Dream Dark Stories

Tag: journal

  • Day Sixty, February 29th, 2024

    Hello and Hi-ho

    I’ve been feeling guilty for my friend and the memoir. Given he’s writing and I’m editing, I feel that there’s an expectation to hat it’d be whipped up and finalized sooner. However this is merely my own fear, given we’ve shared many a discussion of life and the pursuit and an understanding it may take time, more time than expected. So why the guilt?

    I think of Neil Gaiman’s ‘View From the Cheap Seats’ an autobiographical that covers life and growing, writing and love, comics and being a husband, parent, and the tribulations that transpire throughout. But, I’m here to discuss Harlan Ellison, his soapbox, and the project he went on to show and demystify the idea of what it is to be a writer. Ellison would go from bookstore to bookstore at numerous locations throughout the U.S. to show the practice, the duration of idea to finger to paper, to being posted on the glass windows at whichever spot he’d be at and voila. 100 short stories later and I think, this should be like that right? 100 short stories, a little over a year of our project and I’ve made just a slight dent to the whole of what’s wanted for this memoir. But then in truth, there are long durations where Ellison admits, he’d wander, whether it was in mind or body, he’d putz about pondering the next page, next chapter, that next step. Gaiman does, King, well I don’t know, he whips them out like I eat, but I feel even he’d drift in thought, pause for a moment, maybe a day and get back to it. But that’s what it is to be writing. Thought, planning, silent and invisible outlines draped across our eyes, while we take a scalpel to it and partition, splice, and rearrange what is wanted.

    My days start with thought, planning, and almost immediately an editing to the steps I take, the writing I did the might before, what I’m doing, and what is planned to be done. What’s nearly comical, is that the more I find myself with less to do, I do more.

    I’ve found myself with two silent weeks of no Discussion Questions or subject readings for school, two minute projects, and all the time in the world to edit memoirs, paint, write for DreamDarkStories, and be a dad and husband.

    In some areas I have more success than others. Guess it turns out like that sometimes. Anyhow to those who read and if keeping track some of my stuff is dropped a little late sometimes too late so I’m going to try to drop this just a little after midnight from the last day of February.

    C’est la vie

    May you all have a wonderful night and a wonderful most glorious morning, and for those of you who are seeing the morning may it be peaceful and may the night that come be just as gentle.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Fifty-Nine, February 28th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Ever have those days where you just don’t get it? You don’t get why there’s anger, you hear an explanation, you get the slew of angry banter and utter “I don’t know”. Sometimes it just comes off like something inflamed, torched, and you do everything you can to understand why this one little thing, seemingly innocuous, unintended, and an inquiry? Why? And then I find myself thinking to myself is it the anger that I see? Is that a varied expression of love itself? Am I crazy? Or, is it genuinely that there’s so much frustration due to the hopes and wanting for expectations that it doesn’t fit the cut? And of course you may think I’m asking this question to you, and maybe I am, but I feel like I’m asking this to anybody and everybody. Why do we expect everyone to flow and work the way we want it to work why do we get so damn irritated at people when it doesn’t go the way we assumed or had hoped it was going to be?

    I dig. I dig away at the layers, uncover the bones, the tattered rags of years long lost, I dig. I question you, question me, I can’t decide which is and isn’t. Ne’er a worry, I dig. I dig at the sludge, dig at the heart, the levels from skin to bone, I dig. A darkness holds me close, I dig, my heart begins to bleed and the layers become revealing, the levels unraveling, I dig, callous and wounds, life and difference, I dig. I dig. I dig. Ne’er a stop, I dig, ne’er a thought, hands pounding raw and I dig. Incapable of stopping, a need, a call, a compelling to dig, dig, dig. My heart races, it pounds, it thunders to my ears with cacophonic atrocities as I dig, sigh, sweat my tears, and dig.

    When is too much too much?

    I’m out for the night/day, I’m tired and need a reset.

    C’est la vie

    Good morning and good night, good night and good morning.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Fifty-Eight, February 27th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello,

    Ever remember an uncle, dad step dad I don’t know, maybe a grandfather even holding a straw and asking you to flick it with your thumb. And of course mind you that straw isn’t just a standing single straw it’s tightly twisted over and over from both end points until there is that massive pocket of air in the tube with no release from either end. And then you have that uncle, father, Grandpa or maybe an auntie who thought it was fun holding it at your face telling you to flick it as hard as you can. Do you remember that?

    And they would be there crouching down at your face, hands holding this precariously dealt with straw, and if you’re like me, you’re looking at them with this “what the f*** am I supposed to do?” face.

    Sorry Dad, grandpa, uncle, likely uncles plural on that one. There were so many times where looking at this odd straw object seeing their faces of giddy and reveling expectation for the loudest onomatopoeia available without using technology, this apparently was too much to bear.

    And sadly to my dismay and apparently my weak ass freaking fingernails, that mother f****** straw never f****** snapped, my dad would wrap up another straw pointed at another brother a cousin or an uncle next to me whether it was a picnic or family gathering and POW. Apparently I was not capable of making such astounding cacophony of sound for those very slight moments of Life Time.

    I don’t know why but there’s a space between the sense I have, those around me, what I think they might think, and the actual reality. It leaves me thinking I’m a fool, or behind, missing the joke. Maybe I am, sometimes I miss what’s right there, maybe it’s due to being bored, tired, or both. But honestly I just kind of like watching life work. And yeah there will be an underlying note of humor or a silver lining of revelations that no one but me and whoever is watching the thoughts within get it but again it’s something personal. It ends up being something that I find funny whether it’s about the humor of one thing connected to another, the dichotomy of b******* and other nonsense, I just like observing apparently and when expected to react I’ve found that I either give the “I don’t know” as I like to state in my journaling, or I panic and sometimes, especially at a younger stupid age, my panicking would become more idiocy fueled.

    Anyhow the day has been long, disappointing, and I question whether what I say is me feeding myself a line. Or like dreams, it’s my way of reigning in the chaos. That’s why I close with the Latin each journal, it means “know thy self“. This is me trying to figure that out.

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Fifty-Seven, February 26th, 2024

    Riddle me this: If one that does what they deem right, is considered wrong by the other, and thus who is told that similar would be just as bad if not worse than what’s considered good by the one, is the seconds choosing based on guilt, control, or fear?

    Sorry for the tirade of questionable phrasing and wordage to the riddle. Lately I’ve been addressed to some errors, an overwhelmingly large sum of errors. These are due to memory, cognitive relevance, and training, we all know how training is right?

    Throw you into the pot, expecting you to boil and come out buttery and fresh. At least that’s how it comes off. Maybe that’s out of line, or maybe shoddy training and rapid lesson techniques are meant for a specific type? Again I have no clue and gosh, I’d like to know.

    Maybe I am a damn fool, maybe this job just isn’t for me, I don’t know. I really wish I knew, and though I know some of the steps are very clear others I get confused, I get lost, every state has different rules that come with different routes, so maintaining with the status quo of what work is as of late, I’m really wishing I could just paint right and do school. God if I can just do those things. Of course being a husband and a parent come first and foremost outside of the typical routine it’s what I would like.

    Anyhow to those of you who have been following the journal entries, I got the 150/150. Pretty cheesed if I may say and I would love the content and feedback as not only does the subject lightly grace circumstances I’m dealing with, but profoundly addresses situations for my family as it is my grandfather has Parkinson’s, grandma had MS too. But this discover that the gold nano crystalization and what it can bring not only is it going to benefit the two papers that I have to write using my radio report, it also brings the excitement, like editing and writing for my friend doing the memoirs it’s exciting I like doing the writing when the excitement is there, and sadly there are certain subjects where it’s a No-No. We’ll see how projects for week Seven and Eight will turn out. Trying to get that GPA back up. Fingers crossed.

    Anyhow Signing out for the night, may you have a great one.

    C’est la vie

    Goodnight and Good morning, good morning and Goodnight.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Fifty-Six, February 25, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    You know it’s a salute to Vonnegut, my introduction that is. I find it funny cuz my favorite writer even still is Bradbury, but there was a fine separation between the near crass and very personable Vonnegut and the gentle metaphorically phrased daggers that stand precariously through a work of Bradbury’s. They’re each a savior in themselves and the words that met my eyes, my heart, but so it goes.

    There. That. It’s right there, leaking from my words direct to his, Vonnegut’s. And maybe that’s it, it’s natural and when in my lonely teen times Vonnegut was met like a buddy, he was funny, sharp, deeply resolute and always opinionated, regardless of the odd 40+ year difference it still held a relevance. And even still the older I become.

    It’s Sunday, I’m nearing the last couple hours before I absolutely need this News report to be done and I’m sweating it. 150 points if I can pull it off. But I stutter like a twittering flutter butterfly, cough over my words like a jumping gazelle and trip over the inflections intended for a riveting piece. I don’t know. Maybe today, script written, practiced I’ll pull it off, it’s the big long form essay though that I’m more than choking about. We’ll see. I’ll see.

    Time, time, and more time. If only there could be more, or less call to being where I’m wanted and where I’m wanted, the balance between the two, a precious balance that can be destroyed with the slightest wrong push this way or that way.

    My mind’s fluttering with the prospect of failure the hopes of success, the knowledge of 150 points that I need to make sure I get that 150. Wish me luck if you would I’ll let you know what the grade is Monday morning or Tuesday Monday night I don’t know.

    C’est la vie

    May you have a splendid and wonderful good night, may your coming morning be graceful, peaceful, and quiet. And for those of you waking up may you have a wonderful day to come, and may the night swiftly, gracefully sweep you to a restful night’s sleep.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Fifty-Five, February 24th, 2024

    It’s the end of my last course, for a moment. Tomorrow, Sunday, will be the last day of school till the 18th of March. I hadn’t noticed until earlier this afternoon. Oddly, the excitement I thought would be there, well, it isn’t.  I enjoy the routines and the planned flow of work set and lined to the end. I don’t know, maybe I need it. Perhaps I could take the opportunity, depending on other circumstances, to make possible my writing, the art, and drop Stuck Pt. 2. Maybe make the IG account a business one too. It’s not like I use it except to drop art.

    It’s a thought, it usually is anyway, but then I let myself and the worries within grab hold and I freeze. I may maintain a motion, especially if it’s a normal routine I carry on through a weekday, like dinner, the dogs, dishes, laundry, but what’s in my mind is usually my worst enemy. The inkling of trouble, the small notion of negative tones, a sulking mannerism seen and I’m reeling. Especially within because the chances, the options, and the prospects, are so much darker, bleak, and vile.

    The imagination, though I appreciate it, I fear the eagerness at times that catapults my heart and mind throwing them in an emerald tornado of fret and worry that takes so long to trod through.

    Til tomorrow, Monday morning late Sunday night, who knows.

    C’est la vie

    Good night and Good morning, good morning and good night.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Fifty-Four, February 23rd, 2024

    Hi-ho and Hello.

    Boy oh boy what a day, what a week, and what a realization in what it means to be disabled, considered sick and the fine tether to being able to work or not work, and how the wording just right or wrong will throw a wrench into a cohesive and acceptable access to what is needed.

    I got to see the underbelly of this with my HR crew for work and my PCP (primary care physician),

    It’s been tedious and exhausting assuring the relevance to my sh** and HR.

    I digress, I’m tired, swamped with line litigation and planning,  discussing a discovery in using good nanoparticles to better PD patients and people like me with MS.

    I’m going to rest and will share more over the next day or two I manage it.

    C’est la vie

    Good night and Good morning, Good morning and Good night.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Fifty-Three, February 22nd, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello

    Work and school makes me a dull one apparently.

    I’ve been overwhelmed exhausted and trying to suss up my expectations and the sole reality of what is and isnt.

    Late day, late post.

    C’est la vie

    Good morning and Goodnight, good night and good morning.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Fifty-Two, February 21st, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello

    I hope your day is going splendid.

    So life am I right? In the past I’ve definitely and likely have mentioned that multiple sclerosis is a pain in the ass, that it’s something that has been making most aspects of my life more annoying, a tad difficult, and time-consuming. A lot more time consuming than I thought given that there needs to be an accountability applied to everything and anything, anything I do. Absolutely encourage accountability, I often talk about that, but it really sucks when the MS is flaring up, I forget, I’m just kind of off, and I do things that are weird.

    And when I say weird, I mean PlayStation controller in the freezer, underwear in the cubby next to my paints, my painting stuff everywhere, I have an art studio. And I still maintain having everything of Art everywhere else but the art studio in my office. It’s ridiculous and it’s nonsensical, and it’s tiring.

    So yeah I have that on the up and up, love that wonderful mountain to deal with every flipping day but now I’m having a new issue, and I knew it would come eventually, just didn’t think it’d be two months after my first infusion.

    My legs aren’t wanting to work the right way my hips don’t want to rotate or gyrate, and it’s making movement painful, making movement quirky, and definitely adding to a worry that I was really hoping would be squashed by now. The thing is when certain things evolve with MS, sometimes you don’t find the issue until it’s later therefore, likely too late to really, truly, get in front of it. I’m hoping the 22nd, bring something a little better. I plan on getting part 2, the rough draft for stuck part 2 finished up by Thursday night. And hopefully I’ll be able to drop that and some more art by the weekend depending on editing. I do still have John’s Memoirs that I’m editing as well. I’m going to go take a break and I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow have a good night.

    C’est la vie

    Have a wonderful good night and a beautiful morning and to those who are waking up I hope you have a blessed morning and a darling good night that tucks you in gently.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Fifty-One, February 20th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    The smacking of Lobo’s munching up Purina Dog Chow sends an unnerving shudder through my ears leading to a deep well of unwanted mastications seen or heard. The deep gulping of my oversized dog, though understood due to his size, has me yearning for headphones to blast away what’s coming next…more chewing, chomping, and gasping for air while he eats his bowls remains and Oreo’s small bowl on the side of his large paw. He looks up with the familiar dog smile, exhaling musty chicken crude protein scents that likely will dissipate in due time, but knowingly will irk my senses till I find a better reason to change jeans.

    The bowls are cleared quickly, they both trot out of the shed with an exuding of conquering what was tasked, and quickly get back to a raucous dog play that will likely tread against the fine line of dog love, familial rough play, and the occasional yelp to heed by either the Pyrenees or the shih-Tzu terrier.

    I watch, I write to you; the reader, and ponder the days to come, the Doc appointments, the tests, scans, and labs that will likely coincide and sigh heavily with repose. To breathe in deeply, hold, and let it out with a growl. It’s more of an internal kind of nonsense; that growl, but it wakes me up, reminds me of the path, the goal, and that finish line that never seems to be within reach.

    Not to cause fear or strike worry into your mind, but keep in thought, if you would that life is short, life can drift away at a whims notice, and with nearly a surprise, and like Seneca mentions it’s most brief for those who lack remembering our faults, are nowhere near being present with now, and have no thoughts of the coming future.

    My goal as I’ve stated before is to maintain my conscientiousness my being present, my accountability, and striving for making sure that I am the best of everything I can be everyday making sure that my steps are with indications to my goals and the future that I know I can have.

    I’m closing out for the night, talk to you guys tomorrow and I’ll drop my Wednesday piece in the morning.

    C’est la vie

    May you all have a wonderful night and wonderful morning and may you all have a wonderful good morning and that wonderful drifting peaceful night.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Fifty, February 19th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Stuck Pt. 1 will be dropping later this morning so do jeep an eye out. There are a few additional art pieces to aid but they initially are my own, though I did use Dream.Wombo.AI to aid in progression for what I made and using prompts, it’s based on my art, with the aim of my words.

    Now this is where I feel I may not share a distaste as much as others do when considering AI. I do have MS, and it does help with keeping focus, cleaning portions of what I had envisioned and what was wanted for the end. This is a piece of my support and why, I use AI for pieces still in production and likely to be 100% different from the original piece used for the wombo.AI.

    What I like about the physical works I’ve created is the flaws, it’s the minor additives to the whole product that creates a genuine touch of original authenticity to being me, having MS and how the dichotomy between health and disease either create beauty or a juxtaposed route to making sense of being different.

    Now to sharing some art, all self created. All pieces are done with acrylic, either with brush or pour. 

    An Eye In Waiting : M. R. Vega
    HER (Stuck/In Silence) by: M. R. Vega
    A Call to Winter : M. R. Vega
    ? In production : M. R. Vega

    C’est la vie

    Goodnight and Good Morning, Good Morning and Good night.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Forty-Nine, February 18th, 2024

    Nearly half way to 100 days, hello and hi-ho.

    Senior year is nearing the mid way spot, my mind is nearing the ‘I’m getting tired’ point, and I’m getting surprised daily. Take this for one, She’s reading these.

    I’d assumed it, but then at the same time, thoughts she’s likely too busy, has better things to do and would rather have at it there than scrolling through brief thoughts..of mine..

    What does it mean?

    To which comes the paradox…I know she loves me, I can feel it, and more and more it becomes more visible, but where does the cactus, the flaws, the catalyst of my choices from the past fade to oblivion? Where does a choice of her own, her accord, her narrative become okay with it?

    Is it a contemptibility? Is it a burning from somewhere deep, like a growing tremble that becomes such a  cacophony is it a magnanimous mass that silences the world around her?

    It is love, best I can fit to what I feel that word has become for many that yearn for that, for this, it is Love.

    C’est la vie

    Good night and may you all have a wonderful blessed morning, may your gorgeous morning become a blessed and darling night.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Forty-Eight, February 17th 2024

    Hello and Hi-ho

    Boy am I f***ing late with these posts the last couple or few days.

    Sometimes I guess it happens. I guess the draw of the day the monotony of the cleaning and the cooking and, the rest of the s*** that we know or needed additions but God do we detest them.

    And then I get to a point where yeah I just want to stare at the screen and watch this Cruel Summer show and try to figure out what the hell’s going on cuz I’m starting to support a bad guy but wait are they a bad person, is this a bad person?

    What is bad and what is it within the paradigms of the nonchalant religious background, ethical background, moral background, where do the paradigms stray off enough that a person can be bad and still be good?

    Im closing out tonight sorry I’ll talk to you guys Sunday I’m probably going to publish this Sunday actually I’ll do what I can to make sure that I publish the Sunday one Sunday, and we’ll be back on track and hopefully hopefully hopefully if I can get this project turned into night I’m going to make sure that I have at least part one of stuck which is kind of boring but hopefully with the painting that I shared and I’ll share a better one with a better background too.

    C’est la vie

    May any and all have a wonderful night and morning may you have a gorgeous good morning and a beautiful restful night.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Forty-Seven, February 16th, 2024

    Do you ever question your selfishness or selflessness? Do you ever stand observing, living, moving through the motions because well you’re used to it but then find yourself questioning that as well?

    I woke up this morning and went to work did the usual did my DQ read my projects read my essays everything that’s needed definitely more than I had intended but I think I have enough time and if I do things right I’ll be able to get it done early. That’s of course hopeful thinking as I’m lazy and I know this.

    But I also get easily excited, and being able to translate said excitement into what I’m writing about with scientific studies, discoveries, and prospects afterward… It’s easy to write. It’s easy to plan, it’s easy to write, it’s easy to script. Haha I forget it’s a son of a b**** when it comes to f****** citing though and that I will be rather frank with, I get it and I totally respect the citing, and the needing of it  However we’ve all seen those memes or at least I assume, forgive me, we totally know and we’ve got the confidence but god forbid we’re going to wait till the last minute right?

    At least I know I do and I’ll take accountability to that even if I had my professor Dr Green straight face to face I would admit look I’m going to do this last minute and then I’m going to do the best I can because well …Memento Mori.

    But that’s the truth of everything that has been and was much as I can truly focus on daily with moving forward. No that sentence makes any sense to you awesome it barely makes any sense to me but I’m the one who said it so I’m just going to ride with it. So the thing is with Memento Mori I’m realizing one you take every day as the last day of what you have not any hey I’m going to do whatever the f*** I want kind of living but I’m going to make sure that every step I make has worth every action I have has that worth and everything I say has a weight or a point for it. Well the thing is I lose focus and I get passionate and I like talking. I hate my f****** job, but when it comes to talking to someone especially family, john, my wife, there’s a joy it’s your joy to communicating with someone about life..

    C’est La vie

    sorry this is late I lost track of time been falling asleep doing my work…my bad

    Good night and may you have a sweet good morning, to a sweet good morning may you have a sweet and darling good night.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Forty-Six, February 15th, 2024

    Hello and hi-ho

    Boy the day really got ahead of me, I’m swamped, tidying up research for a subject that’s so off base from the original subject in the school course, that I’m thinking f*** it let’s do this. So I’m still writing, editing, and writing more and really trying to capitalize on my family time.

    Ever get told something; like a “you’re being rude, you’re being wrong, being negative or bad” when that’s not the intention and then questioning your entirety of intention from the get go?

    Is this gaslighting or is this just an emotional like couples thing?

    I don’t know, still like I said trying to capitalize on relationships right I am going to drop some stuff later tonight it will not be a journal entry it will not be a day 40 anything it will simply be some pictures and some details to whatever it is that I’m dropping.

    So I’m signing out, closing for the night going to write up my February 16th intro and edit and try to drop Stuck this weekend. Hoping I can get at least a short story a month didn’t realize as much editing as I am doing that it was going to take up as much time as it is who would have thunk that?

    C’est la vie

    Good night and have a beautiful morning. Good gorgeous morning and have a wonderful splendid Dark night.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Forty-Five, February 14th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello

    How is the Valentine day rolling out or how was it?

    Did you rest queerly, agitated with the egregious and plethora of traffic nearly everywhere? Did you have a long wait at the reserved four star restaurant? Was there a fight? I hope not. Truly.

    Sometimes I’m negative, and bring that negativity to my writing and bring it to my paintings and my drawings my everything, even my gaming. Thing is my Valentine went great. It was rather fantastic as we enjoy the simple things. We had ordered Olive Garden yesterday which was still insane because it was before Ash Wednesday. And if you know what that means then everybody is taking that day to eat the meats because they’re likely going to go meat free for the duration left. So we were left at the to-go sign waiting slot for a while but we ended up getting a great spread for rather reasonable prices and ended up having Olive Garden for two days. With the addition of the occasional throwing in stops at Culver’s, stops at Starbucks, and just trea ourselves. What has made it great  though, wasn’t the food per se, the gifts per se. It was just being with one another. We may have been going through a lot we probably still are I’m not going to be a fool and say everything is great because I hope that we’re steering towards greatness for each other… But there are times where I get nervous and I hesitate so to be present and to be able to enjoy it with one another for just being us with each other I think it’s great.

    Sadly the project for the tea bag holder is still in production still looking for that e6000 but I’ll find it.

    She adored the Lego set, and is excited to make it over the weekend. I’m hoping to take some pictures when there’s some color,

    Getting sleepy

    C’est la vie

    Goodnight and good morning, good morning and goodnight.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Forty-Four, February 13th, 2024

    Hello and Hi-ho

    Start of the week, it comes with lots of editing comes with lots of writing comes with a lot of research especially for school right now, so I’m grinding grinding with as much information as possible as much knowledge as possible and I’m trying to do what I can to make sure that the $180 plus pages that we have for the Memoirs are at least more than halfway done, the momentum is good I’m feeling positive. I’m feeling really positive, more than positive and I’m really looking forward to my brother getting back to me wanting a second pair of eyes and I’m excited I’m genuinely excited and I don’t know about Sharon here but maybe maybe I’ll get the balls and share with the public I guess I’d have to ask John though since we haven’t finished or published don’t want anybody taking my friend’s story and try to pay it as their own.

    Side note that was a rant I was just the dump I guess, haha yeah we’ll call it the dump.

    But for Valentine’s Day I got the Lego Tranquil Garden for her. She has all the other botanicals, those I’ve been getting for her since they started dropping that line. I think one of the things I forget is the similarities though the differences are Grand the similarities we get to share her and I both have an affinity for Lego collecting and specific sets specific types. It makes for the hunts and the sharing of gifts for each other, It’s made It very very enjoyable and I hope she knows that it’s one of the favorite things about us together. And it’s not the Lego set that makes it special it’s the fact that it’s something I’ve liked since I was a kid, and it’s become something that I get to share with her and she gets to share with me.

    I’m also making a poly clay tea bag home, she saw a picture and said “oooh make that for me” and I’m trying I got the body finished I need glue actually. I need good glue I have some e6000 I hope that will work.

    So I think that has me looking at a list of: a completing a piece of clay works, a watercolor for my friend John, a story ‘Stuck’ which comes with an acrylic painting that I’m doing, to school projects,  a news story and a News l script.

    I’ll let you know how everything is finished going to try to at least drop a photo or two of the projects and production tomorrow, maybe the 15th since Valentine’s Day calls for more attention to love.

    C’est la vie

    Good night good morning,good morning and very much a good night.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Forty-Three, February 12th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello

    My nights are my favorite time of the day, do I do appreciate the mornings I appreciate the fresh air especially when it gets a little warmer in the morning the Sun comes and you can feel the dew in the late spring, but regardless of rain snow whatever the weather there’s something about the darkness that I find it easy to escape.

    It’s not that I’m trying to escape from the darkness it’s walking away from the stress, the worry, and the dull monotony that we get used to. It’s not that I call for drama, it’s the repetitive drum of the ringing that has me fleeing.

    I feel bored with the tasks that are brought to me within work. Outside of work, the callings are toward painting, to edit, to write, and to create. Even while I deal with the humdrum of work, my gloves are on pressing and prying clay, there’s a canvas and paints at my finger tips, editing these posts, and the memoirs. But…there comes another call. “Thank you for calling Arizona Urology, my name is blah…bleh…ble…bl.”

    I want to be here, be at the computer, my papers, books, those pens, post its, and highlighters, while not being watched by big brother or ‘the company’. Then the questions strike my head like lightning, and I ponder, how many paintings? How many posts? Drops? How many views do I accrue to make enough that I can leave ‘the company?’ saying “baby bye bye” while shrugging it off knowing I can do more, can do better, just not here.S

    Segway

    How many hours does one need to function? I’ve been up since 5:29a.m. this morning. I’m not wanting to go to bed, but there’s that knowing the haunting darkness of sleep, pounding at the door of your eyelids wishing for a darkness to settle down the night.

    Hahahaha wow, apparently I fell asleep writing this. Anyhow, the days become longer, my beard more gray, my patience thinning, and I’m on my way to tomorrow.

    C’est la vie

    Good morning good morning and good night, a glorious good night and good morning.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Forty-Two, February 11th, 2024

    Hello and hi-ho

    My Sunday which I’m going to share an exciting day as yes, it is the Super Bowl, but it’s also the day where I get to share the first 36 edited pages of the memoirs, the opportunity to see a cousin I haven’t seen in years, as well as seeing my good friend, and get his actual perspective of what I’ve been spending a lot of time curating.

    Pages: 1 2

  • Day Forty-One, February 10th, 2024

    Today is a story drop, it will be a raw short edition of what I’ve been dabbling with.

    So with that stated I’m busy I’m writing I’m editing and I’m editing the f*** out of the Memoirs right now, going through trying to figure out a good outline he already had one written out it’s not bad but this is version 32 year one at the end of your one essentially from the time we started last year. So there’s a lot of compiling organizing and mitigating I guess for myself and with him but I try not to put too much on his load, I know he enjoys himself a stout drink with his lady, so thinking maybe I’ll get bothering him for a come back for Monday.

    So essentially I’m just kind of writing out the day doing my editing, writing, school work, well also having a peculiar debate about what songs of usher’s will be used how much of my way will be used given that that’s his best album and if OMG is going to be used pretty sure it is as a matter of fact I’m going to say guaranteed it is but you know people like talk s***.

    C’est la vie

    Good night good morning good morning and good night. Thank you so very much to all any and everyone your support you’re continued reading your continued support definitely aids to me wanting to come back as I’m interested in to see the comments and anything it was nice to get a comment from one of my viewers thank you very much by all means please and thank you I will start dropping videos and how I do my art as well as in sharing my other social sites eventually still editing that short story hoping the darkness doesn’t swallow me up before I get it published on here even if it’s just the the raw edit rough s***.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Forty, February 9th, 2024

    Hello, Hi-ho

    Definitely a late post, and definitely a late drop my apologies.

    Welp, who can say they enjoy the doom-scrolling. Yeah it gives us something to do, something to fret over, find concern with, wanting to address the urgency to another…but how many of us go to the streaming platforms instead and absolve those worries and the daunting damnation we see brewing everywhere?

    So… I’m taking every moment that I can to enjoy the little things. Whether that mean a movie with my family 15 minutes of painting 10 minutes of a show 30 minutes of a song or music or what have you I’m going to enjoy because life’s too f****** short right?

    Today my wife and I decided hell yeah we love each other, hell yeah we appreciate one another, why not let us go have some fun and we went to Red Lobster with our son. I get it doesn’t come off like somewhere fancy, to some it is to some it isn’t to my wife and i, if it’s somewhere where we can have our son the nonverbal kid with autism who doesn’t pick on cues depending on the circumstances, you bet your damn ass Red lobster was the place for us.  We met some pretty cool people at Red lobster as a matter of fact, we enjoyed ourselves and what with tax season on its way I think we’re going to be doing this a little bit more often. Plus I have a feeling life is going to be turning around on the brighter side and I don’t think I’m shying away from that.

    Anyhow it’s late I got to edit for the next day and try to get an early jump on my Sunday editing for that drop so I’m out tonight.

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night.

    Thank you all for continuing to read liking and hopefully jumping in on following.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Thirty-Nine, February 8th, 2024

    Hello and Hi-ho

    If it’s not apparent, I work from home, and boy do I loathe the bs that becomes the monotonous drawl of what becomes typical.

    Thing is I mentioned the disability, due to not wanting to have to address it later. I mentioned maybe needing part-time availability but not to an egregious point just to help with appointments, scheduled CT scans and what have you. It got a bit hectic and nearly weekly needing to get some infusion issues addressed and the likes that came with it…to be expected, at least, so I thought.

    Well I thought damn wrong. This is the first time I’ve been having a sneaking feeling that I’m being pushed out, my lunches are set far after the six hr threshold and they state a break should hold me down, should be enough. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but there’s a principle to it, the initiative of following laws and respecting people and their differences. Maybe there is a self-righteous aire to what I’m saying but, maybe, and please, comment back if you feel the need, is it so arrogant to request a respect for us being human, acknowledging that we each feel, sense, and are ourselves and with that come as an original slice of the whole. If we can see us to be the same yet different, can’t we respect ones predilections for work, rest, break, or fun?

    It’s like ‘guilty pleasures‘, what makes it guilty? There’s the argument of rights and wrongs, to which I’m the side of if there’s light, an altruistic and philanthropic nature, it makes sense of it being right. If there’s a violence against humanity, animals or otherwise, my view is it’s wrong. But where did the guilt come into play? Why is an engorging on Little Debbie’s a guilty pleasure, or enraged hip-hop after work, smoking, and drinking, where did the guilt get pushed, isn’t that a joy, something that we take as a breath of fresh air, a releasing of serotonin to a degree. And as I mention the above references, it calls for the adult and appropriate judgment to what is enough and how much can be too much.

    If I choose to smoke a joint, it’ll be a third, not the whole, a drink it’d be a glass not a neck, it’s all in moderation right?

    I’ve been guilty of being sloshed, Shitass McGee stupid and not knowing, thankfully I’ve grown, realized my limits and the caps I take heed to. I take the accountability, luckily, I feel that I have the tools to make what’s been done into growth and change. At times I feel that’s all we have, whether you’re an adult, teen, or an elder, it’s in what we strive for and how we take the steps to gain it. In only this way can we find a solace that is forever fleeting, least it feels that it gets closer still

    C’est la vie

    Goodnight and good morning, good morning and goodnight.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day Thirty-Seven, February 6th, 2024

    Hi-ho ad Hello.

    Remember the fears we had as children? The unfounded assurance of horrors we saw in our imaginations that we decided had more power than us?remember the darkness and how it enveloped all thoughts, regardless of the sounds heard from the t.v. and the parents talking over a late night coffee and an episodic series of crime and mystery? It didn’t matter that it was likely a Dick Wolf piece, maybe Robert Stack and those mysteries that trickled the airwaves. We saw evil. We saw the gnawing and gnashing of what had the ability to filet us from skin to bone without a bit of a wink.

    Remember how walking down the flight of stairs to the bedroom, regardless of the house full, music and chatting spread throughout, beyond a shadow of doubt there was something haunting, something oozing bleak and red, we swore as kids, we could feel the breath, smell the death. Remember?

    Our house has precarious lighting and odd spaces making it rather dark regardless of the time of year. Yes the blinds are open depending on the circumstances but my son, not only does he come with Autism but he’s a bit OCD calling for lights off, blinds shuttered, and darkness enough the screens show all. Usually I find solace in the dark, I enjoy the summer heat with slight moonlight. I enjoy going to bed in the dark, however, but to bring sounds unknown, thumps and bumps enough, and I have my eyes unblinking, glaring into the void of maddening dark. Yes, I don’t mind the dark.

    The site is called DreamDarkStories for a reason right?

    So I figured this weekend will be a good time for a drop of perhaps a short story, maybe some art. Something Dark, something hollow and calling in the black, the bleak, the nothingness of our fears.

    C’est la vie

    Goodnight and Good morning, Good Morning and Goodnight.

    Nosce Te Ipsum