Hi-ho and hello
Letter, letters, letters.
As I stated in the previous post I am writing some letters to the boys. I had originally decided that I was going to write three, one for both of them together to be read and then one separately each. Even with forever stamps though, I’m looking at using the three I have left for what I’m writing just in one letter. But at least I have it.
It’s been too long since the last letter I’ve written but it’s about time that I’m communicating to the two that will be receiving them shortly.
Regardless, I’m still nervous, not that I’ll be there when they get the letters, not that I’ll see how their faces change through page after page. Will they be stolid and silent, or will they come with grace and a wanting to meet?
The questions I should have asked myself years ago and couldn’t see from when I made the decisions that had led me to where I’m at now, it’s surreal at times, just to think of then and now. To think of the infantile young adult that was 19 and stupid to now, nearing 34, wishing and wondering so many things could have been different, but if it was that, I wouldn’t be me, it wouldn’t be this.
I leave you with a poem of what’s being felt inside, the wrestling of me.
Untitled
By: M. R. Vega
Questions, answers, a child, make it two. They come with hesitations, lamentations, facing an adverse wall of loss and convoluted reprise.
I come with constraints, a nervous bellowing deeply settled, unsure of the realities I see, unsure of the recoiling unknown, knowing I’d be just as apprehensive to know what’s before me.
Questions and answers, share a truth, don’t shy from honesty, trust in thyself, what’s the worst that can happen?
So many years, so many unanswered questions, curiosities of the splendor to the unknown, the unchecked, what will you say? How will you feel?
There sits pen and paper, before me it rests, my hands shake, the heart quivers to the nervousness of what you two will think. I press on and give you as much as I can muster to give a good take of my tapestry.
Take the thread, follow my steps to learn from what I’ve become and who I am to be. I come with honesty and guilt, take my apologies as you will. I am here.
C’est La Vie
Good night and good morning, good morning and good night. Thank you for the support readers and I Love that you come back time and again. May your day come with grace and the night a blissful one. Thank you.
NOSCE TE IPSUM
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