There is so much to do, so much to clean, and make order to what’s amiss. And though it’s only the 4th of course the year before in the year before all piled together because we know like the pills we ingest there is a half-life to everything we have before us and behind us and hell even coming to us. But I will say regardless of half-life I am very much, really f****** sick and tired of having to hug at the cactus. I get the idea for retribution, consolidation, and recovery regardless the relationship, a dichotomy gone awry, or a relationship of the most dearest, I’m sick and tired of hugging the f****** cactus. But then again I have to realize and also respect and understand that my differences are going to be just like that of someone else’s, different.
I am not you, I’m not them, I’m not they, I am me. Still sick and tired of hugging the cactus but at least there’s that understanding that I need to come to terms with the knowledge that if I want that love and feel that I may favor with this love, I need to understand that no matter what I envision, doesn’t mean we share the same and doesn’t mean we cover the same or hold to the same principal.
But when you really look at it that’s what it is right? It’s loving somebody or appreciating somebody so much and just enough that no matter what flame, no matter what dagger, no matter what pile of s*** they give you you’re going to turn around and just like a puppy come running back wagon that tail because there’s a love that is unequivocal unmeasurable and you just hope that you don’t f*** it up enough that it never comes back right?
I’m that kind of person though, I’m that dumb dog that tends to not hold a grudge. Nope, I tend to forgive very easily and I hope, so much to a point that it’s almost insurmountable naivety. And I guess that’s the conundrum or the paradox. That I’m a fool enough to reset my mind over and over regardless and just try to hold on dear for the next day being better than this. I’ll change for myself, I’ll change to make sure that life is better for others and better for communicating and understanding in making sure I can manage something of profit.May that come eventually. But again it’s a reset every freaking morning, I reset every morning and make a conscious decision to take the best that I can everyday. Day four and still thinking I got this. Just trying to maintain a lack in cactus, a rest when needed and food to quell the worry. Good night everyone.
Nosce Te Ipsum
Dream Dark Stories 