One tiny moment in time. Live it as brightly as you can to shine, to all, to everyone.
C’est la vie
Nosce Te Ipsum
One tiny moment in time. Live it as brightly as you can to shine, to all, to everyone.
C’est la vie
Nosce Te Ipsum
Hi-ho and hello.
Good evening, good morning, whatever hour of the day it is and your time good day, that is I hope you are having a good day. I found that I write and realized I don’t know who I am writing to or four.
I want to help, I want to point in the right direction, I want to do well. Or kindness, something of value, or something that not only has you wanting to see what’s going on again, but has a destination.
One thing I do like about this, WordPress, the blog, is it is genuinely a journal entry, I wasn’t one to do journaling back in the day, I would do one little journal thing for an English class, thank you Ms. Wolf for that one. And my short story writing was just that. It was short story writing which was myself having fun and having an adventure in my head and putting it on paper. What stories I do write are still that and the journaling is something new. But still the same with instead of just encompassing an hour of a day of a stupid teen now it encapsulates a stupid adult and the parenting, and everything else under the Sun that is mine I guess. But what for? For life, for living, for knowing eventually, and possibly soon, death will take me.
But the thing is, well it’s true and I think maybe that’s why I’m here…maybe that’s the purpose.
I have stated in the past and to reiterate, I was a very stupid young man, I was dumb, brash, immature and more than idiotic. One day though, I woke up and I decided I do not want that life, I didn’t want violence, I didn’t want to be a statistic, nor did I want any more negativity tied to me than I had created myself. I slowly started to take the steps to be the change I wanted to see. And I strive daily to be that. But with what I’m seeing in language and reality, I would much rather stay in maintaining positivity and love, with light.
Essentially that’s how I want to live, it is how I am choosing to live. I breathe In the words of Latin. Memento Mori. Meaning “remember you must die“. And I take each step with intention. But that doesn’t mean I don’t lose focus, especially considering this last week, sometimes focus has to change due to other circumstances shifting needs. Luckily I’ve got tethers to help, factors of my own, writing, art, memoirs editing, and other choices like house duties. And with those I aim in making sure what I do isn’t for nothing. And I try to do this with the mantras of Memento Mori and Nosce Te Ipsum as my talisman.
To know myself and have the knowledge that life is brief has helped make sure each day has a significant poignancy to it. I cherish the minutes I share with my wife and son. I cherish the time I have with my friend John, my brother Ben and his wife, my dogs, conversations with my mom, books, art, and the contrast of life and the many alcoves that seem to be available at a moments notice for so many shades of perspective and actuality. Life is a conundrum wrapped in a bow, adorned in glitter, dressed with obsidian, and boxed in alabaster.

C’est la vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night readers.
Nosce Te Ipsum
Hello and hi-ho.
The day has been drifting, the time inching, and I’ve taken the opportunity to enjoy the present, enjoy my family, and take on as many cuddles from my little boy as can be tolerated.
But it did bring a thought. One I feel we all tend to ask ourselves when losing traction or focus. What am I doing?
A poem:
Thought.
The power of the mind, the traction of our thoughts, the power we give the things that are so, so irrational.
Love.
A feeling, tremendously fragile, tempting fate, tempting life, Love. An underrated, understated, most verbally related form of justified sensation.
Thoughts.
The darkness shrouds, and the light is fleeting, my mind is always staying to task, oh no, no it’s not, the darkness shrouds, the thoughts they stick, no they don’t. Thoughts.
Like butterflies bouncing from chest to mind to mind to hand to hand to foot,butterflies bounce and bounce with thoughts and feelings, emotions dark and light, the butterflies bounce and bounce flutter and trounce, and all I want is to collect them in order smallest to biggest, smallest to biggest.
Love and thoughts thoughts and love I say hi-ho and so it goes to repeat another, to repeat another, to repeat another.
End.
C’est la vie
Goodnight and good morning, good morning and good night.
Nosce Te Ipsum
Nearly half way to 100 days, hello and hi-ho.
Senior year is nearing the mid way spot, my mind is nearing the ‘I’m getting tired’ point, and I’m getting surprised daily. Take this for one, She’s reading these.
I’d assumed it, but then at the same time, thoughts she’s likely too busy, has better things to do and would rather have at it there than scrolling through brief thoughts..of mine..
What does it mean?
To which comes the paradox…I know she loves me, I can feel it, and more and more it becomes more visible, but where does the cactus, the flaws, the catalyst of my choices from the past fade to oblivion? Where does a choice of her own, her accord, her narrative become okay with it?
Is it a contemptibility? Is it a burning from somewhere deep, like a growing tremble that becomes such a cacophony is it a magnanimous mass that silences the world around her?
It is love, best I can fit to what I feel that word has become for many that yearn for that, for this, it is Love.
C’est la vie
Good night and may you all have a wonderful blessed morning, may your gorgeous morning become a blessed and darling night.
Nosce Te Ipsum
Hello and hi-ho
Boy the day really got ahead of me, I’m swamped, tidying up research for a subject that’s so off base from the original subject in the school course, that I’m thinking f*** it let’s do this. So I’m still writing, editing, and writing more and really trying to capitalize on my family time.
Ever get told something; like a “you’re being rude, you’re being wrong, being negative or bad” when that’s not the intention and then questioning your entirety of intention from the get go?
Is this gaslighting or is this just an emotional like couples thing?
I don’t know, still like I said trying to capitalize on relationships right I am going to drop some stuff later tonight it will not be a journal entry it will not be a day 40 anything it will simply be some pictures and some details to whatever it is that I’m dropping.
So I’m signing out, closing for the night going to write up my February 16th intro and edit and try to drop Stuck this weekend. Hoping I can get at least a short story a month didn’t realize as much editing as I am doing that it was going to take up as much time as it is who would have thunk that?
C’est la vie
Good night and have a beautiful morning. Good gorgeous morning and have a wonderful splendid Dark night.
Nosce Te Ipsum
Hi-ho and hello
How is the Valentine day rolling out or how was it?
Did you rest queerly, agitated with the egregious and plethora of traffic nearly everywhere? Did you have a long wait at the reserved four star restaurant? Was there a fight? I hope not. Truly.
Sometimes I’m negative, and bring that negativity to my writing and bring it to my paintings and my drawings my everything, even my gaming. Thing is my Valentine went great. It was rather fantastic as we enjoy the simple things. We had ordered Olive Garden yesterday which was still insane because it was before Ash Wednesday. And if you know what that means then everybody is taking that day to eat the meats because they’re likely going to go meat free for the duration left. So we were left at the to-go sign waiting slot for a while but we ended up getting a great spread for rather reasonable prices and ended up having Olive Garden for two days. With the addition of the occasional throwing in stops at Culver’s, stops at Starbucks, and just trea ourselves. What has made it great though, wasn’t the food per se, the gifts per se. It was just being with one another. We may have been going through a lot we probably still are I’m not going to be a fool and say everything is great because I hope that we’re steering towards greatness for each other… But there are times where I get nervous and I hesitate so to be present and to be able to enjoy it with one another for just being us with each other I think it’s great.
Sadly the project for the tea bag holder is still in production still looking for that e6000 but I’ll find it.
She adored the Lego set, and is excited to make it over the weekend. I’m hoping to take some pictures when there’s some color,
Getting sleepy
C’est la vie
Goodnight and good morning, good morning and goodnight.
Nosce Te Ipsum
Hello and hello.
Back to a day of mine continued. Check previous post Day Thirty-Two.
12:00 p.m. – I’ve already clocked in, at least that is if Calabrio isn’t mucked up, little man is set, water refilled, PlayStation controller charged and likely in his hands. I’m usually dealing with two to five calls an hour now, this giving me ample moments of bliss, continued doodling and sketching plans for what will be painted. The dogs are usually out again, if good weather is available, then yes.
12:30 p.m. – Now, this is about the time I go through the daily itinerary of my Memento Mori quotes, breathing works, and personal journaling. What’s also done and checked a few times from morning to now is my Passion Planner which I use for detailing my plans, outlining painting projects, writing projects and school goals.
1:00 p.m. – little man starts to get restless, knowing the usual VTO I sign up for is close to being issued, he raps at my office door, jingles the door knob, and kicks with a fury of ten of him. I strain and tighten my neck knowing if I take a second it could be me choosing family over work and they watch.
Segway: I liked the company from the get-go, and have enjoyed the promises of understanding the need for family time and the importance of being involved. Upon my first and second interview I offered my relinquishing of my MS difficulties, my being the stay at home parent for our child with Autism who’s nonverbal and needs 24/7 surveillance by his parents. They were cordial, understanding and inviting. The more I work, the more I see that’s not the case. Bad enough I have to lock the door and seal it where I can barely hear the chaos that may unravel outside of the office. My hair is graying quickly.
2:00 p.m – VTO is usually issued now, the little one screams with a smile and shifts on the coach expecting me to sit down. I take the dogs out first if they’re not already out, grab a large drink of water, and take a walkthrough the house while I list the things I need to either finish, start, or avoid.
2:30 p.m. – the list is simple, do the dishes, sweep, mop, tidy, clear counter space, do homework, study, and prep dinner.
3:00 p.m. – the biggest thing I do for myself though, knowing the plan is for the house and family afterward is the music. I stack the five UE speakers either in the kitchen or living room and let it ring. If cooking is on the agenda I start the simple prep that likely takes minutes sometimes a half hour. If not that, I’m painting, bringing out canvas unfinished, doodled on, or something blank and needing color. The music invigorates the artistic splendor and I create whether with words, paint, clay, or the markers.
3:30 p.m. – the music is still belting my favorites, little man likely is singing and in the kitchen either watching the paint being splashed and spread on the canvas or agitated as I write and ask him to be quiet just a little longer. If the oven is being used this is usually when I turn it on.
4:00 p.m. – the Mrs occasionally throws me a likely time she’ll be home for supper and with this issuing of a gentle alert I wrap up whatever it is I’m doing and get to my kitchen tasks. The music is usually still playing, sometimes a show, other times it’s a podcast, an audiobook or the droning on and on of my son’s favorite show, or movie.
4:30 p.m. – she’ll be home within thirty and now the veggies are either sliced, diced, or chopped, meats seasoned and water boiling. I go through my usually steps and grill this, oven roast those, boil these, and voila.
5:00 p.m. – Dinner time, we eat, she shares the trivializing escapades of her third graders and the annoyance of some the joys of others and the less than friendly staff that don’t communicate, she revels in the cooking, and shortly give or take 15-25 minutes we’re done, she’s sitting in the living room and if any outings are to be done we wait theory minutes til then
5:30 p.m. – depending on mood, needs, and whatever else comes up prior to going anywhere else I clear the table, do the dishes and tidy the kitchen. Some days are better than others, it’s like these posts, some are on time, some nearing late, some too late. C’est la vie
6:00 p.m. – if no outing, no plan, I take little man outside for some time with the dogs, a popsicle or two for my boy and I write, I listen to my music and play with the doggos or talk to my son. Sometimes he’s interested, other times he could care less, the occasional chest pat, which covers please, thank you, yes, no, even maybe is used at times, deciphering what it means each pat is learned through knowing him. But knowing I can do backyard cleaning, I put it off, waiting for the warmer days and I walk around, still the music is playing and I know we likely have Young Sheldon plans with momma after he finishes his last Popsicle.
7:00 p.m. – at this time we watch our shows, given the recent SAG-AFTRA strike there is little to be had, though it has left us on a hunt, knowing we appreciate Garland Coben we’ve watched all of his Netflix series’, the Amazon one or two, almost all of You g Sheldon, and Found with Mark-Paul Gosselaar, oh and the trust but that’s due to us following Gaspar on IG.
8:00 p.m. – we give our little man some time to show us his shows, he usually gets a half hour sometimes an hour while we do our separate things, she scrolls and whatever else, I write, sometimes depending on circumstances or inspiration I bring a canvas in, show her wanting feedback, there’s little and either paint more or start another daily post for this.
9:00 p.m. – it’s bed time for the little one, the Mrs is getting sleepy, and we usually have a movie plan. We get the little guy cleaned up for bed and tuck him in, I run outside and grab the doggos who run in with glee and give them some love before they run back to their room. We then discuss what we’re watching, finally decide upon one of the many options and try to get through at least half of a film.
10:00 p.m. – I write, I do my DQs for school, research more for assignments and drift deciding if I want to work more, enjoy some time while she drifts off to the Dreamworld. I’m left alone, at times I feel like it’s a sport between the two of us. Who will fall asleep first, who will stay up?
11:00 p.m. – the tiredness has yet to sweep over me, the screen is glaring, my family sleeps, and I choose a show, lately it’s the documentary of Vonnegut on Hulu, I’ll write at times, usually editing works unshared here but it’s a bigger project than expected and I aim on getting to that eventually. We’ll see.
12:00 a.m. – I’m still very much awake still at this time, still very much alive and not nearing the dropping eyes, but I know tomorrow will be coming regardless and try to get her to the bedroom so her neck isn’t kinked and pained the next day, it takes a near thirty minutes sometimes. But it’s been like that since day one. You learn to work with what you got. Anyhow from waking to about now, this is my day, a chill day at that, chaotic ones are left mentioned but they come through in passages, in feelings and the thoughts I share. Sometimes they’re lessons learned, others are revelations, and then there are those that have me wanting to climb a wall and disappear. But we do what we must and take on the next day remembering the parts that worked and avoiding those that don’t.
Good night and good morning. Good morning and goodnight.
Nosce Te Ipsum
Hi ho and hello.
The following is a daily run through life, as honest as possible, with blips, trips, the confusion and mix ups throughout. Given the MS and the ADHD, I hope it’s not a concussed hodgepodge of nonsense. Enjoi!
3:23 a.m. – a tossing of my legs trapped in between the sheets, the Sherpa on top, and the legs are sticky with sweat. I readjust, plump the pillow and test either side placing my face on the cold portion, I move my legs as far apart without bumping her, I drift off.
4:35 a.m. – My body maintains a steady sweating, leaving me shedding the blankets down to the sheet, another readjust, I can feel the tightness of my groin, the fullness of my bladder and lay my head a moment before sliding over to the bathroom. I hear the little one snoring, the dogs sleeping in their kennels shifting, and I sit on the porcelain. The floor is cold, stiffening my feet, following to my ankles, to the knees and I give myself a shake, dab with a square of toilet paper, flush, wash hands and drift back to the bed. The electric, standing heater beside my darlings side kicks on its groaning chatter and my body meets the cold and clammy bed. I shake the phone on the nightstand, it’s 4:40 a.m. I beg for sleep to quickly grace my eyes and squeeze them closed til I drift.
5:30 a.m. – the alarm doesn’t chitter, chatter, it’s a buzzing that wakes and the brightness that gleams from the screen. I stir, but slowly, feeling the air around me, trying to figure out if there’s a thermal shirt nearby. I’m up now, feet bare, standing in my underwear, and slowly rummaging through the basket of clean clothes till I pull a shirt, long socks, and the jeans from the night before. I coat the bottom of my feet with Lumé, Old Spice to the armpits and a soft padded walk to the bathroom again.
6:00 a.m. – an alarm can be heard, it’s my wife’s, it’s stopped. Fully clothed and now with a hoodie on, I wake the little boy, pat his behind and whisper a call to check on his mom, nearly in a stupor he smiles meekly and runs to the bedroom and immediately slips onto the running into his mom as though it was rehearsed. I go to the kitchen, make a smoothie, fill up the 40oz Owala, and pack the little ones lunch. Two protein bars, some cereal, chocolate Belvitas bag, a gorp mix, and a soft peppermint.
6:30 a.m. – I run back to the master bedroom, ask if there’s anything I can get while I ready our son, this is usually when the annoyance builds as I’m talky, our son is ready for the bus and it’s 25 minutes too early.
7:00 a.m. – I help the Mrs, loading the Jeep with her bags, give her a kissa and sign loveydovey things while she backs up and heads out. Shortly after Our son’s bus is cutting up the curb and we bolt to that bus together, one giddy and excited, me irritated the working mundane is veering on in an hour.
7:22 a.m. – the little one is gone, I breathe a heavy sigh, troy on over to the doggos and let them out, at times I’ll have a small puff and a long drag at my coffee while i get them their water and eats.
7:40 a.m – nearing clock-in time for work, I ready my coffee, turn on the mug warmer next to the screens meant for work and solely used for work. I groan and get my UE speakers belting out a track or two while I watch the dogs and count down my time.
7:50 a.m. – Clock-in, get the Citrix hub up and running while I wait idly for 8:00 am. The groaning clock teases me and I punch in for VTO as I’m getting sick and tired of the monotonous rhetoric and I take that first hard gulp of my dark elixir.
8:00 a.m – work starts off with silence, the Microsoft Teams feed that has grown to be a larger annoyance than the calls of irritated Pts needing cancellations, reschedules, and the broad…Calabrio once again fails addressing human need for break times coinciding with appropriate times. Break in an hour, I doodle, scroll through Memento Mori and the popular doom scrolling I believe most of us are familiar with. I grab one of my carts with paints and the brushes needed, an empty canvas and stare off grasping the ideas in my head, with the occasional call interrupting my focus, they’re mundane calls that usually are requesting confirmation for appointment times and the likes.
9:15 a.m – break time, music, a Puff built bar, and bringing the dogs back in for a small nap before lunch. My mind wrestles with worries, needs, and a call for a breath. I close my eyes, enjoy the music until the alarm blares out three minutes before heading back to the grind a room away.
10:55 a.m. – I’m tired now, lunch is coming up, the boy will be arriving within 20 minutes, if that, and I find myself doodling again, sketching, well something, what it may be is an eye, maybe a small smile within the eye, but the phone rings again right before lunch and I grit the teeth and play the role, “Thank you for calling Blah blah blah my name is Matthew, may I have your first and last name as well as date of birth?”
11:10 a.m – Lunch time, the bus pulls up, leaving me little time to rip the headset from my mop and bolt to the door. I may have forgotten to clock out, doesn’t matter. My son and I have gained a tradition since starting school ,
Sorry mates, readers, I’m exhausted, the tests blood work, and the exhaustion from the fretting has left me near stupefaction.
To be continued.
Good night, good morning. Good morning and goodnight.
Nosce Te Ipsum
Whoa, the day got away from me, the time extracted through the syringe of exhaustion and the flummoxed anxiety that I use as energy to push it on for the next day.
Hello and Hi. So as of now, I am finding that the MS does not like Ocrevus, which on the bad end has me reeling with a flummoxed anxiety that leaves me not knowing what’s up or down, I guess I celebrated too excessively than I should have. And by celebrating I mean painting, doing my artistic crap, music, lots of it, that’s all not a drinker and I have no friends so I don’t party.
So what looked like having a good 41 years with my family until essentially just breaking down where I’m going to be stagnant and ne’er-do-well, to it being well about 10 years however we’re waiting for some results, and with the virus that I also have tied in with taking the Ocrevus I’m genuinely hoping that if it’s what I hope it’s not is caught immediately so at least my wife and I can plan the next two years to be amazing, or at least we can settle for a close ten years lived as best as possible without things falling apart.
I’m frustrated. I genuinely, well I was more than elated, I had this exceptionally sensationalized exuberance kind of just pouring through everything I was doing and it was with that knowing I had more time, I have the opportunity of time on my side being able to provide what my son needs, what my wife needs, what I need. And as of now that’s not what I’m facing and god it is frustrating more than frustrating debilitating I’m confused I’m lost I’m sitting at the computer working but not working while I do this when I talk to you the reader and again I am I’m mad and more and more I’m kind of retreating into a little pocket of, essentially, I guess it’s fear.
I know this post is dropping on the 1st, sorry. I will have a short story popping up by the weekend as well as possibly some art I have a few pieces that I may share but I also got to connect my page with my ig and Facebook and really hoping Spotify and WordPress get their crap figured out cuz I would love to share the music that I’ve been dealing with are that’s helping me deal.
Good night, good morning. Good morning and good night.
C’est la vie. If not today there’s always tomorrow.
Nosce Te Ipsum
We’re told as students that it’s in us to write what we know, what we understand or understood one time or another.
In high school, if you’re lucky, or terribly unlucky, philosophy becomes the course that has its own pedestal. Here we’re taught that the wise admit in being wise due to admitting a knowledge of little but consistently acquiring knowledge and aiming for learning what can be understood, to not know everything, but to know that it’s a collecting and using the knowledge to benefit not just the self but all others around. Right?
So as of right now my journal entries, my posts, my published whatever these are, they’re my perceptions, they’re the way I look at the world and the way I perceive it as it gnaws and gestates the masses.
I’ll also do everything I can to maintain a neutral balance but will never get into politics. I support peace, love, honor, respect, and truth.
If ever you read this know that the way I look at the world is this. And no this isn’t some blase crap shoot where I don’t see anything but just people kind of line that you hear from somebody who is absolutely an atrocious person and are just trying to save their hide. I grew up in the church, and no not Catholic, but there has always been something that was taught regardless of my beliefs now, the teaching was this: we are all breathing the same air, we are all sharing the same world, it is on us to respect one another and it is up to us to treat one another the way we want to be treated. Simple as that, and I understand that it is not simple life is not simple, struggle is not simple. The chaos of the world and how we take that or how we change it truly depends on us.
I truly believe that we’ve lost massive sight of just that simple, too simple of a way in viewing what it is around us. It’s hard not to get emotionally wrapped into it though because you see things developing and if you’re a reader these things developing immediately shoot fear throughout, because the daunting parallels to fiction and what is now reality unraveling, is more than horrifying and there are so many that are all for the chaos.
All I can do is show as much light as I can and regardless of anything rise above that chaos and only show the betterment of myself and always with love. What I hope is that continued actions shining what I’m talking about, will rub on like stickers of light.
So I said everything that I said throughout this entry, whether it’s knowledge whether it’s just a perception, I hope it is perceived as knowledge or at least a soft knowledge and just what can be okay and can be right but then we get on the semantics of right and wrong.
And I’m tired.
Goodnight and Good morning. Good morning and Goodnight.
Nosce Te Ipsum
I hope your week and weekend was gracious while being pleasant.
Ever have a song that you connect with? Or the communication from singer and group touch you somewhere deep and personally tied through a shared understanding?
I found The Hics around two years ago and, if I was to say that was bad timing, it’d be an overly egregious lie. Ill get back to this…check songs Lines, Tell Me, and Float by The Hics
Relationships on their meaning, friend to friend, brother to brother, sister, teacher workmate, what have you. There is a tenuous thread that seems more than fragile nearly like fine China, porcelain, or the more malleable but still fragile, Playdoh.
Speaking of friendships, I have one and he’s 85 and the few I have had since last year, I found I had squandered some bridges and one’s big enough that I had to sever the ties to benefit the survivability of my own relationship with my wife. Which brings the other tests in holding a relationship, especially a marriage. This is more than fierce, more than fear-inducing and more tender and, or rapturous depending on circumstances then I’d ever imagine.
As a younger man, being I proposed at 20, not knowing I would be graced with a child who has autism and is nonverbal, that I’d get diagnosed with MS seven years after, and that I was not at an appropriate and mature level for when I initially got married. It was a whirlwind of mind-blowing stupidity and aggression. Even still I loathe the young man I was, I’d beat the s#¥° out of him, but I’m here now. I’ve grown and I will continue to grow and learn from the mistakes I’ve made so as not to repeat them.
Anyhow the music, the relationship, the coincidences. The Hics happened to pop up right around the time of our relationship starting to disintegrate, as it is, the dichotomy of our differences and what drives our purposes are… Just that they’re different. The lyrics and heavy tones beat at a tired heart and my pained ears but it’s the addressing of the natural aspects to the lyrics. The similarities and the incessant calls for a hopelessness but a yearning that it can be rectified throughout each song I’ve listened to of theirs. I still listen, still try and try to be the better man I want to show and…hugging the cactus is taking and draining like never before. January 22nd post will go into detail here more and more
Good night good morning. Good morning good night thank you all for the support thank you all for continuing to come back.
Nosce Te Ipsum
So today is more or less I guess quote day Tuesdays will be quote day and honestly I’ll probably just bring quotes in every time I find something that is either revealing upon just what I see what I obtain and how I observe or the likes of just what it is to be I guess what we are human.
This one is one that I’ve definitely written down more times than once again from a stoic there is something I appreciate about the accountability of being aware that at some point our decisions will come to an end our lives will be done and what decisions and steps and actions we make from birth to that end not only sets us either within Grace or far far from it.
“We are always complaining that our days are few, and acting as though there would be no end of them.” –Seneca
Now if you would, like I do on most days, really when I read anything, I ponder, I let my brain try to absolve within the words that I’ve collected and not insert myself into that quote directly, but take from it into my own perspective, my own actions, and how often I complain.
But ask yourself do you complain are you like so many others kind of matching that quote? I know I am, and I’d gladly and willingly take accountability to that. I b**** and moan about difficulties with nfts the dichotomy of Art and digital art and how, though they’re so much the same, there is such a sensitive divide between those that take action with their own hands through both angles or through just one and then the way they spit on one another. And yet they’re both art and the art that is stemming from whether it’s their own or what they saw or what they remembered and how they were raised. It’s another argument that has to do with free will is it actually their creation or is it a creation from an idea that they saw from Van Gogh, Hussar or O’Keeffe? What takes away the originality and Independence of creating art when it’s all art? Whether it’s digital, whether it’s physical, whether it’s a painting. It’s something using Adobe and a bunch of other things that are all using a computer system and coding but oh wait I’m doing the same thing with my brain aren’t I? We are using a computer within and outside of ourselves, how is there truly, how is there a difference or is the ego jumping into the way of that argument, know what I mean?
So I asked this question because I have just been Grace with the opportunity to make good amounts of money to the point where if I do it right I can legitimately pull myself out of the working 9:00 to 5:00 type of job. All to have the freedom to provide for myself, for my family, and be present with my son every day while also doing school, getting to make art, and write.
So the question is was this though I’m pretty sure there’s a lot of questions in this day nine. Do I take the jump? Do I take the risk and take the chance?
I’ve asked two people make that three however the third I have yet to get a response one tells me to be cautious the other one tells me they know very little and wish me luck while the other is an artist and I feel I’m not getting an answer because well maybe the reason is sensitive or maybe the fact that it’s my sister who is also an artist doesn’t want me to know those steps without being involved. I don’t know I don’t know the questions there and I’m kind of at a ‘Hit or Miss by Odetta thinking.
Signing out thinking about taking the jump making my first minting of something I truly created by myself and truly enjoyed and loved and thinking about making the opportunity of changing my life. I don’t know this is day 9 this is day 9 of a new year of change and the rest of my life what should I do?
Goodnight and Good morning.
Nosce Te Ipsum