Dream Dark Stories

Tag: life

  • Day One Hundred & Twenty-One, April 30th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    The synchronicity, a causal effect and coincidence…how can we amplify these meanings? The meaning of coincidence that is. I’d love to say I’m an advocate against coincidence but then digging into Jung deeper and deeper through the days…odd moments that have no definitive causal relation, and still, I question my thinking.

    Is this a constant for you? The questioning?

    What do you say, can you say that you are your best advocate? Or is it more you’re the best advocate for yourself and your worst enemy?

    This is something that doesn’t cloud my mind per se, and yet here I am asking the question. And with that comes the question that I originally asked about coincidence. How can we amplify the meaning and actuality to that of coincidence? Truly if you are a believer of coincidence that’s awesome, and I really mean that because let’us… let’s put it on the table.

    There is, what, 8.1 billion people on this f****** planet? Give or take a couple 100 million, right?

    And to think of causal factors that would create an ideal or perfect set up for a coincidence, but, I feel that’s hopeful, can it be something that we attribute to our understanding in ourselves? And for it to be a perfect development of coincidence, does it lose its being a coincidence? Better yet when you truly, truly weigh in on it, it then brings a thought of a collective conscience, and I think that’s why the idea of coincidence is something that has some completely deny, others completely accept willingly, leaving people like me where I’m going what the f***?

    Or is it something on a more scientific platform, needs the direct tie connected to that of the cause, the coincidence, and the person. But then that would call to knowing exactly what every single thing within that coincidence knew. Or for better divulging understood and was aware of The coincidence happening. Making it no longer a coincidence.

    Say coincidence again.

    I bring this to light and to posting today while editing due to staring up at the ceiling, well my son beside me sleeps his mama on the other side cuddles snuggles and sleeps too. The silence isn’t daunting, there’s not a w**** to it, there’s just a series of thoughts that permeate through everything else that I’m trying to do in my head the planning, the duration of thinking and how certain projects, certain objects will move and fall into place so things can happen the way it’s wanting to happen or the way I’m wanting it to happen.

    And I know what I’m saying may come off convoluted but, check this out, this is my f****** head and another reason why I think maybe sharing it online and doing the posts everyday is good. It gives a good collection of someone dealing with MS dealing, the infusions, working though life with a kid who has autism(nonverbal), school, being the house spouse, being the dad, being the husband, and it amounts to what I can put here, but I can detail in what goes through my head, and it keeps me at least on my feet knowing that tomorrow’s another day, and my future is something that I can manage, I just need to figure it out first. Anyway I think I’m signing out I’m exhausted. Have a good day.

    Enjoi!

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May the day be gentle, May the night be graceful.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Twenty, April 29th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Do you ever have those mornings when you wake up, look to the left, the right, down at your toes, back up to the ceiling, and beg your eyes to find darkness again?

    As of late, I have found that I tend to use this as a meditative release. There’s something about the talking, the mic, the editing, the sharing hoping that it’s something relatable, hoping that any reader sees and goes ‘crap I thought I was the only one’…

    But here’s the thing multiple sclerosis is a twat. The morning started out great, I had finished my school stuff, had finished the story, I was motivated. So motivated that I ended up wanting to make a home cooked school lunch dinner. Which means handmade breaded gluten free chicken tenders, super-silky, deliciously buttered mashed potatoes, and of course we got to have a veggie so why not corn? Right? So I go to the store, get all the things I need, hustle back home, finish up another art project, a little birthday gift for my wife. 

    It’s a Tea Hut.

    And this great feeling, this motivation and drive that I’m feeling it’s great. I’m very happy that I finished part 2 of Forget-Me-Naught. More than excited that I was actually able to not completely but turn in something that more or less needs to be turned in just for the capstone that I have at the end of the year, and make sure that I was able to run over to the store, pick up everything, and get back to the house in time before my son gets here.

    Side note: I don’t have a driver’s license, and I walk everywhere, due to my health this is something that is just a reality not great but whatever.

    Now here’s the thing, when you’re diagnosed with multiple sclerosis you’re given this montage of all the things that are going to happen to you depending on life, as most MSers, I’ve noticed everybody has different symptoms, some are relatable, others not so much. One of the things is mobility, this is a most relatable of issues I have found with the app most MSers use, called AboveMS. Walking. How about that? F****** walking, this is simple task, an almost archaic way of getting about, it’s now a trial effort every f****** day. So when I wake up and I’m feeling okay and the morning start getting everybody ready and out the door to school and work, if that hour hour and a half duration, I’m not dealing with bumping anything, tripping, falling, losing feelings or control of legs, I take it as a good one. And for the most part I can continue on through my day, today that’s not the case.

    I’m exhausted and I’m very nervous that the exhaustion is going to leak into tomorrow, which has another range of plans set for tomorrow, I pray that the energy stays, that the motivation is somehow hidden inside and only revealed tomorrow morning.

    Editing this, it’s not. The next day that is it hell fire on the spine and bones. Being 33 and dealing with those kind of pains, especially knowing a lot of these pains are felt by people in a geriatric stage of their lives, just has me so excited for graying out, fading out, God I’m f****** tired.

    So I’ve been kind of tilting the Jung theories, and I do believe in them and I do have faith in them as I feel that they will definitely help me. But when taking care of the mind and body and making sure they’re in sync, dealing with the above mentioned, it creates this odd stew of Life sewage. There’s moments where you want to celebrate but there’s the knowledge of knowing that the celebration may hinder everything after, I have weeds billowing out of my half circle in the front yard, I want to get them all taken out, and I’m going to, but then I have to plan ahead not just for getting the weeds, but for how is that going to affect my body for the next day and the next day in the day after that. These are factors that I hate to address, I guess it’s more of a nuisance and the new ones of knowing the effect action and energy use takes on the body. It’s a toll and it’s a toll that isn’t just $1.25 spare change from the f****** car kind of situation it’s a days worth of energy, a day’s worth of painting, of writing, of school work, house duties and so on. Which calls to making more plans, stretching out things, making sure that everything is lined up so I can make sure I take care of myself, and not bring the anger or irritation or anxiety of doing for others the way I like to do. Because truly, I love taking care of my family, I love cooking a meal getting really into it, setting the table, And when everybody comes to eat, instead of chit chat which I love, they are silent not because they don’t want to talk but because the food is too good to pause. These things bring joy. The same way taking care of my son everyday and being with him everyday brings Joy they’re necessities. It’s the planning, the planning and the arranging, the making sure I’ve got the time. And though on my Memento Mori app I have it set for I think 12 more years of life to be lived, I’m hoping for more, depending on the spinal tap we’ll see if it’s less. Who knows?

    It’s life though, one thing that I try to be aware of, everybody’s different, everybody’s life is set for their own path, their own destination, their own journey. And I wish you all well.

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May you truly have a beautiful day, gracious and awesome night and may your rest and peace be gentle and forever. Till tomorrow.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Nineteen, April 28th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Today I’m going to be very quick as a matter of fact, the reason why is I know I have at least two people who are awaiting Forget-Me-Naught Pt. 2, as well as trying to stay consecutive with an ample punctuality in posting it. I did say that I would have it up posted by Sunday / Monday

    That said and given that my Sunday as well as every other day has more and more chaos kind of coming our way, I’m finding that my hands are often more busy than I care to admit.

    To which I would like to simply state that for anybody who has a child with special needs, family member with special needs, or anybody in their lives with special needs, remember what they may show you, is only the surface of what’s actually going on within. My son nonverbal as he is, has shown a considerable amount of wanting. Wanting a friend, wanting a buddy, wanting his parents, and needing some support in his role. And sadly to my dismay it’s becoming very difficult for him to regulate, enough that he’s been hurting himself hurting his mom and dad, and inflicting his anger on himself and the things around him. It has called for a recollecting of foundation, support, a meeting in resolve to truly help him. So if ever I am late and dropping a post or if ever there is a time where I may be complaining, know that it’s true and the tiredness shared as well as the other things that are going on with life it’s all tied together and it’s more than exhausting.

    With that I’m going to be dropping a playlist, it’s a bit of an angry playlist, to which it’s not all that long but I’m pretty sure you can deduce. Hope you don’t consider that rude and I do wish you the best.

    Playlist #0.20

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. To those and any that ever come to this page, I do hope it’s known that I am greatly appreciative of the support and the coming back to check out what’s going on. I thank you very much.

    Again, Forget-Me-Naught Pt. 2, will be dropping today, Monday, I am editing it in and out while I speak and edit this that I forgot to schedule.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Seventeen, April 26th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Just one of those days trying to keep my head on my shoulders, keep my health up, and stop being negative. That is something that I realized it’s so easy to grasp,  negativity, that is.

    I’ll do everything I cannot to bring politics on to this site. Not something I want to step into or mitigate through the fire and brimstone that is politics. It’s just not something I like to focus on. My aim, as I’ve stated is really just trying to better myself as well as share what that betterment is aiding to, whether it be character, whether it be morality, ethical value, or the introspective of being appreciative for ourselves, of ourselves.

    I’m tired, I’ve been tired, and with that being said I am going to be clocking out, I’ve got a lot of school to focus on that I need. Which I will address in trying to bring something of value to the page. School has been a very big thing for me especially lately, regardless of the health it definitely helps me build up a foundation for myself, especially leaning towards the future, I am more than elated that I am in my last year. I’m very very proud of that and I am really hoping I can give myself a good shockabuku to help me realign and bringing more focus to school. However that said I’m not going to be not doing this I just really really need to get some things about hawthorne, winthrop, American literature and how it changed from the making of 13 colonies and on, I really need to focus on that right now so…

    Signing out.

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night you beautiful souls may you rest well, wake better than before and have a great day.

    Again lots of school, lots of editing and part 2 of Forget-Me-Naught, I will be back I just really need to put my focus on myself for myself for my future in education.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Sixteen, April 25th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    The beauty of Jung’s concepts for the Five Pillars is contemporary, nearly fashionable in the respects of how this philosophy can be practiced, and how its focus is to the whole of each individual.

    I, apparently got excited, and knowing the bit I’m familiar with of Jung’s Five Pillars I just jumped in and started focusing on the first pillar. This is all fine and dandy, if I wasn’t a student, wasn’t more entrenched in the totality of this concept, as I do believe it is a formidable way of building oneself.

    Now that said and given life is to purpose, is to breathe, is to life, is to continue and on…What is the purpose of this site? Well, it is to affect one, maybe more, but if one can be helped, touched, moved, then the purpose is true.

    Yes, I started this wanting to do the vlogging, with cooking and odd acting bits, op-ed discussions recorded and posted, bits of personal life with subjective narratives throughout, but life has its way in guiding doesn’t it, regardless of fate, dualism, choice, or philosophy, life has a funny way of bringing people to our door, our minds, and hearts in such a way that I’d be a fool not to question my reality. Or at the least pull back the layers to see where the bridge and tether of each person, icon, and talisman that create what we’ve become and are becoming to better understand.

    But, let’s start with this. What is beautiful about Jung’s concepts is the duality of becoming or creating each pillar through our manifesting who we are through accepting that of the darkness we each carry and the light that brings a valued balance to us each individually.

    There is this underlying in becoming aware of both aspects, both sides to the yin and yang of oneself. I find it profound that Jung aimed in being accountable for that, of the darkness within and how there’s a nurturing of that in knowing it’s there. The beauty of what separates Jung’s Pillars and the other philosophies is a call to being present of that awareness. Knowing we each have good days and bad with the occasional grey day hanging over us. But the power is knowing that we each carry a negative with us and that can’t always be hidden or ignored. Better yet it is in us to react not in a recoiling of that darkness within us, but to embrace it and use the power of that darkness as a fuel to better the light. The very addressing and knowing this I feel benefits the heart and knowing life isn’t always perfect, and rarely is, but us knowing ourselves and how we react to the adverse changes show that strength and show the character in us that brings a shining toward a collected and weighed advantage that can better us, you, and all included.

    All that said, the goal and intention is, yes, to share art, to share stories, but to also share a lived perspective in aiming to be the best of ourselves. With practicing in using philosophical stances with Jung’s Analytical Theory and Stoicism, I’m personally excited as I feel it will benefit and I hope I do well grasping the lessons, sharing the findings, and the collective for being our best.

    As to that, I do hope you all the best I will be signing out, hope you’re excited for part two of Forget-Me-Naught.

    Playlist #0.18 Enjoi!

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May the night the morning and the day be graceful, effortless, and beautiful. I do truly mean that and I hope you carry that to the next person you talk to. Life is too short don’t forget.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Fifteen, April 24th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Chimney frogging Christmas! My dearest apologies. I don’t know if it’s the MS that’s bad or I was just not paying attention when I was posting things earlier. I do apologize, though as I did edit and revise.

    However, it’s still embarrassing, especially in the last couple weeks actually. Though I try to hold a steady front in being a-okay, but I’m missing pieces. There are bits of these sections within wanting to do the plans, wanting to finish through and oddly it doesn’t happen. I just kind of freeze up and go to doing something else forgetting about everything else that I had planned. And of course, not taking to the passion-planner or really anything, just kind of losing track in it all and damn it f****** sucks.

    And that I think is the biggest thing that I need to keep in mind, if I push too much and pile on too much, all at once there’s this shaking of it, like a quick whip at a sheet, those thoughts and plans scattered to find a place it drifts to, but it’s in disarray.

    It’s called brain fog. And for us MSers, it’s a double-edged blade.

    For anyone who does have MS, that is multiple sclerosis any of the degrees of MS, or the myriad of many other neurodegenerative diseases, there are a few things that we all share. One that I found that I don’t know where all aspects it affects, but my grandfather has Parkinson’s and the MS but I’m seeing this very prevalent nuisance called brain fog, and when it trickles in it’s like having a frothing whisk in your brain.

    And sadly, it’s different for everybody, it’s not something that I can share and say this is how it is for everybody, this is what’s going to happen, or mine is worse, others are better. It is a factor though that due to how it affects the brain, the brain fog, it affects more, it affects the liveliness and the legs, it affects the reaction time, it affects the duration of motivation, wanting, doing anything active, the duration of any of those actions are limited at best and it creates these driving for achieving pillar one of Jung’s, a salted, poisonous thorn that I’d like to remove.

    Anyhow I’m signing out tonight I will be back tomorrow, I’ve got editing to do for Forget-Me-Naught Pt. 2, thinking about maybe doing an art aspect to the whole since I have been working on this for years, we’ll see.

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May you have a beautiful and gentle day, May the morning whisk you on gracefully, and the night comes to you effortlessly and in a pleasing manner. Stay safe and I’ll see you tomorrow, thank you.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Hundred & Fourteen, April 23rd, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    So in the line of Jung’s first pillar; health and wellness, there’s a call for oneself to be present and aware. And I feel that a lot of people who call for meditation, call for balance, yoga, hell even just a spiritual investigation into oneself calls for tying a tether to the current situation. And though I can’t remember the person’s name on Master class talking about meditation, from what I remember there was this intentional relief that the speaker gave reminding us, reminding us that it’s okay to drift off through meditation or what have you, whatever it is that you’re using to meditate.

    Which also, again I don’t have the Master Class anymore, and I forgot the name of the meditation instructor that was in the courses. And my memory is s*** I am so sorry. But one of my favorite things that this gentleman made sure to share, was that never ever is our mind empty, and it’s okay. To empty our mind is to shut down. At least that’s what I remember from the lessons.

    But thinking about it, looking at my own life, looking at hell even my wife’s life, my mind is constantly reeling, not in a negative position mind you, simply just thinking, it’s not something that you can just siphon off into the distance where you can’t be aware of it. I guess you can if you don’t want to be aware, but to me I find out laughable. Life is too f****** beautiful and too precious for us to go by plugging ourselves in every minute of the day.

    So anyhow Tuesday, a day that called for a lot of cooking, a lot of prepping, and a lot of planning. To which then opened up into a bit of a trip to the mall with the kids, and during all of it I made sure to be aware of the present. Making sure to hear my son chitter, or his belting screen, here are the laughter of my daughter and her buddy beside her, laughing maniacally, talking s*** about friends, and being presently cognizant of the Mrs driving and everything else going around, realizing to clear the mind, I don’t know if that’s something I’d ever want. I liked being able to grasp that earlier today. I like being able to go to the store with everything on my mind knowing I needed to do this, I need to do that, I need to talk to my professor, I need to go and finish the report, there’s so many other things I need to do, but at the same time there’s this call to be present in the moment because you may not be able to have an opportunity to go and make enchiladas again.

    And that that’s what I was making, enchiladas, gluten-free enchiladas on top of that and everything was homemade, but the thing is there was something about being present, and having my hands and mind and feet busy, though all of it hurt, there’s something reveling to be had in the joys of just being alive. And that’s something just through the first pillar which, guaranteed I’m nowhere near yet getting into the deepness of it, it seems that to be aware, and to be appreciative of the everyday monotony is what brings that simple happiness. And that’s the thing does the happiness need to be overwhelming, does it need to be coded in Gold adorned and glitter with a red carpet rolled out for us? Or can we really just find happiness and doing the little things?

    These are just thoughts that come through, all the time most of the time, and I like to share that journey of coming to the conclusion, coming to an understanding, or just a discovery on my own.

    But I will call to all that do make a point to read or come back and like or follow. Consider the little things in life, and be present and knowing that those little things become that foundation for the bigger things of life. It seems that in finding a grasp on the present, being able to enjoy those little bits of happiness, help happiness to become so much easier in grasping throughout the day, and for that, throughout life.

    Enjoi Playlist #0.17

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night you wonderful supportive people. I do appreciate the coming back, and the support.

    Now please please if you would share, follow, and like.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Thirteen, April 22nd, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    I’d like to wish a happy earth day to all, may we learn ways to rectify what we’ve drained from our home.

    Good afternoon, or whatever time it is wherever it is that you find yourself. Pretty sure I’ve got over fatalism a time or two at least in respects to just life in the way things delve into well, this. Two years ago this was an idea, though it was grandiose and obviously ill planned, I kept with it and continued with it. Thankfully I have some continuing readers and supportive bloggers and others like-minded that come back to like and I appreciate it. I am so appreciative of any of the support that I have acquired since I started this, and sadly there has been a friend or two that have been missed, or forgotten, however I strive on and I will continue to do this.

    I also had never planned on becoming an amateur editor for Mr. John Walker, and that alone not regarding what I’m doing here is a treasure if not so much more than that. I am more than grateful for everything that I’ve been able to acquire since I truly started doing the things I want.

    And this isn’t some nihilistic attitude. It more or less has aligned into following the practices of the Five Pillars for happiness in line with what I’ve perceived from Carl Jung.

    We have an insurmountable range of choices every single day, and I have made sure that every day and on and on, I continue to strive for not only lights, being good, but striving and doing the things that I have always wanted to do. And as a reader you may think that means jumping off the empire State building with a parachute, flying an airplane, hunting sasquatch, meeting famous people, but it isn’t. Don’t get me wrong those things would be nice, but since I was a kid I wanted to be a dad, to be a husband, a good cook, writer, artist, and singer. With the addition of any other things that contributed to what I just listed that I found that tickled my heart and brought me to life. In my past I’ve made some decisions that still have me kicking myself for being so damn foolish and impulsive, but again, we can choose to learn from these deliberations, or continue to make the same decisions that have brought us problems again and again. I choose to make a choice that brings change, light, and betterment. I just need to get the gumption to say no with confidence in my inflections.

    And that’s why I am writing today and also with the intention of kind of leaning into the first pillar for that of the mental space that we need to make sure we coax into accepting our changes for ourselves. As a husband, and dealing with the 80% leave her the f*** alone and 20% be there when needed, I try diligently to walk with my shoulders strong, head high, not letting the dichotomy dichotomy of the household relationship for both my wife and I to be cordial.

    I believe the biggest importance of maintaining wellness whether it’s in body or mind takes on a calling for the perception of how we let the world around us affect us. I can choose to be miserable, I can choose to be anguish, or like many of us, honestly likely most of us, it seems that we know we can choose to be happy for the loves that we have, the people that keep us warm, and the love we hold dear. It’s a choice, and I strive to aim towards a more genial and positive outlook.

    Playlist #0.16 – Enjoi!!!

    Now, about Forget-Me-Naught, Pt. 1 REDUX

    So for one it is a meaningful expose for that of a person aiming to do right with every effort leading towards detriment. It’s an egregious telling of choice and consciousness in our efforts. Are we always so sure what we’re doing is the best for everyone? Or is it just the things quietly and subconsciously wanted? Is it the white lie we tell ourselves doing this into thinking happiness is right around the corner? I want to journey through that investigation, what created the chaos that the detective Rachel is trying to pull from joel, what is the box in its entirety, and if he’s admitting about the death of his own brother but denying that any of the three that are known to be dead are solely due to his choosing and his action, what are the details? And this is something that I would love to eventually encapsulate the titled site name Dream Dark Stories.

    On a weekly basis, likely Sunday night/Monday morning, there will be a new part to Forget-Me-Naught. And though I have some ideas about the detective and having her own story outside of what we’re reading in Forget-Me-Naught, any other additional story that isn’t to do with Forget-Me-Naught, is going to drop sporadically. As for now I’m still trying to build up a bit of a base and some more supporters but still leading with the intention of wrapping up a small anthology collection of whatever it is I’ve provided within the last year.

    And with that I bid adieu. May your night, morning, day be forever grace with light and wonder.

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I truly would like to take a moment and thank every single person that has come to read, has come to take a gander even if for a minute, I am grateful and honored to know that I’m at least doing something enough that it calls to someone. And I thank you for that I do wish you a blessed day, or night.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Twelve, April 21st, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Originally, I had thought that maybe the health and mental wellness for pillar one of Carl Jung’s would take approximately a week. However I didn’t connect the totality of being the stay-at-home dad about 24/7, school, which I totally bombed the report I should have done, and the actual health of my friend John whose memories we’ve been editing and writing together. It’s a lot, and there are times where I think it’s not because I take into account the time where I relax a little bit, whether it’s watching a show with my wife, going outside to play with the dogs and my son, reading, art, writing the blog even, to an extent I connect it to an extracurricular activity. The thing is it’s so much more than that isn’t it? Taking the time, being cognizant of taking that time to be with my son, to be with my wife, to build up the relationship with the dogs, especially Lobo Blanco, that camaraderie is needed. And though it is the parts of my life that are more than incessant as in they are right there all the time, not counting of course my wife the teacher who’s busy all times. Taking care of that a family and the connections that are maintained and strong, they, in tow with staying on top of it, being conscientious of being a part of everybody else that you’re involved with, it genuinely does feel good. Shouldn’t it feel good?

    There are aspects to the questions asked above that do have to do with the five pillars especially when considering the ties to friendship, family, a resilience within ourselves that are tied to the aspects outside of the home that we each carry with us wherever we go. And of course we will get there but I didn’t think about how very prevalent and quite honestly absolutely obvious that bodily health and mental health both need to be paired together and of course with that said, there needs to be a cognizant attribution to how we acquire this knowledge and continue with it and taking care of our health both for our body and our mind.

    That said, Google’s Balance does help, however I don’t go to it enough, or use it consecutively throughout the myriad of many many weeks that have flown by to say that Google’s Balance is variable that can actually be counted as a stone to be used. It is a great variable to see if it can be used for you, when I plug in with my headphones, what I want to hear is music, or if I’m watching a show what’s to pair with that show. Now if I want a mental health coaching and massaging to an ego That should be tamed and the variables that make me I don’t know hard to deal with or make me just the character to be ?? It leaves me with a I don’t know. But with that being mentioned I do know that Google’s balance does help and has helped, it does slow my rate down it does have me think within and watch and question my actions and why is this what upsets me, why is this and the words that were told or directed towards me, why is that affecting me so? And that there is why I’m talking today, I feel that for everyone, the reader, not reader, YouTube streamer, the many that do the Doom scrolling every day, those that are watching the today show tomorrow morning, the people that have the CNN News ticker on the screen all day everyday with the monotonous tone of news report after news report after news report, for everyone, and yes even you. I feel that it is in us, ourselves and in knowing the self that drives you, me, us forward and has us all looking up. It’s the awareness that we can be better, and to sweeten that pot the wanting to be better, wanting to be something that is an adversary no matter what darkness is faced to you and yours. It’s being able to acquire the knowledge, and acquire the resilience to know the difference from the actions before that defeated you and the actions in the future that will better you and all that you touch. To which is why I think the first pillar is the biggest one that needs to be focused on. That mental health is one of the biggest things that truly truly needs to be completely have a responsibility for. But of course this is just my thoughts, and this is my thinking with everything else going on in my life but still it’s mine, or is it, is it Jung? Is it the reading or a collection of thought that in the collective accrued a variable that matched a feeling within?

    But that’s it isn’t it? Even with Carl Jung there is that kind of call to trusting yourself, trusting your gut, that intuition, and knowing there’s more or that the substantive evidence that you having in your hand can be used to better everything you do from here on out. But then again I come from a view of light, I know the world is shrouded in darkness, at least I’m aware that s*** is hitting the fan all around us, that chaos is at the door half the time, and the thing that has me gripped, having me stand here resolute not moving, posting everyday, is knowing life is too damn short and too damn beautiful to not give a f***. I do apologize for my frankness to anybody reading and finding this rude. This is an op-ed piece. Most if not all of what I write in my daily Post is just that. Because that’s life and it comes with feelings and he comes with her reaction and may our action is to share the feelings the intention thought perceived and what I think could be better. Doesn’t mean I’m right it doesn’t mean I’m wrong, it simply means I have an opinion like an a****** which everybody has and mostly everybody stinks. At least I haven’t met somebody with an a****** that smells like roses, you?

    Anyhow I do apologize for the curt addressing, I am also editing ‘Forget-Me-Naught REDUX Pt. 1’ and trying to get that dropped shortly after I post this so forgive me. I do wish you well and do hope you come back to read a story I’ve been working on for a long time this is probably edition 82, personally I think it may work and I’m really hoping for an opinion from any of the readers that come by all means please share. And I hope you love the music as always.

    Playlist #0.15 – Enjoi

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night to all of you, to every person, whether you’re reading this or not, whether you give a crap or not, I wish you well and I hope you have a wonderful night and a wonderful morning with the day that’s graceful and pleasant. Till tomorrow.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day One Hundred & Eleven, April 20th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    I am going to be making a segway today as I’m just realizing a big part of me and the things that aid, fuel, inspire, and move me are cinematic explorations and I’ve never shared this. I love the riveting narratives, or phenomenal character dynamics, the scripts that make palms sweat, and the nuances to the allegories that bring fiction barring down hard on reality with a peculiar meta relevance.

    The thing is though, like my music tastes, my movie and TV/streaming interests stretch through from silent films, to the Hitchcockian and Sterling Craze of the 50s and 60s. Growing up on OG Trek repeats, Matlock, Perry Mason, and Unsolved Mysteries with Robert Stack…because I was with my grandparents a lot growing up. Especially my Granny. But then on the home front growing up, religion was a force in the home bringing a lot of rules and siphoning off a large collection of things I never watched including things like Ace Ventura (never seen, and likely won’t).

    I remember the biggest change though, it was 1999, 2000 when we were living in Washington, Marysville. I remember the VHS in the bookcases of that house with titles like Swingers, titles like Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Dark City, and 12 Monkeys, The Matrix, in the myriad of others that looking back at it now, those are the titles I can remember, those are the ones that I knew were the adult only. Looking back at it it’s laughable but not why I’m here today to talk.

    The more freedom I met growing up, the more adventurous with film I became appreciating the B films available at Walmart and the wide array available at the rental store or my Grandma’s well organized VHS library found throughout her house.

    The thing is I found that I loved this style of story telling and truly started appreciating movies, shows, and shorts. Now you may be asking what this has to do with Carl Jung and the Five Pillars, and you know what? The fact is that when it comes to the mental health and balance, I think that’s where we really need to go on that introspective search and find the things that truly help us calm down aside from meditation or using balance with Google. I think it’s best that we kind of create a hybrid adjustment to how we balance and soothe ourselves in a conscientious manner. For me it’s been film and even the silver screen, I do appreciate TV, as a matter of fact I’ve been a massive fan of Serenity, Hannibal,Mentalist, Sherlock Holmes, and the likes of many many a TV show. As of late I’ve been getting into Canadian comedy and have heavily relied on the humor of the British persuasion because well from what my wife says I’m not Mexican. So why not roll with the punches, I guess. Sorry, I digress, that’ll be a discussion for another day.

    Playlist #0.14, * Dilruba remix is a great addition for cleaning, especially those damn finicky dishes and the laundry monster

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning I do Cherish having capability honor of being able to provide whatever it is I do, and even I think I’m trying to figure out that well also going through life and realizing being a stay-at-home parent especially the kind of sales I want I mean a lot more involved and trying to adjust that is taking some time so I do apologize. And if she was a gentle day against the night and gentle sleep hours of darkness.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Ten, April 19th 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Making a quick detour today.

    I’ve found that I do love me some british comedy like Black Books, Ghosts, Fawlty Towers, and The IT Crowd. However I appreciate the American replicants like that of The Office and Ghosts, but that’s where that kind of halts as other remakes have been too closely similar to the original UK versions that it leaves the viewer nearly jaded.

    But why I’m here today is due to the Paramount’s Ghosts and the affect Hetty’s story had on me. Rebecca Wisocky is the beloved actress that exemplifies the evolving of her character.

    As a viewer there’s this hanging knowledge that Flower, the aloof hippie, is stuck in a well on the property. Sadly Thors lamenting, still vying for his lost love leaves her discovery for the other ghosts til the fifth episode of season three. After some discussions and missed words help them realize Flower never got sucked off and very much is there. It’s an exciting time as we see the group finally being reunited, but with another problem already at the front. Ghosts and holes are bad.

    The rules for walls and floors are perplexing for the ghosts, leaving the daunting of getting out of the well a task to be hurried. Especially after finding out Sam and Jay, the living, have paid their contractor, Mark to fill the well with concrete. This calls for quick action which brings to light the true reason Hetty passed away and is still stuck on the property. Originally Hetty often remarks about morphine and coke, drugs that were popular in use of her time, alluding to an overdose even saying how too much Morphine was the cause of her passing.

    Hetty from Ghosts, img:https://ghosts-bbc.fandom.com/wiki/Hetty

    But it wasn’t. We’re led to this discovery that Hetty felt trapped due to actions created with illegal child labor laws, a son that she was trying to save, and trying to find freedom within a cage that had no exit, least that she couldn’t see.

    Hetty decided to use a rope. There was a triggering to the discovery for me, not in a drastic and debilitating manner at all, I was just deeply moved by that feeling trapped, feeling that there’s no way to light, no friends, no avenue and upon realizing the action of suicide this haunting reality that Hetty would likely never get sucked off.

    Anyhow this is a first in what may become more of sharing of scenes and impactful moments on the screen for viewers. We’ll see.

    I’m running out of time and gave up editing as I have had a busy last couple days.

    But looking at The First Pillar: and the Mental health, I feel that maybe that’s the addition that’s needed. We’re to find those aspects in the simplicity of life, the nuance that drives the story beneath what’s originally seen. It’s us to see life and find the light of our perception right?

    Playlist #0.13

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. Good morning and good night you lovely and supportive viewers. Thank you. Til tomorrow.8

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Nine, April 18th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Mental health is definitely a big deal and I respect those that understand this and know that it takes wisdom and a conscientious effort in making sure we each respect that benefit of willpower to making sure that we are better for ourselves.

    Sadly I don’t know if it’s the stresses of life, marriage the wantings of life love and the pursuit of happiness, the consistent and persistent my gosh journey for happiness and quality within ourselves, I wish I knew, truly I wish it was something that I can fully understand but with the few books I’ve read in the handful of philosophies I found myself to lean towards or agree with it still seems that the year 2024 most of us are trying to figure it out still most theories are continuing in trying to find a grasp.

    But it seems that with the incessant and clear knowledge that change is a complete relevant matter, as it is one of the constants, that is, when it comes to our emotions; our well-being, the routine, the getting familiar. When that changes, depending on who you are and how your upbringing, whether society melded you or nurturing hands did, the manifestation of oneself within the matter of change, is all going to depict a different story. Meaning: every time we’re faced with that adversity of life-changing, say a divorce, the death of a family member, the loss of the family dog that takes months, months, and months to find but still the search goes on. It calls for an adapting, a growing, but to say you’re done learning and to say you’re done growing is only and not being able to see the avenues where you can grow or learn.

    Personally, my head space…needs some love, a tending to the trimmings within, but, it also ties to my overall health where there are blots of space in my brain that have died. Hmmm? I stick with it I guess right? We find the issues we can and rely on the ability of our minds to see the mistakes repeated and then make an effort to change, to avoid the routines that have mucked up the path of each.

    I use Memento Mori, Balance, and maintain my artistic continuing with writing, poetry, and art.

    Speaking of…hope this is enjoyed.

    Untitled – M. R. Vega, Caran D’ache NEOCOLOR II AQUARELLE

    I guess that’s what it is when life is life, you see points of action, or a need to address things to be taken care of and we react. Whether that reaction comes with a positivity or that of the negative I think it’s on each of us. Not only that it calls to being accountable and not blaming everything else in your world for the things that are affecting or creating this beguiling in life. And I know I say that with a myriad of complaints or yapping about struggles but that’s also what I’ve been kind of addressing just fact that there’s such a difficulty to maintaining and continuing on one path. Anyhow this is certainly a late edit and drop I thank you very much.

    C’est La Vie

    I truly appreciate you, just for coming and glancing even for a moment. And to everyone I do wish a very wonderful morning and blessed good night. And to those a good night and a graceful morning to come.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Eight, April 17th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    As discussed this week I’m focusing on finding a decent routine for Jung’s First Pillar, aiming to create a healthy mind-space and to aid my body to be in sync with one another, and find that equilibrium to always be able to catch myself.

    Like I said the biggest aspect that calls for managing is time and consistency with my health. If I push too hard, I’ll be out for days, too exhausted and fatigued to do enough for being a better self. But I’ve gained some traction and am feeling confident.

    Now, I’ve found some good methods to stay active and maintain my agility, I’m still figuring out what’s too much and what’s going to work and that’s great, but let’s focus on the big thing. The mind.

    I prefer the idea of self actualization which I know pairs more with Maslow’s hierarchy…but that’s for another time. I do feel that they tie together though, both Maslow’s and Jung’s philosophy aim for happiness,at least a variation of that. Sorry, I digress.

    I want my mind to be whole, to be connected from one hemisphere to the next, to not be so convoluted and discombobulated as I feel most days, this is a need that calls for training.

    Even through PT (physical therapy) for the MS there’s a reminding that we need to communicate with the whole of our mind and the appendages we rely on, I try, but then… Ever see UP and the goofy Labrador Dug?

    That’s what I’ve found I struggle with internally when trying to slow and meditate for the sake of my mind. I’ve restored to using Google’s Balance. I don’t use it often enough but when I do, I’m reminded to write, to draw, and sketch, to paint, to sing, and dance like my heart wants. Through meditation, like reading I’m reminded I’m more than a dad and a husband that I am myself and I pay to that acknowledgement by allowing myself to enjoy what I create.

    Today I share some poetry, tomorrow art, and within the week Joel and his wife in Forget-Me-Naught, Detective Adams in Stuck, and Mrs. Nogare in a revised ‘A Student and a Question’.

    What comes to mind?
    Playlist #0.11

    Hope you enjoy the poems and the music.

    Close

    The lamenting and grief, the darkness that undertakes a remorse unseen.

    Remorse, remorse, show your recoiling, show an utter rejection to the becoming.

    You call to the blight, to the vapid sponge of heart, slay away the wonder, deny the tender.

    Nay, slam shut forgiveness, hold your hate, it stokes your fire, let it feed you to your heart’s desire.

    Bring damnation, vilify the work, that effort, take me and be done. But be no more, fall to the shadow, fall to the dark, let it be.

    Finding Isolation

    The quiet alarm, fingers tingle, and voices emit from the hundred screens, the conversations a tit for tat with smiles for laughs.

    There’s that music stealing and that constant barking, the haunting reminding that there comes dying. That quiet alarm, grab at the tree, grab at the fog, grab for a darkened bitter to shake the heart awake, bring a cognizant hate for what it can never be. And that it has to be.

    Take the steps, take it to own, that conversation unknown, now come to shudder and think how it’d be with no one, some one, some thing other than the shadow it gives, the image a snarl that gleams through the washing of mirrors, of the reflection to that unknown.

    Repeat

    I stumble, no, I fall to perish alone, I fall to become my own. I stand not knowing my left from right.

    Whether I’m coming or going, I wouldn’t know, wrapped within this ouroboros, all for a tomorrow that will never grace us.

    History repeats mistakes like the undead, to come again, again, again, again, again.

    Striving to commit, aiming for the arrow atop Mount Sinai, only to tumble, and carry over to repeat.

    Repeat, again, repeat again. The repetition becomes a coaxing measure that keeps me here, keeps me going like the pinked ears on the screen.

    To repeat again.

    Up

    We don’t look up, do we never take the time to take a glance? Through the night the silence envelops, caresses, and I ask that you tilt your head back to embrace the Moon, let it reverberate through the electric sensation I sense from afar.

    I howl with that glow, howl for the scent of your fingers reaching up toward the guiding light, I howl.

    My bones ache, the heart it swells and I yearn for you. Can we look up to that Moon, to the light it has etched for the trail ahead? May we look up to feel one another, may we look up to be connected, to feel the electric, the sensations that wrestle with nature? Let us look up together so I may see your heart.

    I howl to the moon, to feel you, to breathe in the fading essence of beauty and love, I howl to the moon, to the moon for you. I howl.

    To Tell

    I’d like to say I’m sorry, that I knew what I was doing, that the cage I put myself in was alabaster and gleaming decorated and comfortable.

    I would love to tell you that I’m free, that this cage though translucent has me feeling the surroundings.

    I would love to tell you.

    That the opaque aire has me reminiscent of ancient time, a memory far stolid and etched within my grain.I

    I Would Love to tell.

    C’est la vie

    Good night, and very much a good morning. Good morning and what a phenomenal night to come. I truly hope the best for anyone that ever breathes, and pray that life is gracious and effortless and making it yours.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Seven, April 16th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Life doesn’t just throw a lemon, life throws a weight that comes with a fear I feel I’m too familiar with, especially in the last few years. But I’ll address that in the morning to come. Back to the first pillar and goals I’ll share for if they work and how the MS works with or against the goals. I have noticed the productivity comes with complications, whether it’s ADHD or the MS, likely both, I’ll try to take account in mitigating this and finding further clarity. Now…Productivity and my efforts…these two are like oil and water. They should pair together, you would assume that they would. It’s one of the few things, scratch that, it’s one of the new things I found to create those productive plans and have found that, though the intention is there and the proof of intention is written, there’s the implementing said action and finalization. This is where I shake. It’s where my mind shifts, and when I realize it, I’m an hour and a half into a new project or continuation of something far from the initial wanting.

    So, tell me if I’m losing it, but I’ve been going to bed when I’m tired, usually around 12:00 a.m., maybe 1:00 a.m. and have set a group of early alarms from 5:00 am to 5:15 a.m. each morning starting last week. note: I do take minute catnaps through the day, but enjoy being on my feet.

    So to focus on Pillar One and the routine I plan on using this awake time in the early morning to bring a more focused heart and mind to doing Tai Chi, stretching and a portion of small workouts then to starting my day.

    I try to set a general plan for the whole of the week starting at Monday

    The intention is in maintaining a core strength and a vitality for the mind. It’s something I yearn for as I’d like to be in sync with life and that of what’s around me.

    We’ll see how it goes.

    More Music. I hope you Enjoy!

    Playlist #0.10

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and goodnight. Again for anybody who does ever come to dream dark stories, one I apologize that there aren’t very many stories as of yet, same with the art, life comes with its changes, the only constant in our lives. Anyhow I appreciate all of you, I love the support and truly love that there are some and I hope more to come that always come back to either check in or just see what’s going on thank you.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Sharing a Tune

    I tried introducing my son to Cloudkicker, and eventually he’s grown to enjoy a large array of their songs. But there’s one specifically that resonates with me, and most especially when I see my boy close his eyes to the song while it permeates through the wood and cushion of the home. Lately some news has come and it has me rattled a bit but I try to find strength from the music and the inclination of the rhythms. Become bigger and find that strength in knowing you are a giant, so I share:

    Enjoi

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Six, April 15th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Did you hear, did you hear?

    Humanity has provided the wondrous and yet absolutely terrifying prospect of artificial intelligence, this I believe and hope a large sum if not most of the population is aware of, and now based off of some studies and documents being dropped recently, everything produced on line from now on doesn’t have a human aspect, at least that’s the worry that is starting to circle around the drinking hole.

    I find this laughable, and not in a humorous kind of oh gosh this is so silly kind of manner, we grew up with sci-fi riders like Asimov, Bradbury, Clark, and additions like Twilight Zone and Outer Limits. Every writer mentioned, both of the TV shows mentioned, along with the plethora of fictions written to address exactly what we’re dealing with right now. And for some reason the more worry and fear mentioned through fiction to be petitioned, some jack hole rich a****** or bored jerk felt like adding that reality. Do you ever think about that, when you’re going through your daily routines, do you ever question the reality that you’re in? Then upon looking at everything and realizing oh yeah I read about that when I was a kid, oh yeah that one writer he was terrified about this, that one lady she warned us. Does that ever go through your head?

    They do for me, that is those thoughts that I asked about. And it’s funny to think that a couple years ago I was pressed to start up selling NFTs, and was asked to start up with digital art and pop them out to make a large sum of money. I didn’t take up on it too many red flags, too many prospects of losing any money of what little I do or did have so I just focus on school and writing for myself and started with this blog I think I’m now in year two. But why I’m addressing this and why I’m addressing the internet and the dead error that we’re seeming to see through our daily routines, everything is produced through artificial intelligence, at least there is a lot that is mitigated using artificial intelligence. Luckily for anybody who is reading this and cares to go down this far, everything from now on regardless of how s***** the art is or how bad my MS is, I will no longer use artificial intelligence, not even to help give me an idea for art I’ve got plenty of art books and plenty of an imagination so I’m going to do everything I can to make sure that dream dark stories will be a very genuine and very life breathing type of site to visit.

    And to cover Monday with the 1st pillar of Jung’s.

    As I stated before because of the health issues, I can only go so far and push myself too much, so I’ve been trying to do that today. I realized that I could do both push-ups, and pull-ups, with a good walking, a swift walk after that. But I need a time to recoup. So I feel that I’ll have to dissect the intention with activities and physical intent. Tomorrow I’m going to be hanging up the punching bag so that’s exciting. It’s been too long.

    And now the night is long, I need to get this put up and at least set for a scheduled post. I do hope you enjoy the tunes that I add and I mean that with every time I add music to the post I hope the mucus gives a more encompassed focus to who you’re reading and the crazed mess in my head hahahha.

    Enjoi Playlist #0.9

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning to all of you, may the day be peaceful, may the night be gentle. Good morning and good night supportive readers, thank you.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Five, April 14th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    So I did the math, the math of the 80/20 when it comes to relationship and time with my spouse. Just a regular day of working and not working and that’s from 7:00 to 4:30 then the rest of the day but 4:30 to about 10:30, but when she’s starting to drift sometimes 11:00 on a good day. So if a typical day following the 80/20 wish of hers, that means I am to stay out of her hair for 4.8 hours. So real talk the six 6.5 hours that she’s home and work isn’t going on or getting ready for work I am to stay out of her hair for 4 hours and 40 minutes so that’s an hour and 20 minutes. I don’t know, I feel there is something to talk about with this, but back to what I’m getting to. Upon realizing this and going about the first pillar of Carl Jung’s

    I made some goals and I’m gonna try to implement these starting this week. but that’s also while trying an arrangement of sorting and organizing my office and art studio, hopefully moving my son’s big-boy bed to his room and switching it with the massive playset bed for a curb alert and off my hands. And the painting that’s coming up…this’ll be fun.

    Goals

    Tai Chi. This will be something continued every morning. I’ve only done Tai Chi a handful of times though, so I’m motivated to gain a conscious grasp of my temple.

    Stretching – this a need for incorporating to my daily routine, there is definitely a call in needing to stay limber and ready for life, especially having to do with my son now a days.

    Water intake

    Protein

    Walking daily – I don’t promote running as I’ve come to find that it is more than damaging to my joints and my spine, especially now. But I’ve found that a fast paced walk covering over a mile daily has been a benefit. Honest,  I’ve become lazy with putting in an effort for my health so this I’m excited for. Especially with the prospect of some audio books or good tunes to carry the time by,

    Protein

    Water intake…

    Daily Workout – Maybe something chill … 30 push-ups, 15 pull-ups, 3×20 squats, jump-rope, but this I have to take cautiously and be mindful of the energy output and time to gain that back. I’m thinking two to three times and then a day of rest as I’ll be doing a myriad of other things throughout the days and weeks to come and on.

    Did I mention water?

    Punching Bag – this, though not new, hasn’t been done since pre Covid times, I’ll first need to find a spot for the 100 lb bag, then hoping it isn’t going to entice my dog to rip it to shreds, to make a couple minutes a day wailing into it and work on building up how long and how much I can put into building up my stamina.

    More hydration.

    These will be the tools I use to build up my body and create a solid foundation for maintaining my health and cleanliness.

    Then comes Cleaning…it’s active and keeps me going. Plus I’ve gotta get things organized so we’ll be sharing the Office space, the Art studio, and plans to be involved more through daily sharing and I think I may start posting this to IG too.

    There’s more to be done, more time to delve into the mental space and decluttering but first comes the actual cleaning and this will be practiced and shared. But I’m tired and tomorrow is going to be a doozy. Plus Part 3 of Stuck and Part 1 of Forget-Me-Naught by M. R. Vega. Oooh what a week to come?

    Playlist #0.8

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night to all of you readers, supporters, and bloggers. May your day to come be peaceful, the current one be graceful and the future be a gift.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Four, April 13th, 2024

    Hello and Hi-ho.

    We’re here to address the First Pillar of Jungian Philosophy and likely we’ll continue with the first pillar within the journalistic stance for the next week. The primary aim is good health for the body and mind.

    Let us start with the body right? Or do I take a Duo project attempt where I focus on both? I guess it’d be more practical right? What I do know is this depending on impact and push I’ll be passed out tomorrow and the next day exhausted so there is a persistent call to be mindful of what is too much.

    However food is one thing that I have been maintaining well and effectively, which would be Hellofresh. It certainly brings in a range of different recipes, and a conscientious effort in not going to the fast food menus that are on my phone and our son’s mind often because that kid just loves him some french fries.

    I digress, sorry about that. Both EveryPlate and Hello Fresh are great brands, though they are the same company, one offers more order and a bit of a step up in creative palate for the flavours on board, however they both always satisfy. And I can stand by that, even for the pickier of eaters,  the food satisfies and delights each time. Now, when you’re looking at benefiting your health account and cooking in aim to provide the appropriate assessments each body needs. Luckily the sites for both Hello Fresh and Every Plate are easily manageable and made to be modified for each cook and home.

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. Thank you supporters and readers I wish you a cherished day and pleasant night.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

    Playlist #0.7

    There will be stories coming soon, had to rewrite a character, and an intro for the big one I’ve been planning for years. But this is being kept on a back burner for a reason but we’ll get to that another time as we’re talking Pillars and not writing.

  • Day One Hundred & Three, April 12th, 2024

    Hello and hi-ho.

    Carl Jung’s Five Pillars, today we are addressing one, the first, and one that will likely be addressed time and again.

    Pillar One : Good physical and mental health.

    The thought of individuation comes to mind. Adversity is a large topic though too, that hangs over the pillar with wicked barbs awaiting my skin. But I’d like to pivot here due to an article I recently found having to do with my personal health journey.

    Which had me go down the rabbit hole of past searches in  my history and this took a considerable length of time to find. What I did manage to find was a case if not an honorable absolution to how we with disabilities are to circumvent the trauma and issues that we face on a daily basis, especially having to do with this intimate and personal experience. It is mine.

    It is my daughter’s prom night today and through the getting her ready for the night that didn’t end up faring well and all the prep in just being a family and supporting her there were many times where my confusion depicted that of a fool. What and who was saying whatever was coming out of my mouth? And sadly that was only hours ago I can’t recall and these moments worry me. Because they’re like the sentence fragmenting you read here. That’s my mind, it’s in tiny bits of solutions and dictation in living with very little foundation to be seen. And though it’s there, it is lively, but due to those blanked spaces in my brain, most of it is fractured. Like a photo torn and regretted then taped back with minute parts missing. There was a moment where I very much became honest with my child in telling how regretfully fearful I am in doing anything and taking the strides forward not knowing where I’m going. That I’m nearly always finding myself in a position of sensation of whether I’m going or coming and what was done that was wrong.

    There’s almost this petrifying to the limbs while moving forward, there’s almost a creeping halt in the mental space that is trying not to let go of what can be considered a tether to being positive and finding that happiness we are forever journeying towards. I told my daughter she has no idea how truly confused and upside down my world is half the time if not more. This is something I can confidently say is a salting to the wounds. When the time is quiet and I have a moment if not longer to collect and outline the plan for success in future is one thing, and on good days can be seen as rather positive, and I love those days. But the older I’m getting (33 now), the harder it’s becoming. I’m finding that I’m putting my cane out in the house it’s visual it’s right there ready I’m finding myself running into things and losing my footing and clamoring to a wall or a couch and gaining my footing again and again and again and then I watch these f****** commercials about the medication I’m taking the infusions, I’m getting and I’m really wanting to talk to them, those people that took this medicine as a beneficial aid, because since I started taking it, it just seems to be getting harder and more difficult.

    And yet except for today being late I’ve been pretty on it consecutively. I don’t know if that’s means anything. What I’m trying to do is build up a regime to better my strength, meditate daily using Google’s Balance, and consistently journal for myself outside of what is posted here. It’s finding the lengths and gaps I need to attribute to recoup time after each. The body is needing some more prepping and I think therapy may be on the forefront to bettering my first pillar. Til tomorrow.

    C’est la vie

    Goodnight and good morning, good morning and good night. I will be better put together tomorrow, stay safe and rest kindly, thank you for the support and repeated coming back

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Two, April 11th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    I’m one to favor the prospects within the scopes of philosophy or better yet, philosophies. Life isn’t made for the dualism, for a right and wrong. Of course this can be argued depending on perception and the likes but there are many a variety to the colour scenes of life, it isn’t just black and white, there are folds and folds of grays that find their own caveats to reinstall an ideology for life and what is and how it’s to be lived.

    I find this beautiful. Call me romantic, what have you, but to think of the more than eight billion breathing, living, and pulsing through each day, the knowledge that each has their own steps, their own mind and matter of will to be made is astounding.

    Since I’ve started my stoicism practices I’ve done some introspective cataloging and refurbishing to my mental space. One of these biggest strides in efforts has to do with happiness. It’s a paradox to start and something that’s fleeting like the moving sun that is always available just not at a moment’s grasp. From my personal journey I’ve found that curating a system or routine has helped a lot in finding happiness, but to my dismay after some further reading, I may be needing a few more tiers to aim for. Which, let us introduce the famed and much  appreciated Carl Jung, a Swiss psychoanalyst that was closely associated with that of Freud. He primarily encapsulates the archetypes, the personas, and a synchronicity of management with life.

    However, he also makes a great case for the group of ‘pillars’ that are needed to strengthen for bettering the grasp of happiness and maintaining a capability to hold it near often.

    With this I am trying to apply those five pillars into my everyday life. As Carl Jung addresses there is this consistent striving for being happy and in that journey there is a noticeable negativity that also is a variable of life and our goal to become happier. But within those emotions this idea of fear and the anguish that takes from that of happiness it’s more a survival method. It’s something that is within our becoming of human that kept us resilient, kept us on our toes, and kept us objectively prepared for things to take a turn, and God forbid for the worse.

    Brooks encapsulates the purpose for that wanting of happiness and how it’s a genuine need for humanity and are striving towards the future with allowing a generous accountability in relating Jung’s perspective on happiness and a need of an existence to happiness. Do you believe it exists or the brief and near spontaneous moments where happiness is? Do you think it’s a matter of the kind and what we perceive to be happiness? Is drinking a warm cup of coffee while silence overwhelms the space of the kitchen happiness? Is there happiness to the monotony of doing the dishes?

    And I think that’s where Jung does a really fantastic job of giving the idea of these five pillars, each of their own design to the emotional value of who and what we are. Then in keeping maintenance of those five pillars they manifest an ability to be aware of what happiness is and how you can attain it at any given moment?

    Jung’s Pillars

    • Good health in Body and Mind
    • Good personal relations, intimate connections like marriage, Family, and friends.
    • Being able to see the beauty of the art and life, nature, being
    • Realistic and adequate standard and satisfactory work
    • A philosophical or religious backing that helps create resilience

    All five of these pillars are things I am very much trying to address, even within my practice of following stoic philosophies of Marcus Aurelius and Seneca, to maintain a grasp on all five of these pillars. The thing I realize I complain a lot about the relationship that I see daily and deal with daily and I’m realizing that I need to apply the Five pillars to myself, and myself alone to be able to create my own personal foundation and better myself and the outcome for everything I do. And in doing this I hope that I can one, revive my relationship. Two, build a better site for everybody. Three, and create a genuine place for art and stories to match what I’m trying to create.

    So to wrap us up very quickly I apologize, again the day and the night have, been, well they’ve been rough, but anyhow I will be addressing each of these pillars through the next coming weeks, there will be some art and I have two stories that I plan on hopefully finishing before the end of the week, and again Jung tomorrow and the pillars.

    I need to take care of my health and get some sleep.

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning good morning and good night. Thank you very much supportive readers, thank you very much for your continued reading, thank you have a wonderful one.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & One, April 10th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    So this damn MS is the degradation of the myelin sheath (that’s the shield component that’s wrapped around the spine and the nerves). In essence what is happening currently and daily, hourly through life the myelin sheath is eating itself away, making it where all the nerves around whichever areas are highly impacted, they get damaged and die.

    So a couple months ago I panicked and somewhat demanded my neurologist to set up some scans and double check to make sure everything’s good. The reasons why was due to my face starting to get droopy, my gaite was changing, my sense of time, and conversation, a finding the right words… it’s become more difficult and more difficult.

    What I find humorous is when you go and do appropriate research, the findings for testing of Ocrevus are adequate to the ordeal it addresses. Positive, most definitely. However there’s the John Cunningham virus (JCV), a type of human polyomavirus. And when using Ocrevus and a myriad of other medications for many different purposes, the JCV can be reactivated for those who test positive. Guess what?

    That’s me!!!

    I am positive for the JCV, I am noticing a large amount of changes, enough that I’m needing to have my cane around, a lot, and it doesn’t seem the MS is slowing…yes I lament. It is something that sucks much more than you can comprehend and I don’t mean that rudely.

    Thing is I’m very proud of the strength and ability I have to provide for my son and my wife, and more and more it’s getting hard, it becomes a struggle to communicate appropriately and in a sense of old manner that can be understood, and I’m starting to lose a matter of strength when it comes to having fun with my son playing and roughhousing, wrestling, tickle fights, and piggy back rides. To top that there’s this matter of anxieties and concerns of health, because if life expectancy is cut short, my wife is on her own with our son. And this little guy, truly my lights for everything, is nonverbal with autism, and he needs somebody there, most of the time. He loves the tiny community he has with his parents and the therapist that he enjoys company with and the occasional uncle or two that come by. But outside of that what he loves and truly seems to want every day no matter what is his parents and the idea of not being able to be here for him something that sucks. So that’s again why I’m here to talk about taking advantage of living each day as best as you can and as fortuitous as possible. Live out life as best as you can.

    Playlist #0.5

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I truly hope you wonderful supporters and readers have a beautiful day and beautiful night and that life on is beautiful and wondrous.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • A Quote

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Trying to be positive through life calls for a large amount of energy doesn’t it? At least this is something that I find through the days that creates a lamenting for the time, for this unforeseen loss of something forgotten but it’s due to a dedication in maintaining being a pillar for those we raise, for the ones we love, and want to bring happiness to.

    I feel Aurelius grasps a sensational idea of the emotions we hold to burden our hearts and minds daily and how we process the anguish, the frustration, and how much we let it become a fastidious adversity to our wholes.

    I talk from experience, as I let so many worries and anxieties become an object and variable to the completions of the days. In just being a partner to my wife, guiding my son toward being somewhat independent, at least enough to ask for help for himself, and making sure the night ends on a good note, it calls for a methodical plan to being positive, refraining from the negative realities, even if they’re just from myself or an idea of us, it’s something that, yes can be thought of, but not given power to, given fuel for, in feeding the worries, in extrapolating to what it is that festers, you let it grow, and it becomes a manifestation that is harder to tame.

    The worst part about letting it build and gain momentum with the negativity is it does affect our souls, it curates the behaviours and the way we create to the whole continuing on due to the fears you let take hold.

    So if you find yourself gaining the firing red frustrations or liquid worries that flow from side to side within the head, take a rest, take a breath, and before you react take a nap.

    Going to try to close each post with a song or playlist. Hope you enjoy.

    C’est la vie

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Light!!!

    One tiny moment in time. Live it as brightly as you can to shine, to all, to everyone.

    C’est la vie

    Nosce Te Ipsum