Dream Dark Stories

Tag: painting

  • Day Ninety-Nine, April 8th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    I do hope your day is splendid and wonderful and to those who are new to my site or the page or just this post, I have been dropping a daily journalistic and introspective take to what it’s like being a stay-at-home Dad being in school, married, while struggling with MS as it develops and evolves.

    One of my favorite things aside from this and writing is my art outside of school and the enjoyment in expressing whatever it is in my head, because what’s in my here and what I end up putting down are two very different depictions. Secondly, the MS brings on a compilation of colors and effects that I couldn’t have imagined without the MS or at least that’s how it feels sometimes.

    What is below is not all the art that I’ve done through the time and I will be dropping finished pieces within the next week or two but this is more depiction of how I’m faring or how I’m dissolving. Neurologists aren’t all that great with communication and I feel like there’s something to be done with our doctors as I thought they were working for us; you know the patient. But time and time again it feels like that is not the case if ever.

    Hand drawn ’20
    Hand drawn ’20
    Acrylic ’21
    Acrylic ’21
    Acrylic pour paint ’22-23
    Water-colour ’22/23
    Water-colour ’24
    Water-colour ’22
    Water-colour ’22
    Water colour ’22
    Water-colour ’22
    Water-colour ’22
    Water-colour ’23
    Water-colour ’23
    Water-colour ’24

    So if you notice I do start with acrylic, however, until I decided to start really adding water by using Caran D’ache NEOCOLOR II AQUARELLE, there was an element that kept whatever was being created inanimate. So a lot if not most of what is above has an organic element that I had hoped could be grasped. But the other thing is when it comes to faces which if you continue to follow and read throughout my telling of MS and life, the faces mean more than anything else, because the faces, though they depict one thing are usually shrouded, clouded, and covered for the fact that is how it feels here, living, being in my body. There are 30,000 ideas, thoughts, feelings, and emotion through this tenuous thread that I feel vibrates and flows within life but…there are these handicaps that I keep finding in my life and I feel that the more and more I try to convey what’s going on the less of a mouth I have, the less truth can be heard.

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night you beautiful cherished and supportive readers, I hope you the best, and I hope to see Good Fortune for all. Till tomorrow…

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Fifty, February 19th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Stuck Pt. 1 will be dropping later this morning so do jeep an eye out. There are a few additional art pieces to aid but they initially are my own, though I did use Dream.Wombo.AI to aid in progression for what I made and using prompts, it’s based on my art, with the aim of my words.

    Now this is where I feel I may not share a distaste as much as others do when considering AI. I do have MS, and it does help with keeping focus, cleaning portions of what I had envisioned and what was wanted for the end. This is a piece of my support and why, I use AI for pieces still in production and likely to be 100% different from the original piece used for the wombo.AI.

    What I like about the physical works I’ve created is the flaws, it’s the minor additives to the whole product that creates a genuine touch of original authenticity to being me, having MS and how the dichotomy between health and disease either create beauty or a juxtaposed route to making sense of being different.

    Now to sharing some art, all self created. All pieces are done with acrylic, either with brush or pour. 

    An Eye In Waiting : M. R. Vega
    HER (Stuck/In Silence) by: M. R. Vega
    A Call to Winter : M. R. Vega
    ? In production : M. R. Vega

    C’est la vie

    Goodnight and Good Morning, Good Morning and Good night.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Seventeen, January 17th, 2024

    I’d say sorry but I don’t know, we’re all human, we make mistakes, and depending on medications we deal with depression. That’s where I’m at right now, I am pretty sure I’ve been dealing with depression since probably the second or third week after my first infusion. There are times where I feel okay and then other times overly emotional overly moved however I know I’m a sappy person I know I moved by the wind if it’s just right or the right sound in a song or a cute heart touching moment between father-son mother-daughter family what have you anything having to do with the wonderful perspectives of love and life shared that moves me but I don’t know there’s a pit. And that pit just slowly feels like it’s gaining momentum enough that it’s even messing with my time, not time dilation or any issue like that. However, observing just my reality, I don’t know, maybe it is time dilation or an observance of things expected to be faster or slower. Again that notorious thing I’m going to say consistently and likely incessantly for people who do read continuously with me I don’t know. And god do I wish I did know.

    I had my brother-in-law come over and paint. side note: I’m not his biggest fan, and it came from his direct request to paint with me.

    Now for me painting is an unleashing from whatever is holding me, whether it be my own doubts, fears, anxieties, what have you. Painting, writing,and art help me transcend beyond those aggravating circumstances that just come with life.

    And so I gave him what he needed, canvas,acrylics, paint brushes,some cups of water, gave him some details to make sure he didn’t do, just to make sure that what he was envisioning would be able to be produced on canvas. I set myself apart outside of the art studio and sat painting the face that I’ve shared a few times and I felt… nothing.

    I still love the art, I still love making art, I just feel like I’m falling in a hole and it just feels that it is getting bigger and wider. I’ve got a laxed spouse who will chime in on knowing depression is a side effect of the Ocrevus and that’ll be that. And the brother who will probably share an ear or a meaningful apology for whatever I’m dealing with but I just feel lost and I’m not lost. At least I have my goals, I have my projects, my school work, those assignments documented. I have everything being recorded or noted in my passion planner I don’t know.

    Anyhow the painting time was alright, music clouded the air, B.I.L finished his piece, and there was still a stagnancy to the day. Looking for points of brightness where the darkness shrouds and just trying to figure it out day by day.

    Good morning, Good night, Good night, Good morning.

    Nosce Te Ipsum