Hi-ho and hello.
Silence evades my keep, it’s where the blaring horns never seem to cease. A facade to the ears of might and glory, when all it is is a banshee’s scream. Clouded judgements remind of something unclear in the decades past but it’s miles out of reach, too far for even a glance, a glimmer of hope doesn’t make an invite.
Season tides, a winters longing sigh, the summer stench of what burns under the sun flaming, burning, churning.
C’est La Vie
NOSCE TE IPSUM
‘Know Thyself‘
What advice would you give to your teenage self?
Hi-ho and hello.
So give it a rewind and reset the mic. If I had the opportunity to talk to my teenage self I’d likely start with a quick kick to the nuts. no wait, I’d sit back and watch his hopeless hopeful ass make a fool of himself, I’d tick the areas of concern due to the MS and observe the future decisions that are bound to me and this is when I’d speak.
I’d try to be peaceful, though a part of me would want to gouge my eyes out and another part would want to hug me and say everything is gonna be okay.
But my words directly would be this: Hold on, don’t rush, and hold on.
I think that’s what I’d try to convey. That life is a chaotic mess and me being in a hurry to grow up doesn’t need to be the case. ‘You’ll find a woman and marry. You’ll have children and you don’t need to be in a hurry anymore.’
C’est La Vie
NOSCE TE IPSUM
‘Know Thyself’
How much would you pay to go to the moon?
Hi-ho and hello.
I don’t know about this prompt. Who wants to travel to the moon? Who wants to waste millions upon millions for a matter of days in space when life here is still partly unknown, our seas have barely been searched through let alone fully and definitively discovered. (Maybe they have)
But how much has been scoured and pilfered through? This though implies I want to see this and that’s not a fact. I actually find it deplorable that we bother the seas as much as we do. Whoa I’m thinking too much.
My mind drifts off into the great yonder and I don’t fight it. I sit and envelop the dreams and scape that rests against the still tapestry of what I call my mind.
Tell us about your favorite pair of shoes, and where they’ve taken you.
Hi-ho and hello.
Oh this shoe! How it’s kept me sturdy, kept me rigid. Kept me standing. Oh this shoe!
Oh the shoe my dear, oh this shoe! What strength it gave, what devotion it showed. Oh this shoe.
Through day and night, sun and darkness, what a shoe. It kept me balanced, it kept me going forward and only rarely looked back.
I sweat in the shoes, I was sick in the shoes, I cried in these shoes and still found comfort within.
Oh this shoe, oh this shoe, a decadent envelopment for the feet to carry through the day and to run the night away.
Oh this shoe, it seen the fights, it’s bared the heartbreak, it’s endured the rage and overall it stood the test of age.
Oh this shoe, still in a closet waiting it’s time, oh this shoe how graceful it’s been, and now it’s done forever and again.
C’est La Vie
NOSCE TE IPSUM
‘KNOW THYSELF’
Here I stand, staring back at all the troubles I started. Times once again where I failed and remise upon the facts that have settled after the dust fell behind my searing soul.
I needed you upon reentry and couldn’t find the tether that left me balanced. Instead I suffocated upon the salting fat of the lies I made myself as cushion for my fall. A foolish attempt at embracing my demise.
I languidly drown in this pilfered quicksand not fighting the outcome or needing an audience. I sink, and sink, and sink.
C’est La Vie
NOSCE TE IPSUM
‘KNOW THYSELF’
What alternative career paths have you considered or are interested in?
Hi-ho and hello.
I want to help others. Not just that I want to be a beneficial point for each person I meet on the job in an effective and transformative way for the positive.
Funny thing is I was going to originally be a teacher and was aptly bound to the idea for quite some time. Circumstances change though and my small job brought on a tendency to help, truly benefit others, and I turned the corner towards counseling.
Now my decisions changing have me at a precipice of decisions, decisions, and more decisions, do I want to be a mental health provider, marriage counselor, suicide prevention agent, the list is nearly limitless but wait…can I handle this?
Am I up to the challenge though, am I capable to be unbiased and come with a open mind and open heart to everybody’s circumstances and situations?
I ponder on this thought and can’t wait to start my Masters.
C’est La Vie
NOSCE TE IPSUM
‘KNOW THYSELF’
What food would you say is your specialty?
Hi-ho and hello.
It’s been too long since I’ve truly delved into myself with cooking but I guess I’d say my go to and specialty would be green Chili.
Simple as that.
A Poem by Matthew Berg
A darkened blanket, space included, stars sparse and the light dwindles.
Shrouded in cotton, Adorned in twilights last dying light.
A flitter and flutter, a last dying gasp at the decay of it all.
The heart’s dwindling rhythm loses traction from its groove.
A quiet example of detriment and extinguished salvation.
C’est La Vie
NOSCE TE IPSUM
‘KNOW THYSELF’
It’s time to Blog, as the title goes. Calling to the detrimental values of the blaring screen, the coaxing melodies of what’s to be written, to be forsaken. Call it my heart breaking.
Do you listen? Are you fretting? Do you stare at the screens, that forever reeling, rolling ticker with news of dread and damnation? Do you take to the descent of what is coming or can you find the ascension to something bigger, something profoundly greater?
But this calls for attention, a rigid reflection of solutions outside of you. Look to those that nurture, those that care. Look to knowledge as a stone and a weapon to greater success. To greater understanding. To a greater outcome than that placid tone that moves never and collects grime and soot.
C’est La Vie
Nosce Te Ipsum
‘Know Thyself‘
Hi-ho and hello.
I’ve taken to a gander of the simple things and reflect on change. We can call it a redefining self image in retrospect. Never, it even smells like guacamole. Perhaps a remolding, a reimagining of the shit I think matters which is everything and nothing like my music that sparks from Iceland, to Italy, around the world back here at home. Who knows? Call it chasing patience, call it a nature of habit, this is how I want it.
I’ve been thinking of the chaos and monotone that is life, the chaos that is the news as of late and the disruptions to normalcy that we’ve become so accustomed to. But… What holds to the breath? Who? Is there a sideshow casting a bigger shadow than what’s before us? I, like a fool, hold to hope and keep my eyes to the stars for s glimmer of something shining. Hopefully, it won’t be a bullet for my mind. Maybe just a pistol for the paper at my fingers… Maybe. Just maybe.
C’est La Vie
Nosce Te Ipsum
The day started as most usually do. We all woke groggily and apprehensive to the day but languidly took to throwing shirts on, laborious jean wrangling and messy short brushes to mops of hair that were too far gone to take the task. I, like the rest, tediously meandered around the clothes, knit picked through socks, even though there was a gleaming pair right at my feet, I let time hang like a tenuous thread of lacquered wax. This had become my new tendency, my new norm, the languid act of being. I made very little attempts to giving a damn. I’d of course make lunches, tidy up the house, get the kids ready, but all to get them out of my hair.
I was more than sure that the Mrs knew. Of course she knew, she knew everything. At least that was the mannerisms and the behavior of the household, Mama knew all. But still the day started the same. Mom get into the makeup, me the husband scrounging up the rest of the household and getting everybody ready. I’d say it was a task but it was them that made it easy. The boys hurried and hustled to get ready, their little sis following suit so as not to be left behind made work all the easier and the tasks lighter for the load after they hauled to the car and left.
The day was barren though and left the taste of iron in the mouth. Teeth gritting, mind spinning, and exhaustion that knew nothing but fatigue hampered the rest of the day, that was until I took to going outside. I had taken to the dogs, Fed them, made sure they had enough water for the rest of the day, and decided to treat myself. I loaded myself a bowl of fine weed and took to stoking the blaze until it ran dry. I loaded another one, call to a dog or two, I gave them some pats and a treat and took to lighting the second bowl and enjoying the day. Enjoying my morning as quiet and somber as it was. But then an inkling took to me, something hung on the inside of my aching brain that had me think something was a mess.
I took to the back door and could have swore I saw a movement behind the glass.
I burst open the back door and scuttled in going as quickly as I could through the kitchen into the living room swearing I saw something. But nay, there was nothing. I look to the front door and my gut sank, the front door was unlocked. Did I not lock it when I kissed the kids goodbye, signed I love you to my wife, did I not lock it? I could have swore I locked the door. But then I heard a creak and a movement inside my home. Silence took, my ears rang, my breathing slowed, and I swear I heard the shuffle of the feet.
Was today my demise? Was there somebody in the house? What’s the intention? Is there a scythe, is there a blade, is there a gun? Is there someone brooding in the darkness waiting?
Hi-ho and hello everyone.
How are you today? How are you this week, or this last month?
On a personal level, I’m here. I’m alive and I’m breathing a familiar air. But, there’s a hitch. My health has considerably slowed my reaction time, my processing, and delivery to all factors of my reality. And let me tell you, it’s a doozy.
So, the thing is health, am I right? The answer is yes. I am right. For the simple fact of this, Multiple Sclerosis is a sorry bastard that hangs on the back of the mind like a monkey with a cause. And sorry to tell you, everyone is different. Some are treated with minor degrees of issue, balance, minor vision alterations, and some confusion. Others have the joy of the MS hug, cold limbs, tingly skin, sensations of flesh burning, and oh yeah confusion, memory issues and so on. Then you have the ones with mobility issues and assorted issues as mentioned above. Everyone is different and it makes the disease an isolating son of a b****.
My balance is being questioned on a daily, I lean this way, fall that way and stumble around like a drunken buffoon. I don’t drink. At all. My vision blurs and fades, colors dwindle, and taste disappears. But the worst, honestly, the worst aspect of it all, is what is happening within. Mentally.
I’m chasing my mind with a net like a sieve catches sand. It’s effortlessly useless though. I’m chasing a figment of myself through the red forest and when grasped, it comes in sharpened blades slicing away at what’s left. It’s like chasing what’s in the mirror, there’s nothing to be caught and if ever it’s feasible, it’s a downgraded and filibustered variety that doesn’t compare to even the most basic form.
Think Picasso writing his memoir through paint with a fever.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning. Good morning and good night. May your day be bright and the night be bliss.
NOSCE TE IPSUM
What major historical events do you remember?
Hi-ho and hello.
Well let’s see…🤔, I remember lots but a little due to being a reader growing up. I’d say I remember the chaos in Mogadishu, but that was an uncle young recalling his memory and me either vicariously recalling the same due to an idolizing of my elders. Hell, what kid didn’t want to be like their uncles and parents?
But I can recall the Lewinsky shit show that hit the White House, and of course I remember Columbine. One certainly supercedes importance due to the lives lost and the face of the American school that changed forever after. I remember the Oklahoma bombing too. Jesus! Then comes 9/11 and that was something else. I remember the radio being on at school, the teacher hushing us. The audacity in the adults eyes. The hushing and shushing that happened while they all questioned the realities that were panning out in real time over the radio and the TV. Ohhh I remember the TV. I remember thinking it couldn’t be real and then I saw the first body fall. The rest is history. Fuck. This sucks recalling these things. But it’s life, right?
I’d wish historical events had some glimmers of hope in recalling what I can but this is it without taking to the internet.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I thank you for the support shown. And apologize for giving up for as long as I have I seemed to have last traction and fell out of the groove lately.
May your day be as good as it can get and the night be brighter than the night before.
NOSCE TE IPSUM
What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take — but haven’t been able to?
Hi-ho and hello.
Risk. I like the game, I appreciate the opportunities given on the scale of a cardboard ie of risk is outlandishly unforgiving. Though that’s said, I get it, because it’s gripped with the imagination and all the possibilities.
A Poem
M. R. Vega
Faith, a spirit wandering. Juxtaposed against the grain of the flurried days we have before us. Faith, a beaten spoil for all the grandeur ripped away. The contrast of light and dark has lost its grasp and slips, slips, slips. Faith, the blue and purple pulp of hope, flashed and bruised, Faith, the beaten golden wonders of all that died in the gleaming of hours. Becoming transactional, losing the relations, traditions scrapped to save a dime, Faith now a smoldering bitch weeping at the ash beneath. Wishing the find a glimmer. Wishing to find a glimpse of a hope that’s suffocating. Suffocating. Can we resurrect? Do you want to?
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. May the day be in your favor and may the night be gracious and bring dreams of light.
NOSCE TE IPSUM
What’s something you believe everyone should know.
Hi-ho and hello.
I believe everyone should know that life isn’t simple, nor is it difficult, it’s a matter of perception in how you let the world direct you or you direct it.
C’est La Vie
NOSCE TE IPSUM
What’s something most people don’t know about you?
Hi-ho and hello.
Hmm. I’m a pretty open book as it happens to be. The few things I don’t share, I won’t share due to my privacy wants and needs.
But, not that it’s new news, I’ve happened to be dealing with an increase of progression with the MS and lately it’s like my mind, thoughts, and the links connected are shoved deep in the recesses of what’s left of my brain. It’s like thinking through a gelatinous pudding that sticks thickly to my everything and I’m left with a brief whisp of whatever it was as it decays before my eyes and the memory is swept away.
It’s odd how quickly this transition has been, two infusions and I thought I’d be sharper, a bit more resilient to the myelin degradation, but it’s like watching an accident in slow-motion and there’s nothing to be done but to watch.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I thank you for the support shown and coming back and again. Thank you. May your night be joyous and sweet and the day be gentle and decadent.
NOSCE TE IPSUM
Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?
Hi-ho and hello.
A Lazy Day, unproductive?
Nay!!
I’d say as long as the day is one, maybe two days of R&R.
I feel that once it’s overextended one becomes complacent and bored. But, I ask, what is a lazy day?
I ask due to being a stay-at-home parent. The job never really ends, only pauses for moments, sometimes hours, but never a day.
So is the lazy day one that resides outside of a typical day that involves a barrage of needs for my child and the puppy? Can it be something that is separate? But then comes the guilt in having the nerve to ask for something like that.
Being a parent is a full time job that overtly exceeds the hours one would expel at say, a desk job, or really a multitude of others. My attention needs to be here and resilient to fatigue with a capability to do all I can for my boy and the Mrs. So R&R comes in bouts of 15 minutes there, a half hour here and the likes due to wanting to be attentive and here.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I thank you for support shown and pray that the night is gently cascading over your soul and that the day is bright and beautiful for you.
NOSCE TE IPSUM
What are you most proud of in your life?
Hi-ho and hello.
I’m most proud of my children and my marriage—13 years together and still going.
I have four children and I’m0 ma’am, proud of every one of them. Sadly there are two that I don’t have the joys of being with as they are hundreds of miles away but I’m grateful that I can care for them from a distance and send an occasional treat, present, or two.
Luckily, I’ve got the grace to be able to have two in my life that are close, my babygirl Zap and her brother Z. I get to be here for Z every waking moment to be sure his life is as perfect as it can be, given he’s nonverbal and autistic it definitely keeps me on my toes and in a quiet realm but I love my time with him and being able to care for him. I cherish each child and hope that through the years I get to know each better and in a deeper level than face value.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. Thank you for the support shown and coming back and again. I thank you and truly cherish you.
May your day be joyous and bright, may the night be graceful and gentle.
NOSCE TE IPSUM
When you think of the word “successful,” who’s the first person that comes to mind and why?
Hi-ho and hello
Hmmm? Family. Life. The people that affect our theories and realities.
It’s between my wife and an uncle that is so distant he’s become more of a figment of something real than anything. So we’ll quickly pivot over to the Mrs.
We’ve been together for eons, 13 years exactly, and I’ve found her to be invaluable to my life.
The thing is, she’s a teacher. Not only is she a teacher, she’s the CNA for our son and the breadwinner of our lives.
I’ve watched her grow to blossom into a beautiful soul that’s in tune with her students and the sociology of everyday life. She happens to connect with her students better than the rest and has them feel comfortable enough that they get to be their true selves. I find that commendable and amazing. Especially as a student still, I think it’s amazing that she has the tenaciousness and patience to do it day in and out as a teacher and to do it for their benefit tickles my be spirit.
She’s successful and she shows it with her many degrees. I’m proud to be her partner through hell and high water.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I thank you for the support shown and appreciate you coming time and again. Thank you, may your day be joyous, and may your night be forever great.
NOSCE TE IPSUM
What makes a good neighbor?
Hi-ho and hello.
Today, I’m not going to necessarily answer the prompt, instead, I’m going to come with another question. As it is these prompts aren’t law and nearly act as a mere thread to consciousness. So here it is:
You know what makes a shitty neighbour?
It was the first thing that came to my mind upon seeing the daily prompt. What makes a shitty neighbour?
Well I’ll tell you. It’s Druggies. Not your cigarette smoking chain loving types that have a need for carcinogens, or your booze loving, weaving lopers that loon to the moon in the dark. It’s the crouched, smeagol like needy bastards that come with their pock marked arms and their twitchy feet stagnant of a following the walkway and near blind to gates and what one would call a yard. They fumble and trot every which way like zombies in the night and come from every angle only fearing the light.
They bring a smell of dark chemicals, something seething and frothing at the holes of the mass and mess it is.
They darken the neighbourhood and bring a lacking of brightness, like a vacuum for cleanliness to rid us of our humanity.
Whoa.
Sorry.
Hmm. Guess I don’t like our neighbours.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning good night. I thank you for your support and appreciate that the coming time and again. May your day be joyous and your night be beautiful and splendid. Thank you.
NOSCE TE IPSUM
What could you try for the first time?
Hi-ho and hello.
There are so many things, so many damn things, but then I have to put into thought, my life. The path I have with my boy and my wife, and so there are a lot of things that I would have liked to do in the past, yes. Though looking at it now I’m grateful that I am living my life the way it is.
But what I can try…is keeping to schedule and routine. For god’s sake. Seriously.
I think of a survivalist, the last Alaskans, shows like Alone and books like Hatchet, and remember that my life is a treasure, to say the least. I’ve been graced with love, with the roof over my head and food in my mouth and tummy. What more can I ask for if I have everything I need.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I thank you for your support and showing up time and again. Truly may your day be joyous and your night beautiful.
NOSCE TE IPSUM
What principles define how you live?
Hi-ho and hello.
Principles
A noun that refers to a fundamental truth, rule, law, guideline, or idea that guides behavior. For example, “The principle of non-violence is the cornerstone of Mahatma Gandhi’s philosophy“.
My Principles that I try to practice on a daily.
Sadly, the last one ‘keeping my fires burning’ is likely smoldering ash but can be resurrected I hope. I’m trying to wake up and pull myself from whatever this is but it’s like jumpstarting a 1953 Studebaker Land Cruiser.
Hmmm. Life.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning good night. Thank you for your support and thank you for coming back in again. May your day be bright and your night be gentle.
NOSCE TE IPSUM
What have you been putting off doing? Why?
Hi-ho and hello.
So, as you can tell, this is being dropped on the 25th/26th and it’s titled for the 11th.
Hmmm. I think that gives an answer in itself, don’t you?
I’ve become a shambled heap with my mind. I’m still here, I can think for myself, it’s my thoughts that trail off to ash leaving little if anything to grasp and use.
Paintings I’ve let dry up, stories I let drift to a stupifying halt, ideas that become outlines and drift to scribbles of the unknown, illegible and ill-gotten.
Instead I’ve recoiled to something unmoved, something sedentary and more concrete.
I don’t know if it’s my health, I don’t know if it’s my medication, I just don’t have a lick of creativity to spare and I am trying but it drifts and that last word lingers on the tip of my tongue for a minute too long, forgetting where I was, forgetting what I was intending.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. I think you for your support, I thank you for your coming back and again, thank you. May your day be joyous and your night be blissful.
NOSCE TE IPSUM
Dream Dark Stories 