does have me think within and watch and question my actions and why is this what upsets me, why is this and the words that were told or directed towards me, why is that affecting me so? And that there is why I’m talking today, I feel that for everyone, the reader, not reader, YouTube streamer, the many that do the Doom scrolling every day, those that are watching the today show tomorrow morning, the people that have the CNN News ticker on the screen all day everyday with the monotonous tone of news report after news report after news report, for everyone, and yes even you. I feel that it is in us, ourselves and in knowing the self that drives you, me, us forward and has us all looking up. It’s the awareness that we can be better, and to sweeten that pot the wanting to be better, wanting to be something that is an adversary no matter what darkness is faced to you and yours. It’s being able to acquire the knowledge, and acquire the resilience to know the difference from the actions before that defeated you and the actions in the future that will better you and all that you touch. To which is why I think the first pillar is the biggest one that needs to be focused on. That mental health is one of the biggest things that truly truly needs to be completely have a responsibility for. But of course this is just my thoughts, and this is my thinking with everything else going on in my life but still it’s mine, or is it, is it Jung? Is it the reading or a collection of thought that in the collective accrued a variable that matched a feeling within?
But that’s it isn’t it? Even with Carl Jung there is that kind of call to trusting yourself, trusting your gut, that intuition, and knowing there’s more or that the substantive evidence that you having in your hand can be used to better everything you do from here on out. But then again I come from a view of light, I know the world is shrouded in darkness, at least I’m aware that s*** is hitting the fan all around us, that chaos is at the door half the time, and the thing that has me gripped, having me stand here resolute not moving, posting everyday, is knowing life is too damn short and too damn beautiful to not give a f***. I do apologize for my frankness to anybody reading and finding this rude. This is an op-ed piece. Most if not all of what I write in my daily Post is just that. Because that’s life and it comes with feelings and he comes with her reaction and may our action is to share the feelings the intention thought perceived and what I think could be better. Doesn’t mean I’m right it doesn’t mean I’m wrong, it simply means I have an opinion like an a****** which everybody has and mostly everybody stinks. At least I haven’t met somebody with an a****** that smells like roses, you?
Anyhow I do apologize for the curt addressing, I am also editing ‘Forget-Me-Naught REDUX Pt. 1’ and trying to get that dropped shortly after I post this so forgive me. I do wish you well and do hope you come back to read a story I’ve been working on for a long time this is probably edition 82, personally I think it may work and I’m really hoping for an opinion from any of the readers that come by all means please share. And I hope you love the music as always.
Playlist #0.15 – Enjoi
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night to all of you, to every person, whether you’re reading this or not, whether you give a crap or not, I wish you well and I hope you have a wonderful night and a wonderful morning with the day that’s graceful and pleasant. Till tomorrow.
Hello. I write to you from the darkness. Before your mind imagines a gloomed dungeon or a morose location. I’m merely in the living room, and my child sleeps beside me clicking his tongue as though he was a bat in the night without a move but the drearily waving dangle that hangs from his tired left hand. His mother, my partner isn’t anywhere nearer to being awake than the rest of the house and all that makes a sound is the groaning of the game console and the tired snoring dog. They’re all but beautiful, somberly adrift in their own palaces of whatever dreams it is that takes them away from the waking hours.
I sigh to myself, grateful that the throat is finally recovering from another bout of bronchitis, anxious about the opportunities I face this coming week, and instead of coaxing the child and his mother off to the beds, I have them sleep where the tired heads of theirs fell but if only for the time it takes to write this.
You, like me, are likely writers hopefully readers and often dream. I cross my fingers in dear hope that you do. Whether it’s my fate of recent developments to my health or what have you, I rarely do, least of remember but a faint Deja Vu that I grasp tightly to. Hoping I remember the horrors faced to write it down for later consumption by you and my fingers that type out day after day after the shift is done.
The reason I write to you instead of dropping another part to the chapters that are slowly coming to fruition in this blog, it dawned on me today that my dream is quickly becoming a reality.
Not only has Lady Fortuna laid her eyes on me, but has graced me with a hope for a better world that I’m making my own. I’m still a student starting my senior year in college. Among the graces of being married and having healthy children, I’ve made the dream of being a writer a goal that has met a light. I’ve managed to adapt and evolve in a way that I can take care of what I want to do while also aiming in achieving the needs that can amplify the ‘What & Why’.
I still struggle, still yearn for a day when there’s nothing to be done, but I take from the stoics, I take from the examples left to my interpretations, and managed to develop my own form of pleasantness and joy. Maybe you call that a sappy endeavour, I think ‘so what’. Isn’t that what we all aim for? It’s quickly fleeting but easily grasped nowadays, and all I have to remind myself is that I only fail if I quit.
It’s Bradbury that mentions this. I personally wish the man was a grandfather of mine, likely many of us do, however, I take from the lessons he left behind just as I do when I read King, Vonnegut, or the recent one of my favorites Ms. Penny. One can only achieve greatness by taking it day by day, or like Lamont states ‘Bird by Bird’.
Now with that, I can joyously state that I finally found a groove, not per se my groove as one may, but it’s a groove that brings resolute confidence to what motivates me. My hours for work coincide with the need to breathe and be merry, which falls into the flow of being the husband and father I always aim to be, which rounds up the ending of my nights often with this. The many parts to what will become my first hope in stories. My first step to being me, the me I’ve always aimed in being.
So with that I close the laptop, signing off with a wish to you and yours and with a delighted thank you for the support and continued readings of DreamDarkStories.
Dream Dark Stories 