Dream Dark Stories

Tag: health

  • Day One Hundred & Sixty-Nine, June 17th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    ENJOI!!!

    So…I keep losing weight and I’m noticing I’m getting weaker.

    To add to that, one of the reasons I’m off with my daily posts is the second infusion happened, but I feel that losing almost 30 lbs within a month and not trying to is maybe something that is needing attention…I don’t know. And I’m wishing I did but to that, I’m not going to panic until I have to, I’ll just enjoy being able to put on any jeans I have. 😁

    One of the great things about the five pillars is a building of resilience through finding oneself, however, if one takes the time to go through figuring out what means the most to you in figuring out those pillars. One through five, thoroughly, you’ll find an aspect of yourself awake. That something that laid dormant for so long and now it starts to stir. Silently at first, it stirs until your bones rattle within and the heart beating in the cage of its home sounds like castanets.

    It takes time. All of it takes time, and it takes patience, and a fundamental wanting to become the best of yourself, ourselves, that we can become.

    Give your health the time of day, give your heart the day of time with those you love, find the art in life that stills you, be cognizant of yourself and emotion and how you carry it through the days, everyday, because it may just be your last.

    To which, keep in mind ‘Memento mori‘ or ‘Remember that you must die’. It is an inevitable constant that none of us can defeat, and I’d like to carry my brightest day each day I live.

    It’s staying in line with being something better than what I was yesterday that has me going forward each day til there is nothing left to do.

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. Thank you for the support and coming back time and again.

    DirtySciFiBuddha, Anthony Robert, A, Ahzio, R. Thomas, tothebrotherswelost, Fox Reviews Rock, santable, LiteralCate, thank you, and to all I had missed or forgot to mention. Thank you.

    NOSCE TE IPSUM

  • Day One Hundred & Fifteen, April 24th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Chimney frogging Christmas! My dearest apologies. I don’t know if it’s the MS that’s bad or I was just not paying attention when I was posting things earlier. I do apologize, though as I did edit and revise.

    However, it’s still embarrassing, especially in the last couple weeks actually. Though I try to hold a steady front in being a-okay, but I’m missing pieces. There are bits of these sections within wanting to do the plans, wanting to finish through and oddly it doesn’t happen. I just kind of freeze up and go to doing something else forgetting about everything else that I had planned. And of course, not taking to the passion-planner or really anything, just kind of losing track in it all and damn it f****** sucks.

    And that I think is the biggest thing that I need to keep in mind, if I push too much and pile on too much, all at once there’s this shaking of it, like a quick whip at a sheet, those thoughts and plans scattered to find a place it drifts to, but it’s in disarray.

    It’s called brain fog. And for us MSers, it’s a double-edged blade.

    For anyone who does have MS, that is multiple sclerosis any of the degrees of MS, or the myriad of many other neurodegenerative diseases, there are a few things that we all share. One that I found that I don’t know where all aspects it affects, but my grandfather has Parkinson’s and the MS but I’m seeing this very prevalent nuisance called brain fog, and when it trickles in it’s like having a frothing whisk in your brain.

    And sadly, it’s different for everybody, it’s not something that I can share and say this is how it is for everybody, this is what’s going to happen, or mine is worse, others are better. It is a factor though that due to how it affects the brain, the brain fog, it affects more, it affects the liveliness and the legs, it affects the reaction time, it affects the duration of motivation, wanting, doing anything active, the duration of any of those actions are limited at best and it creates these driving for achieving pillar one of Jung’s, a salted, poisonous thorn that I’d like to remove.

    Anyhow I’m signing out tonight I will be back tomorrow, I’ve got editing to do for Forget-Me-Naught Pt. 2, thinking about maybe doing an art aspect to the whole since I have been working on this for years, we’ll see.

    C’est La Vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May you have a beautiful and gentle day, May the morning whisk you on gracefully, and the night comes to you effortlessly and in a pleasing manner. Stay safe and I’ll see you tomorrow, thank you.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Nine, April 18th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    Mental health is definitely a big deal and I respect those that understand this and know that it takes wisdom and a conscientious effort in making sure we each respect that benefit of willpower to making sure that we are better for ourselves.

    Sadly I don’t know if it’s the stresses of life, marriage the wantings of life love and the pursuit of happiness, the consistent and persistent my gosh journey for happiness and quality within ourselves, I wish I knew, truly I wish it was something that I can fully understand but with the few books I’ve read in the handful of philosophies I found myself to lean towards or agree with it still seems that the year 2024 most of us are trying to figure it out still most theories are continuing in trying to find a grasp.

    But it seems that with the incessant and clear knowledge that change is a complete relevant matter, as it is one of the constants, that is, when it comes to our emotions; our well-being, the routine, the getting familiar. When that changes, depending on who you are and how your upbringing, whether society melded you or nurturing hands did, the manifestation of oneself within the matter of change, is all going to depict a different story. Meaning: every time we’re faced with that adversity of life-changing, say a divorce, the death of a family member, the loss of the family dog that takes months, months, and months to find but still the search goes on. It calls for an adapting, a growing, but to say you’re done learning and to say you’re done growing is only and not being able to see the avenues where you can grow or learn.

    Personally, my head space…needs some love, a tending to the trimmings within, but, it also ties to my overall health where there are blots of space in my brain that have died. Hmmm? I stick with it I guess right? We find the issues we can and rely on the ability of our minds to see the mistakes repeated and then make an effort to change, to avoid the routines that have mucked up the path of each.

    I use Memento Mori, Balance, and maintain my artistic continuing with writing, poetry, and art.

    Speaking of…hope this is enjoyed.

    Untitled – M. R. Vega, Caran D’ache NEOCOLOR II AQUARELLE

    I guess that’s what it is when life is life, you see points of action, or a need to address things to be taken care of and we react. Whether that reaction comes with a positivity or that of the negative I think it’s on each of us. Not only that it calls to being accountable and not blaming everything else in your world for the things that are affecting or creating this beguiling in life. And I know I say that with a myriad of complaints or yapping about struggles but that’s also what I’ve been kind of addressing just fact that there’s such a difficulty to maintaining and continuing on one path. Anyhow this is certainly a late edit and drop I thank you very much.

    C’est La Vie

    I truly appreciate you, just for coming and glancing even for a moment. And to everyone I do wish a very wonderful morning and blessed good night. And to those a good night and a graceful morning to come.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & Five, April 14th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    So I did the math, the math of the 80/20 when it comes to relationship and time with my spouse. Just a regular day of working and not working and that’s from 7:00 to 4:30 then the rest of the day but 4:30 to about 10:30, but when she’s starting to drift sometimes 11:00 on a good day. So if a typical day following the 80/20 wish of hers, that means I am to stay out of her hair for 4.8 hours. So real talk the six 6.5 hours that she’s home and work isn’t going on or getting ready for work I am to stay out of her hair for 4 hours and 40 minutes so that’s an hour and 20 minutes. I don’t know, I feel there is something to talk about with this, but back to what I’m getting to. Upon realizing this and going about the first pillar of Carl Jung’s

    I made some goals and I’m gonna try to implement these starting this week. but that’s also while trying an arrangement of sorting and organizing my office and art studio, hopefully moving my son’s big-boy bed to his room and switching it with the massive playset bed for a curb alert and off my hands. And the painting that’s coming up…this’ll be fun.

    Goals

    Tai Chi. This will be something continued every morning. I’ve only done Tai Chi a handful of times though, so I’m motivated to gain a conscious grasp of my temple.

    Stretching – this a need for incorporating to my daily routine, there is definitely a call in needing to stay limber and ready for life, especially having to do with my son now a days.

    Water intake

    Protein

    Walking daily – I don’t promote running as I’ve come to find that it is more than damaging to my joints and my spine, especially now. But I’ve found that a fast paced walk covering over a mile daily has been a benefit. Honest,  I’ve become lazy with putting in an effort for my health so this I’m excited for. Especially with the prospect of some audio books or good tunes to carry the time by,

    Protein

    Water intake…

    Daily Workout – Maybe something chill … 30 push-ups, 15 pull-ups, 3×20 squats, jump-rope, but this I have to take cautiously and be mindful of the energy output and time to gain that back. I’m thinking two to three times and then a day of rest as I’ll be doing a myriad of other things throughout the days and weeks to come and on.

    Did I mention water?

    Punching Bag – this, though not new, hasn’t been done since pre Covid times, I’ll first need to find a spot for the 100 lb bag, then hoping it isn’t going to entice my dog to rip it to shreds, to make a couple minutes a day wailing into it and work on building up how long and how much I can put into building up my stamina.

    More hydration.

    These will be the tools I use to build up my body and create a solid foundation for maintaining my health and cleanliness.

    Then comes Cleaning…it’s active and keeps me going. Plus I’ve gotta get things organized so we’ll be sharing the Office space, the Art studio, and plans to be involved more through daily sharing and I think I may start posting this to IG too.

    There’s more to be done, more time to delve into the mental space and decluttering but first comes the actual cleaning and this will be practiced and shared. But I’m tired and tomorrow is going to be a doozy. Plus Part 3 of Stuck and Part 1 of Forget-Me-Naught by M. R. Vega. Oooh what a week to come?

    Playlist #0.8

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night to all of you readers, supporters, and bloggers. May your day to come be peaceful, the current one be graceful and the future be a gift.

    Nosce Te Ipsum

  • Day One Hundred & One, April 10th, 2024

    Hi-ho and hello.

    So this damn MS is the degradation of the myelin sheath (that’s the shield component that’s wrapped around the spine and the nerves). In essence what is happening currently and daily, hourly through life the myelin sheath is eating itself away, making it where all the nerves around whichever areas are highly impacted, they get damaged and die.

    So a couple months ago I panicked and somewhat demanded my neurologist to set up some scans and double check to make sure everything’s good. The reasons why was due to my face starting to get droopy, my gaite was changing, my sense of time, and conversation, a finding the right words… it’s become more difficult and more difficult.

    What I find humorous is when you go and do appropriate research, the findings for testing of Ocrevus are adequate to the ordeal it addresses. Positive, most definitely. However there’s the John Cunningham virus (JCV), a type of human polyomavirus. And when using Ocrevus and a myriad of other medications for many different purposes, the JCV can be reactivated for those who test positive. Guess what?

    That’s me!!!

    I am positive for the JCV, I am noticing a large amount of changes, enough that I’m needing to have my cane around, a lot, and it doesn’t seem the MS is slowing…yes I lament. It is something that sucks much more than you can comprehend and I don’t mean that rudely.

    Thing is I’m very proud of the strength and ability I have to provide for my son and my wife, and more and more it’s getting hard, it becomes a struggle to communicate appropriately and in a sense of old manner that can be understood, and I’m starting to lose a matter of strength when it comes to having fun with my son playing and roughhousing, wrestling, tickle fights, and piggy back rides. To top that there’s this matter of anxieties and concerns of health, because if life expectancy is cut short, my wife is on her own with our son. And this little guy, truly my lights for everything, is nonverbal with autism, and he needs somebody there, most of the time. He loves the tiny community he has with his parents and the therapist that he enjoys company with and the occasional uncle or two that come by. But outside of that what he loves and truly seems to want every day no matter what is his parents and the idea of not being able to be here for him something that sucks. So that’s again why I’m here to talk about taking advantage of living each day as best as you can and as fortuitous as possible. Live out life as best as you can.

    Playlist #0.5

    C’est la vie

    Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I truly hope you wonderful supporters and readers have a beautiful day and beautiful night and that life on is beautiful and wondrous.

    Nosce Te Ipsum