Dream Dark Stories

Tag: music

  • Day One Hundred & Fifty-Five, June 3rd, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Damn, it’s the fourth already. I’m editing for the third, and I’m adding this on the fourth, dammit, dammit…f***, sometimes life just kind of gets you by the balls doesn’t it?

    Something happened today though, something that resonated with me deeply, and I haven’t been able to shake the thought, which I think is likely a good thing.

    The MS has been kicking my ass, right? I have definitely let it happen to take precedence when there is no need. I panic with worry when dealing with prominent symptoms. But, there’s a thing to that, these symptoms, these are typical symptoms that are cause and due to the damage that has been afflicted to that of the myelin sheath of my spine and the spots in my brain. That’s why the symptoms are there, not something new… I don’t know how I could have been so stupid? I had assumed due to the reaction and incessant lengths, it was having to do with a new issue…it wasn’t. Why to think so absurdly? And to assume that the symptoms I am and still deal with were more than what I’ve been dealing with.

    I wasn’t mentally obliterated with the details shared from my neurologist, I was enlightened…and this coaxing comfort came with this new knowledge.

    ENJOI!!!

    Okie dokie, I know that’s cheap, a cheap take for playlists. Most of the time they’re planned and we’ll, these are the favorites, usually played when cleaning or starting my art. I hope it’s enjoyed.

    So to find that my pain and the issues are to stay the way they are, this is a new norm for me that I need to be okay with. It’s if it changes to something apart from what is known and familiar, that’s when it’s time to call the Doc.

    I know.

    ‘How can I be so dumb?’

    Okay, so real quick, this isn’t some self-deprecating comment, it’s simply an observation of the simplest fashion.

    My own health being how it is, not understanding that the sensations being felt are something I’ve become familiar with, though there are days where it’s more than it is or more than the day before, the week before, that’s to be a different discussion. But it’s the case, it doesn’t mean anything other than having a bad day or a Bad MS Day. That’s it and I made it more than it had to be. I’m grateful that I finally have the awareness and understanding that that’s just the new norm. I don’t know, I guess it’s like stamping it with finality.

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May the night be bliss, may the day be greatly comforting with resolve to the issues.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day One Hundred & Fifty-Three, June 1st, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    It’s the first. S***, doesn’t it seem like it’s just gone too quickly?

    I document daily, journal hourly, and still I’m looking around, trying to figure out where the hell the time has gone. I step forward and have been, but for some odd reason, the idea of it being nearly half of the year behind us, it’s almost unsettling.

    A favorite of mine. Original or instrumental, either way, she conveys the pain.

    But there are heavy hesitations. Though these hesitations are tied mainly to my health, and my health is directly tied to my all being,l. So it leaves me wanting to figure it out enough where I can get back to schedule, start dropping the continued story of Joel and the Box, start with some new edits and painting drip drops.

    Pillar Three shouldn’t be a difficult passage for me as it’s a matter of being able in finding beauty and art in my surroundings. To be able to interact with this beauty and artistic flow, which I think is something that, thankfully comes naturally.

    Part 3 for Forget-Me-Naught Redux is coming, health and other shit going on in life took precedence.

    ENJOI!!!

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May the day bring blissful  reprieve Thank you supporters and readers. Thank you for coming time and again till tomorrow.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day One Hundred & Fifty-One, May 30th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Like a deepest ocean.

    In a position where I’m to stay still, to sit sedentary for the next couple hours left of the Infusion and I’m bored lonely, and wanting to crash.

    ‘CLEAN’

    It’s my infusion day. I’d share more visuals but given the environment and privacy of others, that’s all you’re going to get, sorry.

    How about that sign though, right? Hahaha.

    So, let me tell you a story. Originally, I was completely against the idea of Ocrevus. I was more than apprehensive to doing the Ocrevus and asked my neurologist ‘is this worth it? Is it going to kill me? Am I going to be okay?’. He said ‘well you’re progressing and you just keep progressing so I don’t think you have any other choice than to take the gamble‘. I was patient with that information, I talked to my wife, my brother, even John. I thought of prospects, I thought of JCV, my life in the future but at the same time, I was also feeling a bit of pressure. Regardless though, I did take the gamble and I just finished up my second infusion.

    I say this because, the first infusion parts one and two of that first run was a bit rough but only a brief bit. I did deal with some fatigue the first day or two after getting the infusions but that was it. I whooped and hollered, jeered, and yahoood the idea of this medication. That was for about a week or two, where I popped out a bunch of art and I was able to do a bunch of school work without a hiccup. Everything was great and then that shifted and everything got a lot worse and stayed getting harder.

    And today everything hurts after the infusion was done, after getting home my body felt and still feels like it has ice and cinder blocks stuck in my joints, wrapped around my bones, and I am tired but it’s 1:50 am on the 31st and I can’t sleep and f***.

    ENJOI!!!

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May the day be bliss, may it be joyous, and gentle. Thank you for your support.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day One Hundred & Fifty, May 29th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    I had a tift with my spouse, and since I started a new regiment of medications and started seeing a mental health professional I’m feeling steady, I’m feeling reassured, and I have a sense of foundation when I speak as of late. Doesn’t mean I’m fully put together or anything but my arguments are sound, for the most part and they are not tied to an emotional sense, they’re tied to logic and I think this is a good thing. However, I’m finding that this relationship is something that calls for a tentative handling. My patience needs to be shown, my voice limited, and still the 80/20 is applied. 😮‍💨

    I shared this playlist beneath with a family member and though I understood their point, they said there’s something very sad about the music. I don’t know when I feel like a lot of my writing kind of depicts a good story of somebody that is a bit broken, struggling for grasping love and trying to find a good balance of finding myself while also making sure that I apply being there for her and my son. I’m tired, and I have my infusion tomorrow.

    I truly hope you enjoy the music. Again this is very much something special and dear to me these are very personal songs that I listen to casually and regularly

    C’est La Vie

    Enjoi, these are the personal ones, the close to the heart ones, I hope you enjoy, truly.  Have a beautiful day, stay safe, stay sound.

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May your life tonight go on into the bliss of the night, the coming day and wondrous future for you and yours.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day One Hundred & Forty-Eight, May 27th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    It’s an arts day.

    A cornea flower.

    Have you ever thought of how the simple act of assuming, traps that of the person you’re assuming is doing, or acting, or feeling, in assuming you’re essentially transferring that person to that of yourself?

    A Man  by: M. R. Vega (in production, acrylic and liquid-poly-clay)

    I know it’s a dizzying question, but think about it. If we are to assume that someone is thinking one thing when it all actuality they’re thinking of the rock that they kicked that fell into the gutter last night, what is it we’re doing when we assume? Are we leaving a hypothetical where there is nothing of actuality? Are we placing the answer that isn’t definitive solely because it’s what we want? And in assuming aren’t we actually trapping the person outside of the conversation therefore having the conversation with ourselves getting mad at ourselves for the idea that brought on the assumption? Again I know, dizzying. I’m not trying to create confusion, or a dizzying spell. It’s a simple factor of questioning. The who, the what, the why, the where, the how? Where are all the questions?

    A Man. By: M. R. Vega (liquid-poly-clay and mica)

    I’m not trying to create confusion, or a dizzying spell. It’s a simple factor of questioning. The who, the what, the why, the where, the how? Where are all the questions?

    The questions I ask, these are legitimate, for the fact that we’re alive, we have the benefit of conversation and the reward of listening and talking. They’re reasonable, these questions that is, because, well, in all actuality, that’s life. We assume, the same where we have opinions. They’re meaningful to us, due to the fact that they’re tied to us. They are an aspect of who we are. So finding an answer is what brings us a resolve that fills a little bit more of who and what we are here in this life.

    A Man  by: M. R. Vega (acrylic, acrylic pour, liquid-poly-clay)
    ENJOI!!;

    C‘est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. Thank you readers and supporters. Sorry I’ve been a bit off and late. Health and wellness is a serious thing. Til tomorrow.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day One Hundred & Forty-Six, May 25th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    I’ve certainly been off of my game, these posts are so late, the playlists lacking…ooof, not good, not good.

    It’s maddening. Silencing, numbing, with a daunting hesitance that calls to my pausing. I hold my breath, and wait for the chips to fall, at least that’s what it feels like I’m doing everyday with this anxious anticipation. However, I do feel that I’m starting to find a balance that will hopefully bring a gracious change. My fingers are crossed, I’m trying to be positive about it.

    ENJOI!!!

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, Good morning and good night. Thank you for your visit, thank you for the support and I hope you well.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Thirty-Six, May 15th, 2024. w/Poems and Art

    By: Matthew R. Vega

    A Call

    By: M. R. Vega

    A call to compromise, to outweigh the solutions and sow the soils, to turn left and exit.

    A call to compromise, throw a  towel forget the heart and burn to ash.

    A call to compromise, shift the weight, play the counter, don’t trip, better not fucking trip.

    A call to compromise, did your heart wallow at the stake, did your worry clap and whisper a faint goodbye, that hollow salute?

    A call to compromise, did the teeth gnash at the tether of that moral compass.

    A call to compromise, how down, don’t question, don’t ask a thing, not a peep, make sure you’re ready.

    A call to compromise, never play facetious, always fastidious, salute and bow out.

    A call to compromise, don’t diss, don’t reminisce, the past is dead, work here, work now.

    A call to compromise, change the being, become the mold, fit the clay or a design that has been lost, remixed, thrown, raped, pillaged, fit the mold, find the clay, wear it well, it do you true.

    A call to compromise, don’t matter, try not to stutter, mistakes be gone, don’t ask a question, become the mold, fit the clay find the heart to the design.

    A call to compromise, toss the key, throw out the books toss your mind, sell the rest. Pay no mind to being true, a holding to you.

    A call to compromise, hear the screams, hear the gate. A call to compromise, where the heart is no more. A call to compromise, where the spirit cannibalized. A call to compromise, take away the being of true, the meaning of you.

    A call to compromise, feeling empty, feeling wanted, filling despondent, adrift, barren, bone, and breath.

    A call to compromise, give it all, let it be, give it all, give it all, give it all.

    Pour for the Mountains by: M. R. Vega
    Gorilla with a Pyramid by M. R. Vega
    Gorilla with a Pyramid by M. R. Vega, 3/4 angle mixed mediums, pour paint acrylic, resin, water colour.
    Mixed mediums. Enjoi !!!

    Walk

    By: M. R. Vega

    Go, go, go. I know your pain, I get the struggle, like Sisyphus and the stone, go, go, go. Take it to the street, to.

    Go to the streets, take to the walk, parallel the city lights and the perpetual motion of the living.

    I call the streets like a mandolin leaving breadcrumbs to follow, to inhale for a connect.

    Extrapolate the result, a weight to the worry, the heart, stop, stop, just take to a walk, get away.

    Go, go, go, feed your heart the flame of what licks and gnashes behind, let go from a past long lost, nothing meant to be repeated, resurrected, revived for consumption, gnash and gnaw talk to the walk, take to go, go, go.

    Go, go, go, permeate through the walls, let the salt and mire bore through, take to walk, parallel the city lights, inhale the perpetual motion of the living, and find a hollow ground.

    Go, go, go.

    Go. Get away.

    Who? By: M. R. Vega (in production, acrylic on black canvas)
    Enjoi!!!

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May the joyous life of the world bless the heart extinguish the grief. May peace find you. Thank you.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day One Hundred & Thirty-Five, May 14th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Okie dokie everybody, this is going to be tonight’s documentation of exactly what is happening. My wife is fast asleep, the teenager/child/person-who-thinks-they-are-an-adult, and my little guy are also fast asleep. As a matter of fact, even the dogs are asleep, I am now outside in the shed, quietly smoking, with music softly playing. Unbeknownst to me my neighbors (though I should have known, given the f****** neighbor was mowing the lawn this morning and they never do that unless they’re having company), I mentioned this because of the pillar. The second pillar; Good personal and intimate relations, such as those of marriage, family, and friendships. Yeah, that.

    I’m grateful that what they’re doing over there, I’m not necessarily a part of, I’m also grateful that I get to more or less observe. However, I’m also doing this from at least 75ft maybe 100 ft away, they’re, I think, in the back patio section of their backyard with a projector, whereas I am on the opposite side of my yard in that shed of mine.

    So first I’d like to address that I don’t get it. I get the camaraderie, the affinity for sports and friendship, I guess on the analytic perspective; I don’t get what calls to being around so many people, so many emotions. 

    And I’m well aware that I’m kind of saying this out of my ass, as the simple fact is I came from a family of seven, with a s*** ton of people on both sides. I love the family reunions, and I love family get togethers, so why is the idea of a bunch of friends getting together to watch a sport something I cannot equate? To me, just the idea of it, makes me uncomfortable.

    Hearing the blase type of conversation, heavily supporting one team member to another foe of said team, supportive affirmations and talks back and forth. It doesn’t stimulate my mind and I hate that it doesn’t. What bothers me, is not that I think anything less of them, I just don’t get it, and I used to. I used to play sports, loved playing sports, nowadays the sensation and feelings are just not there. I’d rather watch a show with someone, have a riveting debate over thought and perspective. And I get that this idea that does excite, can translate to a parallel of what I’m questioning, so what has me cringe at the hoots and hollars of praise for a game won?

    Maybe, it’s sad, maybe it sucked, maybe it’s just not something that’s interesting to me. I don’t know but it’s still something that has me wondering if I’m broken.

    I can’t help but laugh at that, near hysterically, I am broken, in a literal health sense; I am.

    The game is won, some apparently lost, though they didn’t play, I question this connection, it’s just a game. Right? And how did someone lose, being on the back patio of a friend, watching a game? It’s rhetorical. I just smile and shake my head.

    This is the surprising factor, where, and what changed in my life, that I’m unmoved and only question how?

    I continue to smoke, listen to the recaps of game plays, retorts to fans of the losing team, the jeering from the winning team fans, and inquiries for more drinks, more smoke, more, and more.

    Maybe this is loneliness; perhaps this is depression, feeling isolated, withdrawn, sad, f***.

    Whoa, okie-dokie, this is something to get a bit more investigative here and peel back at what I’m questioning and why, I guess.

    Finding some resolve for my second pillar is going to take time. Lots…

    Enjoi!!!

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. Thank you for the support, I do know I have Forget-Me-Naught Pt. 4, it’s being edited and will be
    in the morning as will more art and poetry. Thank you and may the day carry you swiftly and gently.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Thirty-Four, May 13th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Forgive my losing track for a moment or two. Still very much on Pillar One taking a bow with it, and moving on to Pillar Two; Good personal and intimate relations, such as those of marriage, family, and friendships…has me feeling…well like this. ⬇️

    https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2012/05/03/151928781/the-scream-fetches-highest-price-ever-for-a-work-of-art

    This is a challenge, to say the least; I know so few, and the family I have near are over their heads in things to be done, surely exhausted and likely wanting time to themselves more than together. And of course this is an assumption, but I come with a weight. I’m the house spouse, at least as of late, and having lost the last two due to the MS makes the trials of finding a new and good job that much more difficult. That said, I come with but company, and conversation, a touch of art, some story telling, maybe.

    Here’s the thing, something happened a little over a year ago probably longer actually, that disrupted my comfort, and has in essence created a variation of me that is more than fearful just being outside. And I don’t mean being outside in the backyard with the dogs, I mean being out, I just went to the store on a walk, and the entire time had this nervous anxiety that followed. A pressure and fear that if I saw someone and they wanted to hug, talk, if not my wife, I better just walk away as fast as possible.

    That wasn’t me, I know we are destined to change, and I encourage change, I challenge you to change to be a better person as a matter of fact. Which is why I have this blog. That’s why I’ve been writing. And what I’ve noticed in just the last month addressing health and wellness for the first pillar of Jung’s, there comes a great lamenting in realizing there are so many parts to who we are in ourselves, that when you find these bits and pieces that you’ve destroyed or you’ve let others destroy of you, it changes the variables. And it makes life extremely easy to retreat, become a hermit, and the agoraphobia is more and more enticing than it should be.

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning you beautiful souls, good morning and good night. May the day be ever joyous, and may the night carry you swiftly and gently through the night.

    Enjoi !!!

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day One Hundred & Twenty Nine, May 8th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Are you light or are you the darkness?

    It’s a curious question, especially with little or no context clues to be had, this I know. But the question is still here, as well as the conversation if ever there can be one…(**The writer says wanting a response, knowing likely, no)…but do you ever look within? Do you question the moral and ethical value that is brought to each moment? Or is it something that depends on the occasion?

    I ask because I get the questioning, I get the fit throwing, panel pummeling, agony inducing stressors that call to us seeing a need for change, a halt to being what makes us comfortable, or a wanting to rid the adversity that leaves us, you, and all with the debate. Are the choices light or issued more toward a darkness…?

    I’m in my 30s feeling like to I’m nearing my 50s. Begging to be reborn to something new, something refreshed and meaning to make myself what I want, but there comes that initial question I brought. Will it be light or an issuing of darkness.

    The thing is…we each affect the world. As a matter of fact we’re human, and given the homophone of effect and affect, given the circumstances, I feel they pair well with the confusion they bring.

    We’ve seen it, the argument within the rhetoric of the political scene, these but seemingly innocuous words from one source or the other, bring a rain of force, fear, love, anguish, dread, support, balance, affirmations, dedications, salutations of a degree. Take your pick. Take the perspective that suits you well.

    But see what I’m getting at, through the uses of ethos, pathos, and logos, the emotional bantering of the heart and soul of our humanity effect/affect carry hand and hand. We’re too involved for it to not be.

    A lot on my mind, a lot still to do, life, oooh oh oh, life.

    Enjoi!!!

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May the day be a blanket of peace for you and the night cradle you to the dreams of splendor.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day One Hundred & Twenty-Six, May 5th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Cleopatra’s eye.

    It’s a shared moniker for that of a breakfast meal, typically known as a toad in the hole.

    Unknowingly I’ve been calling it Cleopatra’s eye since before I met my wife, and as a matter of fact it’s one of my favorite breakfast to make for the simple fact that it’s more than easy and it gives me an excuse to use in a ridiculous amount of butter because let’s be real, butter is delicious. And yes, to anybody reading, it does also share the name with what V makes for Evie in that of V for Vendetta; a wonderful Dark Horse/DC Graphic novel.

    Even though my intentions today was to talk about the initial set plan for the coming week Monday through Friday. But when looking up Cleopatra’s eye, making sure I was sharing appropriate details, I found not food but NGC 1535; a planetary nebula in the constellation Eridanus.

    This Hubble image shows NGC 1535, a planetary nebula located 5,500-7,500 light-years away in the constellation of Eridanus. Image credit: NASA / ESA / Bond et al. / Gladys Kober, NASA & Catholic University of America.

    Now I wasn’t necessarily dismayed, more just a bit perplexed that the entire time, since childhood I’d associated Cleopatra’s eyes to a salty and buttery, deliciously cholesterol fulfilling fuel. The thing is I’m a very big fan of space, very big fan of the James Webb telescope, Hubble telescope, NASA, and for some f****** reason I didn’t have Cleopatra’s eye connected anywhere to space. Just my tummy. Sorry about that.

    Anyhow diet has changed a little bit and having to do with the Cleopatra made I just like to share that making it with gluten-free bread is key or a dense type of bread. You want want the soggy bread later. Two slices and using a cookie cutter to slice the hole where you’re going to put the egg in, do an additional slice where you can put the egg white, if wanted. This gives the opportunity to have one egg yolk, protein jacked type of meal with the nice addition of an egg white as its own counterpart. It is delicious and I would suggest it would go great with either ham or bacon. I had sausage, not bad just not a very big fan of sausage unless it’s Italian sausage from Passkey. 😁

    Anyhow I apologize, today is weird, I have so many writing projects on my f****** table, or is it play or the magnitude of it I guess it would be a table cuz, well, no the plate now it’s already overflowed.

    Enjoi!!!

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I do thank you all for the support, the continued coming back to read again and again. I do wish you well, I do wish you peace.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Twenty-One, April 30th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    The synchronicity, a causal effect and coincidence…how can we amplify these meanings? The meaning of coincidence that is. I’d love to say I’m an advocate against coincidence but then digging into Jung deeper and deeper through the days…odd moments that have no definitive causal relation, and still, I question my thinking.

    Is this a constant for you? The questioning?

    What do you say, can you say that you are your best advocate? Or is it more you’re the best advocate for yourself and your worst enemy?

    This is something that doesn’t cloud my mind per se, and yet here I am asking the question. And with that comes the question that I originally asked about coincidence. How can we amplify the meaning and actuality to that of coincidence? Truly if you are a believer of coincidence that’s awesome, and I really mean that because let’us… let’s put it on the table.

    There is, what, 8.1 billion people on this f****** planet? Give or take a couple 100 million, right?

    And to think of causal factors that would create an ideal or perfect set up for a coincidence, but, I feel that’s hopeful, can it be something that we attribute to our understanding in ourselves? And for it to be a perfect development of coincidence, does it lose its being a coincidence? Better yet when you truly, truly weigh in on it, it then brings a thought of a collective conscience, and I think that’s why the idea of coincidence is something that has some completely deny, others completely accept willingly, leaving people like me where I’m going what the f***?

    Or is it something on a more scientific platform, needs the direct tie connected to that of the cause, the coincidence, and the person. But then that would call to knowing exactly what every single thing within that coincidence knew. Or for better divulging understood and was aware of The coincidence happening. Making it no longer a coincidence.

    Say coincidence again.

    I bring this to light and to posting today while editing due to staring up at the ceiling, well my son beside me sleeps his mama on the other side cuddles snuggles and sleeps too. The silence isn’t daunting, there’s not a w**** to it, there’s just a series of thoughts that permeate through everything else that I’m trying to do in my head the planning, the duration of thinking and how certain projects, certain objects will move and fall into place so things can happen the way it’s wanting to happen or the way I’m wanting it to happen.

    And I know what I’m saying may come off convoluted but, check this out, this is my f****** head and another reason why I think maybe sharing it online and doing the posts everyday is good. It gives a good collection of someone dealing with MS dealing, the infusions, working though life with a kid who has autism(nonverbal), school, being the house spouse, being the dad, being the husband, and it amounts to what I can put here, but I can detail in what goes through my head, and it keeps me at least on my feet knowing that tomorrow’s another day, and my future is something that I can manage, I just need to figure it out first. Anyway I think I’m signing out I’m exhausted. Have a good day.

    Enjoi!

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May the day be gentle, May the night be graceful.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Just because…

    Hi-ho and hello!

    Little music shout out to a specific song, one that I have found hasn’t left my Spotify collection and still acts as a Oodie for a fragile heart given the time in life. But let’s be real, life is tricky to manage, a trial of excursions repeated to see where we fall and where we wipe the dust off to go ahead venturing on. I may not be associated with religion, but my heart and its spirit bloom daily, wanting to shine as I hope you all do the same.

    And yes I’m belting it out like I know the operatic style! Enjoi.

    So I ask that you keep your head up and keep pushing forward! You’ve got this.

    C’est La Vie

    As I stated over and again I truly hope your morning day and the night to come is graceful, effortless, and as gentle as a summer rain.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Thirteen, April 22nd, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    I’d like to wish a happy earth day to all, may we learn ways to rectify what we’ve drained from our home.

    Good afternoon, or whatever time it is wherever it is that you find yourself. Pretty sure I’ve got over fatalism a time or two at least in respects to just life in the way things delve into well, this. Two years ago this was an idea, though it was grandiose and obviously ill planned, I kept with it and continued with it. Thankfully I have some continuing readers and supportive bloggers and others like-minded that come back to like and I appreciate it. I am so appreciative of any of the support that I have acquired since I started this, and sadly there has been a friend or two that have been missed, or forgotten, however I strive on and I will continue to do this.

    I also had never planned on becoming an amateur editor for Mr. John Walker, and that alone not regarding what I’m doing here is a treasure if not so much more than that. I am more than grateful for everything that I’ve been able to acquire since I truly started doing the things I want.

    And this isn’t some nihilistic attitude. It more or less has aligned into following the practices of the Five Pillars for happiness in line with what I’ve perceived from Carl Jung.

    We have an insurmountable range of choices every single day, and I have made sure that every day and on and on, I continue to strive for not only lights, being good, but striving and doing the things that I have always wanted to do. And as a reader you may think that means jumping off the empire State building with a parachute, flying an airplane, hunting sasquatch, meeting famous people, but it isn’t. Don’t get me wrong those things would be nice, but since I was a kid I wanted to be a dad, to be a husband, a good cook, writer, artist, and singer. With the addition of any other things that contributed to what I just listed that I found that tickled my heart and brought me to life. In my past I’ve made some decisions that still have me kicking myself for being so damn foolish and impulsive, but again, we can choose to learn from these deliberations, or continue to make the same decisions that have brought us problems again and again. I choose to make a choice that brings change, light, and betterment. I just need to get the gumption to say no with confidence in my inflections.

    And that’s why I am writing today and also with the intention of kind of leaning into the first pillar for that of the mental space that we need to make sure we coax into accepting our changes for ourselves. As a husband, and dealing with the 80% leave her the f*** alone and 20% be there when needed, I try diligently to walk with my shoulders strong, head high, not letting the dichotomy dichotomy of the household relationship for both my wife and I to be cordial.

    I believe the biggest importance of maintaining wellness whether it’s in body or mind takes on a calling for the perception of how we let the world around us affect us. I can choose to be miserable, I can choose to be anguish, or like many of us, honestly likely most of us, it seems that we know we can choose to be happy for the loves that we have, the people that keep us warm, and the love we hold dear. It’s a choice, and I strive to aim towards a more genial and positive outlook.

    Playlist #0.16 – Enjoi!!!

    Now, about Forget-Me-Naught, Pt. 1 REDUX

    So for one it is a meaningful expose for that of a person aiming to do right with every effort leading towards detriment. It’s an egregious telling of choice and consciousness in our efforts. Are we always so sure what we’re doing is the best for everyone? Or is it just the things quietly and subconsciously wanted? Is it the white lie we tell ourselves doing this into thinking happiness is right around the corner? I want to journey through that investigation, what created the chaos that the detective Rachel is trying to pull from joel, what is the box in its entirety, and if he’s admitting about the death of his own brother but denying that any of the three that are known to be dead are solely due to his choosing and his action, what are the details? And this is something that I would love to eventually encapsulate the titled site name Dream Dark Stories.

    On a weekly basis, likely Sunday night/Monday morning, there will be a new part to Forget-Me-Naught. And though I have some ideas about the detective and having her own story outside of what we’re reading in Forget-Me-Naught, any other additional story that isn’t to do with Forget-Me-Naught, is going to drop sporadically. As for now I’m still trying to build up a bit of a base and some more supporters but still leading with the intention of wrapping up a small anthology collection of whatever it is I’ve provided within the last year.

    And with that I bid adieu. May your night, morning, day be forever grace with light and wonder.

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I truly would like to take a moment and thank every single person that has come to read, has come to take a gander even if for a minute, I am grateful and honored to know that I’m at least doing something enough that it calls to someone. And I thank you for that I do wish you a blessed day, or night.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Twelve, April 21st, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Originally, I had thought that maybe the health and mental wellness for pillar one of Carl Jung’s would take approximately a week. However I didn’t connect the totality of being the stay-at-home dad about 24/7, school, which I totally bombed the report I should have done, and the actual health of my friend John whose memories we’ve been editing and writing together. It’s a lot, and there are times where I think it’s not because I take into account the time where I relax a little bit, whether it’s watching a show with my wife, going outside to play with the dogs and my son, reading, art, writing the blog even, to an extent I connect it to an extracurricular activity. The thing is it’s so much more than that isn’t it? Taking the time, being cognizant of taking that time to be with my son, to be with my wife, to build up the relationship with the dogs, especially Lobo Blanco, that camaraderie is needed. And though it is the parts of my life that are more than incessant as in they are right there all the time, not counting of course my wife the teacher who’s busy all times. Taking care of that a family and the connections that are maintained and strong, they, in tow with staying on top of it, being conscientious of being a part of everybody else that you’re involved with, it genuinely does feel good. Shouldn’t it feel good?

    There are aspects to the questions asked above that do have to do with the five pillars especially when considering the ties to friendship, family, a resilience within ourselves that are tied to the aspects outside of the home that we each carry with us wherever we go. And of course we will get there but I didn’t think about how very prevalent and quite honestly absolutely obvious that bodily health and mental health both need to be paired together and of course with that said, there needs to be a cognizant attribution to how we acquire this knowledge and continue with it and taking care of our health both for our body and our mind.

    That said, Google’s Balance does help, however I don’t go to it enough, or use it consecutively throughout the myriad of many many weeks that have flown by to say that Google’s Balance is variable that can actually be counted as a stone to be used. It is a great variable to see if it can be used for you, when I plug in with my headphones, what I want to hear is music, or if I’m watching a show what’s to pair with that show. Now if I want a mental health coaching and massaging to an ego That should be tamed and the variables that make me I don’t know hard to deal with or make me just the character to be ?? It leaves me with a I don’t know. But with that being mentioned I do know that Google’s balance does help and has helped, it does slow my rate down it does have me think within and watch and question my actions and why is this what upsets me, why is this and the words that were told or directed towards me, why is that affecting me so? And that there is why I’m talking today, I feel that for everyone, the reader, not reader, YouTube streamer, the many that do the Doom scrolling every day, those that are watching the today show tomorrow morning, the people that have the CNN News ticker on the screen all day everyday with the monotonous tone of news report after news report after news report, for everyone, and yes even you. I feel that it is in us, ourselves and in knowing the self that drives you, me, us forward and has us all looking up. It’s the awareness that we can be better, and to sweeten that pot the wanting to be better, wanting to be something that is an adversary no matter what darkness is faced to you and yours. It’s being able to acquire the knowledge, and acquire the resilience to know the difference from the actions before that defeated you and the actions in the future that will better you and all that you touch. To which is why I think the first pillar is the biggest one that needs to be focused on. That mental health is one of the biggest things that truly truly needs to be completely have a responsibility for. But of course this is just my thoughts, and this is my thinking with everything else going on in my life but still it’s mine, or is it, is it Jung? Is it the reading or a collection of thought that in the collective accrued a variable that matched a feeling within?

    But that’s it isn’t it? Even with Carl Jung there is that kind of call to trusting yourself, trusting your gut, that intuition, and knowing there’s more or that the substantive evidence that you having in your hand can be used to better everything you do from here on out. But then again I come from a view of light, I know the world is shrouded in darkness, at least I’m aware that s*** is hitting the fan all around us, that chaos is at the door half the time, and the thing that has me gripped, having me stand here resolute not moving, posting everyday, is knowing life is too damn short and too damn beautiful to not give a f***. I do apologize for my frankness to anybody reading and finding this rude. This is an op-ed piece. Most if not all of what I write in my daily Post is just that. Because that’s life and it comes with feelings and he comes with her reaction and may our action is to share the feelings the intention thought perceived and what I think could be better. Doesn’t mean I’m right it doesn’t mean I’m wrong, it simply means I have an opinion like an a****** which everybody has and mostly everybody stinks. At least I haven’t met somebody with an a****** that smells like roses, you?

    Anyhow I do apologize for the curt addressing, I am also editing ‘Forget-Me-Naught REDUX Pt. 1’ and trying to get that dropped shortly after I post this so forgive me. I do wish you well and do hope you come back to read a story I’ve been working on for a long time this is probably edition 82, personally I think it may work and I’m really hoping for an opinion from any of the readers that come by all means please share. And I hope you love the music as always.

    Playlist #0.15 – Enjoi

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night to all of you, to every person, whether you’re reading this or not, whether you give a crap or not, I wish you well and I hope you have a wonderful night and a wonderful morning with the day that’s graceful and pleasant. Till tomorrow.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day One Hundred & Eleven, April 20th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    I am going to be making a segway today as I’m just realizing a big part of me and the things that aid, fuel, inspire, and move me are cinematic explorations and I’ve never shared this. I love the riveting narratives, or phenomenal character dynamics, the scripts that make palms sweat, and the nuances to the allegories that bring fiction barring down hard on reality with a peculiar meta relevance.

    The thing is though, like my music tastes, my movie and TV/streaming interests stretch through from silent films, to the Hitchcockian and Sterling Craze of the 50s and 60s. Growing up on OG Trek repeats, Matlock, Perry Mason, and Unsolved Mysteries with Robert Stack…because I was with my grandparents a lot growing up. Especially my Granny. But then on the home front growing up, religion was a force in the home bringing a lot of rules and siphoning off a large collection of things I never watched including things like Ace Ventura (never seen, and likely won’t).

    I remember the biggest change though, it was 1999, 2000 when we were living in Washington, Marysville. I remember the VHS in the bookcases of that house with titles like Swingers, titles like Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Dark City, and 12 Monkeys, The Matrix, in the myriad of others that looking back at it now, those are the titles I can remember, those are the ones that I knew were the adult only. Looking back at it it’s laughable but not why I’m here today to talk.

    The more freedom I met growing up, the more adventurous with film I became appreciating the B films available at Walmart and the wide array available at the rental store or my Grandma’s well organized VHS library found throughout her house.

    The thing is I found that I loved this style of story telling and truly started appreciating movies, shows, and shorts. Now you may be asking what this has to do with Carl Jung and the Five Pillars, and you know what? The fact is that when it comes to the mental health and balance, I think that’s where we really need to go on that introspective search and find the things that truly help us calm down aside from meditation or using balance with Google. I think it’s best that we kind of create a hybrid adjustment to how we balance and soothe ourselves in a conscientious manner. For me it’s been film and even the silver screen, I do appreciate TV, as a matter of fact I’ve been a massive fan of Serenity, Hannibal,Mentalist, Sherlock Holmes, and the likes of many many a TV show. As of late I’ve been getting into Canadian comedy and have heavily relied on the humor of the British persuasion because well from what my wife says I’m not Mexican. So why not roll with the punches, I guess. Sorry, I digress, that’ll be a discussion for another day.

    Playlist #0.14, * Dilruba remix is a great addition for cleaning, especially those damn finicky dishes and the laundry monster

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning I do Cherish having capability honor of being able to provide whatever it is I do, and even I think I’m trying to figure out that well also going through life and realizing being a stay-at-home parent especially the kind of sales I want I mean a lot more involved and trying to adjust that is taking some time so I do apologize. And if she was a gentle day against the night and gentle sleep hours of darkness.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Nine, April 18th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Mental health is definitely a big deal and I respect those that understand this and know that it takes wisdom and a conscientious effort in making sure we each respect that benefit of willpower to making sure that we are better for ourselves.

    Sadly I don’t know if it’s the stresses of life, marriage the wantings of life love and the pursuit of happiness, the consistent and persistent my gosh journey for happiness and quality within ourselves, I wish I knew, truly I wish it was something that I can fully understand but with the few books I’ve read in the handful of philosophies I found myself to lean towards or agree with it still seems that the year 2024 most of us are trying to figure it out still most theories are continuing in trying to find a grasp.

    But it seems that with the incessant and clear knowledge that change is a complete relevant matter, as it is one of the constants, that is, when it comes to our emotions; our well-being, the routine, the getting familiar. When that changes, depending on who you are and how your upbringing, whether society melded you or nurturing hands did, the manifestation of oneself within the matter of change, is all going to depict a different story. Meaning: every time we’re faced with that adversity of life-changing, say a divorce, the death of a family member, the loss of the family dog that takes months, months, and months to find but still the search goes on. It calls for an adapting, a growing, but to say you’re done learning and to say you’re done growing is only and not being able to see the avenues where you can grow or learn.

    Personally, my head space…needs some love, a tending to the trimmings within, but, it also ties to my overall health where there are blots of space in my brain that have died. Hmmm? I stick with it I guess right? We find the issues we can and rely on the ability of our minds to see the mistakes repeated and then make an effort to change, to avoid the routines that have mucked up the path of each.

    I use Memento Mori, Balance, and maintain my artistic continuing with writing, poetry, and art.

    Speaking of…hope this is enjoyed.

    Untitled – M. R. Vega, Caran D’ache NEOCOLOR II AQUARELLE

    I guess that’s what it is when life is life, you see points of action, or a need to address things to be taken care of and we react. Whether that reaction comes with a positivity or that of the negative I think it’s on each of us. Not only that it calls to being accountable and not blaming everything else in your world for the things that are affecting or creating this beguiling in life. And I know I say that with a myriad of complaints or yapping about struggles but that’s also what I’ve been kind of addressing just fact that there’s such a difficulty to maintaining and continuing on one path. Anyhow this is certainly a late edit and drop I thank you very much.

    C’est La Vie

    I truly appreciate you, just for coming and glancing even for a moment. And to everyone I do wish a very wonderful morning and blessed good night. And to those a good night and a graceful morning to come.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Seven, April 16th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Life doesn’t just throw a lemon, life throws a weight that comes with a fear I feel I’m too familiar with, especially in the last few years. But I’ll address that in the morning to come. Back to the first pillar and goals I’ll share for if they work and how the MS works with or against the goals. I have noticed the productivity comes with complications, whether it’s ADHD or the MS, likely both, I’ll try to take account in mitigating this and finding further clarity. Now…Productivity and my efforts…these two are like oil and water. They should pair together, you would assume that they would. It’s one of the few things, scratch that, it’s one of the new things I found to create those productive plans and have found that, though the intention is there and the proof of intention is written, there’s the implementing said action and finalization. This is where I shake. It’s where my mind shifts, and when I realize it, I’m an hour and a half into a new project or continuation of something far from the initial wanting.

    So, tell me if I’m losing it, but I’ve been going to bed when I’m tired, usually around 12:00 a.m., maybe 1:00 a.m. and have set a group of early alarms from 5:00 am to 5:15 a.m. each morning starting last week. note: I do take minute catnaps through the day, but enjoy being on my feet.

    So to focus on Pillar One and the routine I plan on using this awake time in the early morning to bring a more focused heart and mind to doing Tai Chi, stretching and a portion of small workouts then to starting my day.

    I try to set a general plan for the whole of the week starting at Monday

    The intention is in maintaining a core strength and a vitality for the mind. It’s something I yearn for as I’d like to be in sync with life and that of what’s around me.

    We’ll see how it goes.

    More Music. I hope you Enjoy!

    Playlist #0.10

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and goodnight. Again for anybody who does ever come to dream dark stories, one I apologize that there aren’t very many stories as of yet, same with the art, life comes with its changes, the only constant in our lives. Anyhow I appreciate all of you, I love the support and truly love that there are some and I hope more to come that always come back to either check in or just see what’s going on thank you.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Sharing a Tune

    I tried introducing my son to Cloudkicker, and eventually he’s grown to enjoy a large array of their songs. But there’s one specifically that resonates with me, and most especially when I see my boy close his eyes to the song while it permeates through the wood and cushion of the home. Lately some news has come and it has me rattled a bit but I try to find strength from the music and the inclination of the rhythms. Become bigger and find that strength in knowing you are a giant, so I share:

    Enjoi

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Five, April 14th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    So I did the math, the math of the 80/20 when it comes to relationship and time with my spouse. Just a regular day of working and not working and that’s from 7:00 to 4:30 then the rest of the day but 4:30 to about 10:30, but when she’s starting to drift sometimes 11:00 on a good day. So if a typical day following the 80/20 wish of hers, that means I am to stay out of her hair for 4.8 hours. So real talk the six 6.5 hours that she’s home and work isn’t going on or getting ready for work I am to stay out of her hair for 4 hours and 40 minutes so that’s an hour and 20 minutes. I don’t know, I feel there is something to talk about with this, but back to what I’m getting to. Upon realizing this and going about the first pillar of Carl Jung’s

    I made some goals and I’m gonna try to implement these starting this week. but that’s also while trying an arrangement of sorting and organizing my office and art studio, hopefully moving my son’s big-boy bed to his room and switching it with the massive playset bed for a curb alert and off my hands. And the painting that’s coming up…this’ll be fun.

    Goals

    Tai Chi. This will be something continued every morning. I’ve only done Tai Chi a handful of times though, so I’m motivated to gain a conscious grasp of my temple.

    Stretching – this a need for incorporating to my daily routine, there is definitely a call in needing to stay limber and ready for life, especially having to do with my son now a days.

    Water intake

    Protein

    Walking daily – I don’t promote running as I’ve come to find that it is more than damaging to my joints and my spine, especially now. But I’ve found that a fast paced walk covering over a mile daily has been a benefit. Honest,  I’ve become lazy with putting in an effort for my health so this I’m excited for. Especially with the prospect of some audio books or good tunes to carry the time by,

    Protein

    Water intake…

    Daily Workout – Maybe something chill … 30 push-ups, 15 pull-ups, 3×20 squats, jump-rope, but this I have to take cautiously and be mindful of the energy output and time to gain that back. I’m thinking two to three times and then a day of rest as I’ll be doing a myriad of other things throughout the days and weeks to come and on.

    Did I mention water?

    Punching Bag – this, though not new, hasn’t been done since pre Covid times, I’ll first need to find a spot for the 100 lb bag, then hoping it isn’t going to entice my dog to rip it to shreds, to make a couple minutes a day wailing into it and work on building up how long and how much I can put into building up my stamina.

    More hydration.

    These will be the tools I use to build up my body and create a solid foundation for maintaining my health and cleanliness.

    Then comes Cleaning…it’s active and keeps me going. Plus I’ve gotta get things organized so we’ll be sharing the Office space, the Art studio, and plans to be involved more through daily sharing and I think I may start posting this to IG too.

    There’s more to be done, more time to delve into the mental space and decluttering but first comes the actual cleaning and this will be practiced and shared. But I’m tired and tomorrow is going to be a doozy. Plus Part 3 of Stuck and Part 1 of Forget-Me-Naught by M. R. Vega. Oooh what a week to come?

    Playlist #0.8

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night to all of you readers, supporters, and bloggers. May your day to come be peaceful, the current one be graceful and the future be a gift.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Four, April 13th, 2024

    Hello and Hi-ho.

    We’re here to address the First Pillar of Jungian Philosophy and likely we’ll continue with the first pillar within the journalistic stance for the next week. The primary aim is good health for the body and mind.

    Let us start with the body right? Or do I take a Duo project attempt where I focus on both? I guess it’d be more practical right? What I do know is this depending on impact and push I’ll be passed out tomorrow and the next day exhausted so there is a persistent call to be mindful of what is too much.

    However food is one thing that I have been maintaining well and effectively, which would be Hellofresh. It certainly brings in a range of different recipes, and a conscientious effort in not going to the fast food menus that are on my phone and our son’s mind often because that kid just loves him some french fries.

    I digress, sorry about that. Both EveryPlate and Hello Fresh are great brands, though they are the same company, one offers more order and a bit of a step up in creative palate for the flavours on board, however they both always satisfy. And I can stand by that, even for the pickier of eaters,  the food satisfies and delights each time. Now, when you’re looking at benefiting your health account and cooking in aim to provide the appropriate assessments each body needs. Luckily the sites for both Hello Fresh and Every Plate are easily manageable and made to be modified for each cook and home.

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. Thank you supporters and readers I wish you a cherished day and pleasant night.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

    Playlist #0.7

    There will be stories coming soon, had to rewrite a character, and an intro for the big one I’ve been planning for years. But this is being kept on a back burner for a reason but we’ll get to that another time as we’re talking Pillars and not writing.

  • Day One Hundred & One, April 10th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    So this damn MS is the degradation of the myelin sheath (that’s the shield component that’s wrapped around the spine and the nerves). In essence what is happening currently and daily, hourly through life the myelin sheath is eating itself away, making it where all the nerves around whichever areas are highly impacted, they get damaged and die.

    So a couple months ago I panicked and somewhat demanded my neurologist to set up some scans and double check to make sure everything’s good. The reasons why was due to my face starting to get droopy, my gaite was changing, my sense of time, and conversation, a finding the right words… it’s become more difficult and more difficult.

    What I find humorous is when you go and do appropriate research, the findings for testing of Ocrevus are adequate to the ordeal it addresses. Positive, most definitely. However there’s the John Cunningham virus (JCV), a type of human polyomavirus. And when using Ocrevus and a myriad of other medications for many different purposes, the JCV can be reactivated for those who test positive. Guess what?

    That’s me!!!

    I am positive for the JCV, I am noticing a large amount of changes, enough that I’m needing to have my cane around, a lot, and it doesn’t seem the MS is slowing…yes I lament. It is something that sucks much more than you can comprehend and I don’t mean that rudely.

    Thing is I’m very proud of the strength and ability I have to provide for my son and my wife, and more and more it’s getting hard, it becomes a struggle to communicate appropriately and in a sense of old manner that can be understood, and I’m starting to lose a matter of strength when it comes to having fun with my son playing and roughhousing, wrestling, tickle fights, and piggy back rides. To top that there’s this matter of anxieties and concerns of health, because if life expectancy is cut short, my wife is on her own with our son. And this little guy, truly my lights for everything, is nonverbal with autism, and he needs somebody there, most of the time. He loves the tiny community he has with his parents and the therapist that he enjoys company with and the occasional uncle or two that come by. But outside of that what he loves and truly seems to want every day no matter what is his parents and the idea of not being able to be here for him something that sucks. So that’s again why I’m here to talk about taking advantage of living each day as best as you can and as fortuitous as possible. Live out life as best as you can.

    Playlist #0.5

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I truly hope you wonderful supporters and readers have a beautiful day and beautiful night and that life on is beautiful and wondrous.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • A Quote

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Trying to be positive through life calls for a large amount of energy doesn’t it? At least this is something that I find through the days that creates a lamenting for the time, for this unforeseen loss of something forgotten but it’s due to a dedication in maintaining being a pillar for those we raise, for the ones we love, and want to bring happiness to.

    I feel Aurelius grasps a sensational idea of the emotions we hold to burden our hearts and minds daily and how we process the anguish, the frustration, and how much we let it become a fastidious adversity to our wholes.

    I talk from experience, as I let so many worries and anxieties become an object and variable to the completions of the days. In just being a partner to my wife, guiding my son toward being somewhat independent, at least enough to ask for help for himself, and making sure the night ends on a good note, it calls for a methodical plan to being positive, refraining from the negative realities, even if they’re just from myself or an idea of us, it’s something that, yes can be thought of, but not given power to, given fuel for, in feeding the worries, in extrapolating to what it is that festers, you let it grow, and it becomes a manifestation that is harder to tame.

    The worst part about letting it build and gain momentum with the negativity is it does affect our souls, it curates the behaviours and the way we create to the whole continuing on due to the fears you let take hold.

    So if you find yourself gaining the firing red frustrations or liquid worries that flow from side to side within the head, take a rest, take a breath, and before you react take a nap.

    Going to try to close each post with a song or playlist. Hope you enjoy.

    C’est la vie

    Nosce Te Ipsum