I find myself hesitating and gritting my teeth anxiously. Awaiting what, you may ask, the thing is I have no idea. I choke. Clear my throat, and… Ponder on life and the trivialities that come with it.
I think of life, the machines that are the daily routines we fall into and think of how to break it up without creating chaos. Is that possible though? Have we become so complacent with the routines that doing otherwise is too strange?
Partial Segway: Tattoos are so much more complicated than anybody can ever assume unless you are a tattoo artist.
I’m still pondering. Life is just strange and odd.
Did you know I sleep on a cot? It’s roughly three feet wide and a half 5ft 10in. We live in a four bedroom and I sleep on a f****** cot.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning good night. I think you for the support you show, I thank you for being you, I think you for being awesome, and I think you for coming time and again to show you give a damn thank you so very much.
5. The sweet smell of rain in the air right before the showers come.
6. The delicious dark elixir we call coffee
7. Nature in movement
8. A good painting
9. The feeling of leather and parchment.
10. Delicious sweet treats.
11. Tasties
12. Film
13. Movies like Interstellar, Life is Beautiful, and The Fountain
14. Horror stories like Stephen King’s Thinner
15. Someone to love
16. Someone to touch
17. Kissing
18. Hugging
19. inging
20. Turning on all my speakers so I’m enveloped by music
21. I know it’s an excessive action, but having my music on, the show on in the background, and doing my homework all at the same time brings a lot of joy
22. Doing the dishes (on my own terms)
23. Cooking a really good meal
24. Talking with somebody
25. Painting
26. Sculpting
27. Blog Writing
28. Sketching
29. The chill breeze of the summer leaving late at night in August
30. The quiet that stills my mind when the pen hits paper and I spill.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night.
May your night be blissful and your night be glorious. Thank you for being you, thank you for being awesome, thank you.
I don’t know why I was excited…like I’ve said a few times, I have no friends aside from John.
So wanna guess what happened…?
Nothing. Not that doesn’t happen every other time someone is invited, it’s the same damn thing… It’s not that that’s a problem, the birthday stuff that I wanted to do got to be done and the few things that didn’t fit into the timing, we have planned to be fit in other days, so not a big loss. It’s simply the wondering of why did I want a big party if I knew that I can only have a little one?
Maybe it’s knowing life is counting down, that life is being shaved off day by day, death is inevitable, Memento Mori, right?
Or maybe there was a full hope that spontaneous calls were made to invite some familiar faces…I digress, this wasn’t the case. But oddly it was more pleasant than expected. I celebrated with my wife and son, celebrated with my brother and managed to get my hands on some delicious sweets like Cinnamon Crunch, and Gourmet Caramel popcorn. Mmmm and frozen dried fruit roll ups that are more than addicting.
Anyhow if you find yourself in Pueblo Colorado I’d advise that you try Tastee’s Carnival Treats.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. Okay thank you for the support and the coming back and again. Especially @dirtysci-fiBuddha.
Thank you for being you, thank you for being awesome.
A day away and I’m more than excited oddly, I even have a more than long playlist that I made. It’s more than sixteen hours of music for the third of August.
Here’s the thing…I’m not one to go selfish where it becomes a day all about me, I like making sure I host well and make sure everyone else is h appy when there’s the celebration times. Given I’m the cook and it’s usually done at my house, hosting becomes second nature and then by the end of the day I’m tired and spent.
I’m not doing that this year.
I don’t know what I’m going to do yet but I’m aiming on for once focusing on my day, I surpassed Jesus. And to be honest I was petrified for a minute that I would maybe not make it beyond 33.
Foolish, I know, but I don’t take the best care of my body, I don’t eat a regular diet, I tend to overdo it on sweets and happen to have an insatiable craving for coffee.
Anyhow I’m excited for the birthday to come. Excited for what eventually be today.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I thank you for the support shown and hope your day is beautiful and the night wondrous. May light be a blessing.
Congrats, we’ve made it to the end of the summer break. Those of you with kids are likely elated, others not so much as you’re maybe going back to school. I’m in both boats on this one oddly.
My wife, the teacher, is going back to work and is on her last leg of days left before she gets back to the grind. My boy though…he’ll be starting home school.
I’m excited, getting to be a small portion to the teaching element is going to be fun with him. I’m excited to see the successes of his throughout the next few months.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May the day be gentle and the night be blissful. I thank you for the support and would love to hear some commentary.
Good evening, the nights gentle air lays crisp and fresh. It’s quiet, almost serene and the crickets chirp. I just want to show you real quick what it’s like with memory and finding the right words this is a depiction of what that is like.
“The…the…what’s it called…the things…water jets…no f****** stupid…water fount…no, no, no stop you fool…sprinklers. it’s sprinklers, yes”
I s*** you not, that is my everyday and when I’m writing it more than f****** sucks. It’s like having someone stamp into your mental space with no warning wherever it’s wanted to land and you’re just struck with this complete loss for mostly anything and everything, even hunger.
I digress, I wish you a happy last day of July.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I pray your day be bright with love and the night blissful with power and bliss.
Thank you for the support and coming back again. Thank you for being you and being awesome.
Do you ever find yourself angry at the world? Then find yourself wondering why the f*** am I angry? But then regardless of that wondering, there’s this resounding frustration that’s boiling down at the core and you don’t know why the f*** it’s there but you know it’s there. What you try to do instead is squelch it, suffocate it, muzzle the f*****, you do anything you can to ignore it because you know facing it will make it that much more painful? Do you ever find yourself doing this?
My birthday is on the third this next month, just days away, and though I am excited, there is in fact a resounding saltiness that has me gritting my teeth and clenching down harder than I want to.
I question why.
Hmmm. 🤔
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May your day be effortless in fishing happiness and may the night be simply sweet.
What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?
It’s odd that this is the question today. And I say this because I think of family often and find myself reminiscing in that familiar realm we like to call nostalgia.
Of course this nostalgia derived from something so long ago. That what becomes reminiscint more and more, the nostalgia and what it’s tied to, the childhood of youth.
But then again tradition stands resolute when things that were a tradition die or fade, enough that they stand as a fogged mirage. My family is one that stands as a mirage nowadays that I’ve kept close but still gets further to grasp year by year.
But that’s life isn’t it? We grow and some things grow with us while others fall off or are left behind.
Of those things that have grown with me and still stand as tradition it would and always be the reunion. And sad to say but it’s the last tradition that there is to be saved.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I thank you for the support. Thank you for being you.
I know I’m late, I do apologize, life just tends to either become overwhelming or my planning is off and then I just get to a point where I just don’t do it. And maybe that’s not good maybe I should continue on and fight through the fatigue regardless if I would jumbled and bumbling I am, but I try to make sure everything’s cohesive and makes sense at least a little bit.
It’s one of the things I actually appreciate about MS, mind you I know how crazy that sounds, but there is a bit of truth to it. It’s brought a need to slow down and truly, truly, breathe in the f****** day. So this is me slowing down. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Okay maybe it would have it another way, maybe I would ask for things to be a tad different, to have a little bit more energy, to not have so much fatigue, to not see my world as though I’m looking through a bad reception type TV screen. The image is there, the sound is there, but I’ve got all this interference here there in about everywhere.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. Thank you very much for your support, thank you for coming back and again. Do comment, do like, and do share.
Do you ever feel like a failure when you forget to post?
I know I do.
But I remind myself it’s okay, I know corny, but we need to remember to forgive ourselves and not be so judgemental for the shortcomings that may invade the typical wearing of a week or months.
Don’t forget it’s okay to misstep a time and again. Shit happens. It’s life.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. O thank you for the support and coming again.
It’s funny, I agree with a few of the writers that have also posted about how this prompt is a bit out of left field. Defining oneself and describing oneself, is this on a figurative level is this on an objective level.
Objectively I’m 5 ft 8, weighing at 169 lb, with shoulder length curly hair, tan skin, wearing khaki shorts, cargo, and a black T-shirt, with black shoes and black socks. I’m currently sweating beads of moisture while I take a break outside.
Subjectively, I’m a wondering spirit that wants freedom but at the same time wants the consistency of what is, being family, marriage, being with one’s that are to be tended to. To be in love. I’m loud, exuberant, joyous, trying to see life on the brighter side, with a deistic approach to spiritualism and I practice stoicism. When extremely excited I tend to get garish and like flaunting things I’m good at when the moments are deemed appropriate. I’m an artist, a writer, a poet, a short story writer, dreamer and a lover. My writing is hopefully taking its own form and finding a niche that works, the thing is I feel that we as people have more than one niche and are allowed to be a wide variety of it deems appropriate personally that’s where I’m at I’m going to share how I feel because this is who I am and I hope I’m not abusive with my language or aggressive with my incessant posting. I just want to share that life is too short and too great, too beautiful to pass up enjoying the moments that we have every day with the ones we love and the ones we don’t know yet.
But in truth I’m a fighter for what’s right, I’m one to stand on the soap box of being true and accountable. I love life, love expression, and showing the love. I stand by the ones that stand for me and always will and will stand behind those who are needing it because it’s what’s right and it’s what’s true. I work hard push hard and will fight hard for what’s right. Equality matters, people matter and we’ve got to understand that.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I thank you for coming back and again. Thank you for being you. Thank you for the support. Comment, share, like.
I calculated last night how long I slept last week, each night. The average was 3 hrs and 40 min.
I don’t think it’s healthy, but what can I do?
Truly, what is there to do when the melatonin doesn’t kick in enough and the fatigue calls for caffeine during the day? Where does the middle ground lie?
It’s 12:40 a.m. I am wide awake gave a stab at tattooing my arm. Curious to see how the outcome will turn out holding I didn’t do any blowouts because, well it looks gross. I’m just going for a black arm band, nothing decorative, nothing elaborate, literally just a black armband that’s it and the reason why? Because I think it looks cool. And if it looks splotchy and wrecked, I’ll get it covered boo hoo hoo. 😋
So the reason I’m acting so nonchalant, is because check this out, I’m an adult, and I can decide what I choose to do, eat, say, how I breathe, and how I react. And you know what’s really really cool? When you really look at it, when you really pull back and take a big f****** look at life, it’s okay. It’s okay to do things a little crazy, it’s okay to do your own tattoo, it’s okay to draw on yourself, it’s okay to please yourself. Of course do it with kindness, do it with nurturing and never violence, but that’s something awesome we have a choice. How does that feel? You and I have a choice to be what we want to be and react and act accordingly.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May the day be blissful, the night a cherished one with that gleaming gorgeous moon above you. May your life be as wondrous as you allow it to be. Thank you for your support thank you for being awesome and thank you for being you.
My buddy and I, we were coming back from Vegas, both a little inebriated, both very tired, very hungry, and needing a bed. But Russ was too fixated on getting back home, he wanted to be with his girl. Felt that going to Vegas betrayed her and he couldn’t do with that. So we found ourselves heading up route 66 and happened to be hitting New Mexico before, well before it came.
The thing is, New Mexico has spirits, and the blood of many lost in the soil. I was well aware of this and crossed my fingers and toes; Russ, not so much. He was a type of ‘I need proof’ son of a b****.
I knew better though and kept my foot on the pedal as often as I could. I didn’t look in my mirrors, but I did tell Russ to keep an eye out, in case the cops wanted to tag us. We drove on.
Dusk was quickly approaching. Russ needed to piss, I was getting hungry and there was rumor Lottaburger was only miles up the road. I shouldn’t have, I know that now, but I digress, we stopped for a quick bite and filled up on gas. I drained myself after grubbing and told Russ he’d better do the same if he knew better. He didn’t, mind you.
We jumped back in the truck and headed up Route 66. He couldn’t help himself though, Russ started crooning for his Mrs. Lamenting in his woes of his betrayal to her he started blaming my impulse as a toxic trait. I told him to shut up and keep an eye out, I was going 20 over already and wanted to get home too, knowing something was in the air.
We continued driving, turned up the radio and enjoyed the winter chill in the air as we drove on.
We talked of our ladies, of his guilt for Vegas, my hankering for another drink, and the wanting of a warm bed. We both moaned at the words bed and started laughing loudly when Russ went white like a sheet and stared straight out the front of the truck.
I asked what had happened, he just shook his head and leaned forward meaning to crane his neck away from anything but the front of the truck. I had a eerie feeling that we were being watched.
I refused to look at the mirrors, and kept my eyes straight following the example set by Russ.
What is it? I asked. Shook his head, and maintained sealed lips. I began to scream at him to tell me what it is. And I s*** you’re not I swear I started seeing tears slow down his cheeks. I took to the looking at the mirror, my foot pushed through the pedal I had every intention of making it home alive.
What happened to be behind us was a white dog, standing on its hind legs running and almost matching speed with us. My blood curdled, my skin felt as though it was peeling off and I took began to weep. I couldn’t let off the gas. And seeing the large dog like a feral monstrous beast barring down on us had me entirety tight and quivering.
What do we do? Russ asked screaming, what the f*** are we going to do? I didn’t have an answer, I had no idea what to do I looked at him shook my head, press my foot as hard as I can against the floor of the truck and didn’t look back.
We drove like bats out of hell in record time making it back home within hours.
Russ and I both looked at each other once we pulled up to the house, look behind us, and saw nothing. We sat there dumbfounded, absolutely sure that we had both seen a giant white dog running on its hind legs. And even still as I tell this story my gut sinks, my skin crawls, my blood curdles, because the fact of the matter is it was an omen. That white dog was the worst omen when could ever face. Death.
I told Russ it’s nothing, told him it’s just the internet, I told him it was our imagination, playing tricks on us in our drunken stupor.
I guess we get nicknames through our growing up. I don’t know about you, but thinking of nicknames now, I had a few but all during my time of being a kid and playing sports. Names like Mattman, Chewy, or Matty are more the ones I care to remember given that they came from family and loved ones. But then on the other side I’ve got names like fathead, Bt, Bergals***, F*****, and those of course are ones I care not to really remember but that’s life I guess I don’t know what I am proud of is that I have my name and I love my name and who I am with that name that I carry proudly and that is Matthew Ryan whether I use my official last name or my writing last name is my choice but I do love the name I have,
Luckily mattman was a nickname when I was really little from an uncle and he would like sing the Batman theme song but just with Mattman instead, big head another kid nickname for just having a big dome and a lot of hair. But Chewy is my favorite and we’ll probably stay a favorite memory as it’s tied to when I love to play baseball and truly just loved the game for playing the game. I used to be a catcher and I was a catcher for eight years and pretty good at it and yeah acquired the name from all the other teams and it was Chewy because I was big haired and kind of crazy looking was dyed red purples whites and what have you.
But that’s life we grow up some people never get bullied others do it’s whether you let it affect you or you rise above and f*** it all you know what I mean who am I to let all that s*** affect me especially now like I am who I am and I love who I am yeah and I think that’s it.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I thank you for the support and continuing to come back again. May your night be bliss and the day ahead be gracious and enduring. Thank you for being you.
These three pieces were just fun, I was more or less just trying to get comfortable with holding something bulky cuz I want to get into tattooing and trying to understand the art of tattooing because it’s nowhere near the same as anything that I’ve done before so these are three pieces that had nothing to do with anything but just trying to work with holding things awkwardly.
(Could possibly be edited)
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. Thank you for the support and continued coming back again.
Was given a project to write about an object in an objective form. Below is that objective description.
It is a box. It is a small black cardboard dusty box with Westworld printed on the top lid portion. It is a product of LootCrate and it is approximately a 6.5in x 11.5in x 4.5in box that may or may not contain contents.
Next up I was told to write a poem based on said objective description but using figurative language, what do you think?
Black Box
By: M R. Vega
Dark and brooding it sits.
Schrodinger’s cat may be within.
Black and daunting dusted, boxed and emboldened.
It sits silent, ruminative, old, dark and brooding.
Schrodinger’s Cat it isn’t.
Black and daunting, never moving, always still. It sits.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May your day be gracious and your night be blissful. I thank you for your support and coming back again and again. Thank you for being awesome thank you for being you.
What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?
With MS it is a tricky ordeal, as it happens to have a mind of its own at times, this brings on a myriad of precarious circumstances that has me anxious, stressed, and more than overwhelmed.
The thing is this, there are days that are gentle and I’m having a great day, my body feels right with the world, I’m more composed and grounded. Then there are others where my mind seems removed, I’m all there but the issue of landing on my feet is that I can’t see the ground.
Life is bonkers, chaotic, and I need to sleep I have not been sleeping at all. So I’m signing out I’ll be back tomorrow and hopefully sharing some art.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning good morning and good night.T
What plans, my plans to travel? It’s intriguing and there’s definitely places I’d like to visit Washington is one, Marysville to be exact. But it’s likely not a quaint little city anymore. I would imagine it to be given less I remember it was 2002 when I was there maybe even before that. I know, I do want to travel eventually, but given my son with his autism, my health, and just life, the prospects become more daunting and not all that enticing. That said, what I would like to do is become more familiar with my town and the people here. Not only that, but become more understanding to all of Colorado. Where I live, I genuinely love the people and the support that I’ve seen. And it’s that support and watching the fortuitous grace shown that boosts my spirits. There’s something truly awesome-inspiring when you see a small/big town all coming together to bring gifts, food, goods, and presents to those less fortunate really shines a light to what life is like here in P-town. It’s the courageous efforts in helping one another that I would love to know and talk with. So yeah I would love to travel, but what I want to do is travel here in Colorado and truly meet the people that are Colorado.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May your day be beautiful, your night be gracious and thank you for being awesome. Thank you for your support, till tomorrow.
Alabaster stone, carve me a tomb to pay debts ahead for the home that I find alone and barren.
Alabaster stone take me to the throne, to the cage that will become my forever home.
Alabaster stone bring me your sheen, it’s translucency forever mirroring the many, your curved stone cold to lips bare and bleeding.
Alabaster stone, whole people cold and languid to the bone, stupefied to the core for nothing more than the gore that is the screens before, pale, soft and white, porous and leeching like the teeth that clench.
Alabaster stone, woe me the worries of the cage that keeps me barren and stolid, let me shake and stir, but don’t touch through the evanescence and translucency of an empty promise.
Alabaster stone, shine your cool white light of earthen trembling cage around my bones it’s sedimentary reason for being scrapped and bruised, keep me still through and bore for what it is.
Alabaster stone, keep me true to the whole of what is you, what is me, alabaster stone shine your sheen it’s translucency to the truth of what may be forever your cold languid white blank screen.
Alabaster stone, carve me a tomb to pay debts ahead for the cage that I find alone and barren.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I thank you for the support I see each day, I thank you for being you and coming back again and again.
I pray your day and night be worthy and splendid. Stay safe and have a good day.
Dream Dark Stories 